Army Thread 3rd December

[startingover]

Morning lovelies!
Its a full moon tonight and I feel honoured to be awake at this time to see it in all its glory...
Bet I wont be saying that in a few hours when Im knackered though

[ladyjan]

Army Thread 3rd December

hiya my co-vamp......
I've been up since 1:30am just can't get back to sleep !!

wot you up to ??

[ladyjan]

Army Thread 3rd December

congrats on passing the entrance exam, when do you start? or is there still more work you have to do??

is Tigger still with you ??

[startingover]

Army Thread 3rd December

Yay its Vampira!!!
I am going to do some work on my final assignment. Its my last class tonight and if I can hand it in today I will be very happy.
I start on Jan 11th and am very excited about it. Next year is going to be a good one I hope :-)
Hows Ollie?

[ladyjan]

Army Thread 3rd December

hey thats cool, you sound so happy and up beat...

nice one, knew you could do it, you don't come accross as a chick that gives up!!

yeh Ollie is great, I went on monday school meeting with teacher, end of term report, he is doing good, the big wigs had the meeting and on tuesday I had my visit with Ollie, they were all very happy and kept smileling at me, but said I had to wait till the end of the visit..!!

well what they have agreed is that as I have complied with the objectives and everything is evolving positively, on the visit they do not have to be supervise, we can talk in English and on saterday we can go out from the centre alone for three hours within the village..
then if all goes well with the sat visits he can come for xmas day for dinner etc but must come back to sleep in the centre.
I wish it was more, but it is good news and all positive for when the contract finishes its term in january !

[startingover]

Army Thread 3rd December

Oh LJ, that is fantastic news! I know you want him home fully but at least you can see progress.
I work with a girl who has lost her three children, she is in the process of going through the court process to get two of them back. One has been adopted so there is no chance of her having that one back.
She is doing well, she is an alcoholic and drug addict (recovering) who has turned her life around. Very inspirational but I cannot imagine how she must feel with her current battle.

[ladyjan]

Army Thread 3rd December

yep, thats the thing once they are in the "system" it's very hard to get them back, the social services have been involved with my family since just before Ollie was born.

Volker his father hit and kicked me so much when I was 7 months pregnant, my nieghbour took me to the clinic, there was blood everywhere but (being stupid) I didn't want to call the police and get him into trouble !!!!!!
anyway the doctor filed the complaint against him, I had to go to forensic doc.. talk with the judge... but still didn't make the complaint against him, I know different now and have a restraining order against him also if he shows up he will be arrested for all the times he did hit me because now I have filed a full complaint against him with witnesses, sadley Jamie & Bonnie saw most of it, but so did Ollie even tho he was a babe and then a young child he remembers..
anyway the S.S. told me to allow ollie to go into care voluntary and give me time to sort myself out and get strong, I totally freaked out and refused.. I was stupid coz it would've been the best thing to do plus if he had gone in voluntary I could get him out at any time..
but really it has been the best thing all round Ollie has been safe and cared for, I met all you guys and got my head straight, realised alchohol for the shit it truly is. I feel so great now.

[startingover]

Army Thread 3rd December

You are an inspiration LJ. I hope that you can keep telling your story to help others.
For me, I am often grateful to have gone through the things I have, as hard as they are at the time, its taking my life in a direction I could never have dreamed of.
We are blessed in our own ways I think.

[ladyjan]

Army Thread 3rd December

I have done so much reflection over my life and have things so much clearer in my mind.I feel so much peace and calm, no more angry and bitterness over things past, coz that is where I have left it....in the past..
my life is now and with my future to come and it is in my power to shape it.
one of the thoughts I have had over all this time is that for the past 37 years I have been drinking, the only days I have been AL free, have been the days in the hospital giving birth, but I still had access to it when champagne was brought in and when I have been in & out of hospital drink related illnesses and the three times detox.. apart from these times I had been daily drinking, the last ten years was when it really got out of hand,
I never had a day without it for just about all those 37 years, so I never knew what it felt like to be "normal"..

the way I have described it to myself is that for all these years I have never known how it feels to be clean and "normal" to wake up without a fuzzy head, being sick, dizzy, struggling to get it together to be functional to leave the house.

I have always been on one side of the wall of life not knowing the feeling it is on the other, but now I have experianced the other side of the wall and its fucking wonderful..

all these "normal" people are not boring idiots coz they don't drink, they are on the best side of the wall and it's so like night & day, I don't want to go back to that shit quality of life on the other side of the wall..

hope that makes some sense ???

[ladyjan]

Army Thread 3rd December

right, gonna go nanna nap...
else will be like a zombie today..!! catch ya later..:h

[Tulipe]

Army Thread 3rd December

Hi LJ and Starty,
LJ you should feel so good for yourself. You have had a lot of pain, and it sounds like the men in your life, aside from your boys, have been pieces of you know what. You sound SO positive! I am happy for you, and optimistic for your future with Ollie. That is such a cute name!
Hey Starts you are so close to all of this in your work. That must be inpirational. I don't know if I could see the pain everyday though.
Morning to those awakening!

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Army Thread 3rd December

Good morning guys, I have just read through your posts and I am in awe and I know why it feels so safe on the army threads. You guys are such an inspiration in how we can forgive ourselves, learn to live again and move on to a better, sober life. There is a whole big world out there and life is short, too short to be pissing it away. My only regret is that I didnt meet you guys years ago but I no longer have time for regrets, the sun will rise here soon and with it a new day, full of promise. Hope it is a good one for us all.

[Opal]

Army Thread 3rd December

Morning Army, you inspirational lot. Just a quick hello, goodbye and off to work. See you all later.

[startingover]

Army Thread 3rd December

Hi Again Opes, KT and Tulipe

Tulipe I feel honoured to be let into these peoples lives, yes it can be painful, but in their own way, they inspire me too.

KT, no regrets, we are what we are and if he hadnt been through what we did, we would never appreciate what we have now :-) Geddit?

[mario]

Army Thread 3rd December

morning all. hope all is well.