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    #1

    Chattering monkeys

    Seems that I have heard somewhere that when drinking it is as if your head is full of chattering monkeys. My monkeys are constantly reminding me of all the pain in my life, telling me all of the reasons for my lack of self esteem, reminding me of my failures, taunting me with images of people that have hurt me as well as the lives of people that I feel that I should envy, basically enforcing to me all of the reasons that I do drink and that I should drink. Today is Day 3 for me. I could not sleep last night at all for all of the chattering monkeys and then when I finally did get to sleep I awoke with them screaming at me first thing this morning.

    Tonight I have a huge social engagement; sort of our community's coming out party for the Christmas season. It will be a huge turn-out and there will be incredible food and wine. Always so much fun. I am going to keep reminding myself today that I will not drink. NOTHING is worth those chattering monkeys.

    To those who've gone before me........do the monkeys ever leave?
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    #2
    Chattering monkeys

    To those who've gone before me........do the monkeys ever leave?

    New Creation I know exactly what you are talking about!!!

    I haven't a lot of AF time, but they have quieted somewhat. They wouldn't shut the hell up in
    the beginning, and sometimes I felt like drinking just to get some peace. However, then the
    truly evil chattering monkeys would come out for sure, making me feel 1000 times worse than
    those ones that just try and get me to drink.

    Hang in there, it's tough, but it's worth it.

    DLA :h
    Of all vices, drinking is the most incompatible with greatness
    Sir Walter Scott
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------

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      #3
      Chattering monkeys

      Yes, they leave. It takes a while. They leave the room but not the house, so you always have to be careful. As they say, once a pickle, you cannot go back to being a cucumber.

      You don't HAVE to go to the shindig, you know. If you do, make sure you have a plan. Give the toolbox thread a looky, right?
      sigpic
      Thoughts become things..... choose the good ones. ~TUT

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        #4
        Chattering monkeys

        :shockedmonkey::nomonkey::fitmonkey::eekmonkey
        these monkeys never actually leave you,but they do get very quite,but are forever just swinging above you ready to drop in at a moments weakness.


        :congratulatory: Clean & Sober since 13/01/2009 :congratulatory:

        Until one is committed there is always hesitant thoughts.
        I know enough to know that I don't know enough.

        This signature has been typed in front of a live studio audience.

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          #5
          Chattering monkeys

          NC, we'll be with you, you know. When those monkeys come out, tell them to talk to us. Use the voices you have heard hear to respond to them. Enjoy the food, take your time and savor each dish with your glass of sparkling water. Enjoy the fellowship, talk to people you REALLY like, avoid the others. Enjoy the sights and sounds of the season, and remember why you are there. It's not to make yourself miserable, sick or drunk. It's to celebrate. Those monkeys finally get very quiet, but sneaky. Still they're easier to deal with, only jumping out of closets occasionally when you're not expecting, and by then hopefully you'll be able to slap their butts back in! Get your tools together, make your plan, including an emergency exit plan if you need it. Remember, we're with you.
          Rubes :hug:
          sigpic
          Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
          awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

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            #6
            Chattering monkeys

            I love you guys

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