How do you get over the shame??

[Chardonnay]

We went Thanksgiving to my husband boss, I had 2 glasses of wine but totally blacked out after that. I completely embarrassed myself and my family. My husband is furious and the boss is making fun of me at their work.

How do one get out of this shame?? Alcohol is destroying me little by little. I'm just sick of this battle, why me???

[ronnie]

How do you get over the shame??

Hi Chardonnay
It will be someone else that everyone will be talking about soon, it sounds like your hubbies boss is fine about it, just dust yourself down hon, we have all been there and start again, are you going A/F or modding?
We have all said to ourselves "why me" but being A/F is great and I enjoy myself alot more when im sober than when ive had a drink, I am back on day 3 A/F after trying to mod, but it did'nt work for me.
If you want to pm me you are most welcome anytime.
Stay positive and stay strong
Love Ronnie xx

[UrbanFool]

How do you get over the shame??

I've been there too! You aren't alone.

[Liath]

How do you get over the shame??

I have made an ass of myself many a time and I think only time heals the wounds. But just think, if you absolutely dont drink then there is no chance of getting out of control and little by little you will gain confidence in yourself. I blacked out on Sunday night after a huge fight with my boyfriend. I was an ass and could not function the next day. I am now determined to change. If you need a friend to lean on, I am here!

[Chardonnay]

How do you get over the shame??

Thank you all for the support, I do need all the help I can get.

I tried moderate but my moderate is 7 beers a night?? I have to leave the stuff or my husband will leave me and take my daughter too.

[Angelcakes]

How do you get over the shame??

Chardonnay the humiliation can be so hard to bear...especially when others mock us, it's just ignorance - if your husbands boss had any idea of the struggle his attitude would surely change.
Use this experience - feel it & consider it in it's full horror, don't hide from it...and then use the regret/embarrassment/humiliation to show your husband & daughter that you're giving 100% to get the problem under control.
Right about now words won't mean a lot to your husband - your actions will speak much louder than your words ever could. What do you want to say to him?? Say it through your actions, loud & proud.

xo

[Doggygirl]

How do you get over the shame??

Hi Chardonnay. I too had countless episodes of drinking too much at business functions and making an ass out of myself. One thing is for sure - there are many many of us here that have felt the embarrassment you feel. I was so hopeless at the end of my drinking career that suicide seemed like a good idea.

I can also relate to the failed attempts at drinking moderately. You are absolutely not alone in that around here either! I just cannot drink. Once I start, it's Game Over.

The GOOD news is that we CAN get well again and put our lives back on the right track. I am so glad to be sober now. I've made it for 1.5 years and if I can do this, then I know you can do it too. People are getting sober here at My Way Out every single day. It's not easy, but the rewards are worth it. My relationship with my husband is the best it's ever been. I don't have to feel the guilt and shame that I felt every single drinking / hangover day of my life.

We don't have to hurt anymore unless we want to.

Have you read the My Way Out book? If not, I highly recommend downloading it from the Health Store. It will teach you the base line My Way Out recovery program and give you a place to get started.

Strength and hope to you,

DG

[Sweaty Betty]

How do you get over the shame??

Hi,

I decided I was going to stop being other people's 'entertainment' - does that make sense? I actually told them that when they commented on me being AF at social functions. I discovered I can enjoy myself being AF even though it was quite scary at first.

Read all you can here and get yourself a plan.

I STILL put smiley face stickers on the calender for AF days

Love Bets
xxxx

[startingover]

How do you get over the shame??

Oh Chardonnay, I feel for you, really I do.
I was known as "the entertainment" at office functions and it hurts.
Like everyone says, it can be changed, YOU can change it.
Lean on us here and lets get to work!

[wine no more]

How do you get over the shame??

I too was the enterainment for friends and family who actually encouraged me because I am a very funny drunk. Having said that, that's absolutely not who I would want to be. Plus, I am quite funny and crazy sober so I really don't need the drink anyhow!

The guilt will subside as you get some sober time under your belt. I have gone from feeling suicidal one morning to feeling like I have the world in my hands after a sober day. Believe in you because no matter if it's your kids, spouse, parents etc. you must love yourself the most! They can not do it for you.

I still struggle but am determined to win. I had my first sober Thanksgiving and my husband's family just kept watching me to see if I was going to drink - which I deserve after some of my repeat performances.

[crybaby]

How do you get over the shame??

stay on these boards. they can be the medicine we crave

Chardonnay, my heart goes out to you. I too have felt such humiliation after some of my exploits. Most if them, I couldn't remember since I was blacked out....but Boy did I hear about them from others. I think the shame is the most cutting. But we are NOT that person who made an ass of themselves. We are better than that. I'm TRYING to mod right now. I know inside, it may not work for me, but being back in this group of people to talk to (who express no judgement and only encouragement) has made me feel BETTER, and has brought hope for recovery back into my daily life. I've considered this idea. When someone is "recovering" from any injury (like a car accident), they are not BETTER right away, but they are moving toward BEING BETTER. Does that make sense? I like thinking of myself as "in recovery" even if I'm trying to mod, because it's the process that counts. I hope this helps. Please pm me anytime; I feel we may be in the same boat; let's row together!

-cry

[Tiny]

How do you get over the shame??

Chardonnay, time does heal all wounds but it does SUCK!!!!!

I think I have you all beat based on my behavior at my HS 20 year reunion -- I was Homecoming Queen to boot so that made for even better ridicule! It stings today to think about it....

Hang in there & be good to yourself! Our body chemistry is fragile and we need to learn to respect ourselves -- I know that I am still a work in progress ...