Children of us Addicts

[Cinders]

I use the word addicts because I belong to AA and many in my group were addicted to drugs and not alcohol. However, in my town, the NA group is a great place to score, otherwise, not so good. So the "drug" abusers come to AA.

I always laugh when the "oldtimers" are offended. They think "their disease" is different than ours.

Anyway, I digress.

I am thinking of David Hasselhoff, Pamela Bach and MY children.

Children who are dealing with a horrific addiction in parents.

I recall once, working at a client, where the client confided to me that he hated drinkers because both his parents were alcoholics and he just got sick and tired of cleaning up after them. (Obviously, this client had no idea who/what he was talking to!!)

and I think of my children. Both who have become alcoholics. Both tired of their mama being one. One sober, the other "only drinking at night when it doesn't hurt anyone."

Both children of an alcoholic.

When I read about David Hasselhoff being hospitalized "involuntarily" (happened to me a few weeks ago) and Pamela Bach getting a DUI and that the children have had to deal with this many times, my heart bleeds.

I have scared my children, my husband, my parents, my GRANDCHILDREN with this addiction.

It is such a selfish "whatever you want to call it, disease, choice, addiction."

I hate being an alcoholic.

I hate it.

Cindi

[catch22]

Children of us Addicts

[QUOTE=Cinders;766961]
and I think of my children. Both who have become alcoholics. Both tired of their mama being one. One sober, the other "only drinking at night when it doesn't hurt anyone."

This scare's me about my kids my son the other day had 2cans of beer in his mini fridge in his bedroom his 17yrs old i went mad i feel like im a bad parent... i said i will not allow him to have AL in the house.

I to hate it.....

[brightlite]

Children of us Addicts

I have tears in my eyes Cindi. It is the scourge of the disease world and misunderstood. The drug is readily available and glamorized, romanticized. Your damned if you do and your damned if you don't... I hate it too.

Hugs to you.

[drylifeahead]

Children of us Addicts

You know Cinders, what I find puzzling is that my parents did not drink. Their liquor cup board was stocked FULL of just about everything. Each trip they took would see them coming back with a big bottle of something or another in terms of booze. And the bottles would sit in that cabinet, until we had guests over. For me is was not a learned behaviour..an automatic response to reach for a drink. What happened to me...

I also worry about my boys. When my oldest was 14, he got drunk with his buddy. At work I got a call from the Mom saying to pick my son up, he was passed out on a bed in their home. So as I was driving him to his Dad`s he said ``I got you back for the time you...``referring to a time I didn`t control my drinking and was drunk in front of him. It was a long horrible night, and I worry about my sons, and their future in regards to addiction based on what they saw growing up from their very own Mom.

My oldest seems to be quite mature..has goals for himself..and I hope he turns out a hell of a lot smarter than his Mom did. My youngest too.

DLA :h

[rubywillow]

Children of us Addicts

Cinders, your story reflects so much of my own. I wonder sometimes at the dichotomy of the small town; the large, extended Southern families and their mores; how our upbringing in that society affected us in this vastly different world. At the end of the day, of course, we are just left with ourselves, and what we have made of us. After terrifying my family for years, to the point my beautiful daughter would barely allow me access to my grandchildren, I am finally gaining back the trust and respect I lost. I have vowed never to lose it again. That should be enough for anyone, but again, at some point, it's just me, and my choices. You have an amazing insight into the world around you, Cindi. I hope you write, journal, in some way record your feelings each day, because I think someone with the depth of strength and emotion as you have needs to express it somewhere everyday. Just my opinon, but I can only imagine you are fascinating in person. Thank you for your posts.

And I too have been saddend by following David Hasselhoff's downward spiral. I pray for him and his family.