AF December Challenge

[Angelcakes]

Hi all,
Just looked at No-bender and I see the stayers are still posting there so thought I'd kick of December. Els, no-one will not reply if you start the thread lovey (you funny thing) but I understand your hesitation.
OK, so who's in and how are we going??

xo

[Elsa]

AF December Challenge

Hi
Thanks for starting us off Angelcakes, I've just seen this as I'm off to bed after a boring day writing an essay which I STILL haven't finished, for the time I'm taking on it you would think it was War and Peace, anyway, stayed AF today and am going to bed tired but sober. Hope everyone is doing OK.
Take care:l

[Angelcakes]

AF December Challenge

Hey Els - thanks soo much for replying and good going.
I'm pretty knackered myself so off to hit the sack now- another AFday here too.

xo

[hdb]

AF December Challenge

Hi thanks for starting the thread Angel cakes, hope you both had a good weekend? x

[roberta930]

AF December Challenge

Hi All,
Just found the thread - thanks for starting it AC- I'm pretty new to this kind of thing myself! Just had a pretty bad couple of days (not in bender proportions- but not good) Took one look in the mirror this morning and realised that I'm going to have to get my act together if I want to look anything "like human" for the dinner I've got to go to at weekend!
So wish I could find the "off button" but don't reckon there is one for me- my only hope is that I can eventually go totally AF before it's too late. Why do I always start thinking I can start drinking moderately when I've been AF for a couple of weeks?
How is everyone else doing?
Love - R

[Elsa]

AF December Challenge

Hi
Roberta - the fact that you can stop for a couple of weeks is a big acheivement, you should be proud of that. As for the rest, just keep trying, you will get there.
Take care:l

[cloquahop]

AF December Challenge

That's great! That's quite a very informative post. Thanks for your share.

[Hartley]

AF December Challenge

roberta930;771898 wrote: Hi All,
Why do I always start thinking I can start drinking moderately when I've been AF for a couple of weeks?

Because that's what we all think. We can't deal with the fact that we're "different" and "not like everybody else." Well news just out - everybody is different in some way! But in the back of our minds is the little voice saying "well, maybe some day....." when in fact that someday will probably hasten an early grave.

If you're hearing that little voice when you're AF, you're going to fail. Commit and accept the fact that for some of us, there is no choice but long-term abstinence. And in my long experience of this fight, if you stop doing the work, you'll pick up a drink.

Do everything you can to arm yourself, whether that's here, books, therapy, drugs, supplements, AA, BA, God, Buddha, Bob Marley... whatever it takes. Just don't fail for lack of trying, as I have on plenty of occasions.

Everytime I fail, I learn something. Everytime I fail, I find a new resource. And everytime I fail, I learn something more about my own fears, anxiety and inadequacies and I open up to myself just a little more and get closer to what I know is the root to success - total self-honesty.

And then I get back up and I bloody start again, thanking every possible deity and - just to cover my ass, you understand - possible alien master that's out there that I'm still alive!

God I feel better for that.

xx

[Raven.joy]

AF December Challenge

so what is this thread all about? is it for people committed to not going on a bender over Christmas? I'm in.

[hdb]

AF December Challenge

Hi all

Had a drink Fri Sat & Sun - like you Roberta I seem to have misplaced the off switch!!!! I have come on leaps and bounds though with the help of OctSober NoBender and now December Challenge and I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for that :h - I no longer feel the urge to drink during the week - which believe you me (and I am sure that you can) is a HUGE HUGE HUGE achievement ...... and I really mean massive!!!

I am going to try and have a go at drinking just on a Saturday, its this now that I seem to have the problem with ... but hey if I thought that I would be typing this 6 months ago I wouldn't have believed it! That?s something that I have learnt from our group here and that is not to beat yourself up to much - and to congratulate yourself for the things you have achieved and give some time for the things you haven't yet achieved - but don't beat yourself up about it ALL the time and it really was ALL of the time in the past - every waking moment and that is no way to exist - so thank you!!!!!!

I know that I will have to be cautious for the rest of my life where alcohol is concerned and that is something that I have finally accepted.... and if I can accept and make that work I will be eternally grateful. My next step if I cannot make it work is to abstain and that saddens me but if I have to I will.... although saying that it saddens me but not as much as it would sadden me to take myself back to where I was 6 months ago.

A lot of things have changed in my life over the last three months, I feel like (and I am petrified to say this!) I am getting some control of my life. Don?t get me wrong - I have always been a highly functioning drinker with two beautiful children who are very well looked after and hugely loved ? I took myself to the top of my chosen career in fact from the outside I very much doubt that anybody thought I had a problem (who am I kidding ! HAVE a problem)? inside though I was broken and in bits and suffering with dreadful depression and very low self esteem and huge anxiety.

These are very early days I know and very tiny steps and as I am writing I am hoping that I won?t have to eat these words one day..... sorry for waffling only intended a short check-in email ? thanks for listening xxx

[Elsa]

AF December Challenge

Hi
Hdb- I'm not ready to say I'll be AF for life either, its too scarey a thought, and would probably send me right back to the bottle. But this getting sober is quite scarey too, having to deal with memories that I would rather forget, and having to deal with bad situations without my crutch. Realising that I've done this to myself and it is'nt anyone else's fault.
Learning to forgive myself, and to not feel guilty all the time is a really nice feeling. Also learning to realise how much I have acheived.
I am really grateful that you, and all the others, have been there for me, and I don't want my life to go back to how it was in September, (was it really only 3 months ago?) and I will keep on taking those tiny steps with you.

Raven - Hi and welcome, yes pretty much, to answer your question.

Take care:l

[Angelcakes]

AF December Challenge

Raven.joy;771973 wrote: so what is this thread all about? is it for people committed to not going on a bender over Christmas? I'm in.

Raven you got it - or some are trying to stay AF completely.
Glad to have you on board...love your avatar.

I've had a good couple of days - was officially offered a job I had my heart set on so that starts mid Jan & I'm helping out a few days before Chrissy - perfect timing for some extra $$ before Christmas.

xo

[roberta930]

AF December Challenge

Hi- Everyone sounds v.positive! I think you're probably right Hartley- once you start thinking that you can drink moderately in the future it kind of takes the wind out of the sails! But as Elsa says it is a huge thing to think that you can't/shouldn't ever have a drink again- buit perhaps doing it one day at a time will help- sort of "I'm not going to do it today- probably never -but see how it goes" maybe that way it won't seem so unsurmountable. Even though I've not been great recently- like hdb & Elsa- just having been able to stay AF for a couple of weeks at a time is a massive step forward for me sfter 20-30 yrs of being hooked on a daily basis.
I'm still really worried about going to this big dinner at the weekend as the drink will be flowing non-stop and husband made a rather telling remark last night "this dinner is certainly not an event that anyone should think about getting drunk at" he made out that he was talking about some colleagues at work- but I felt that maybe there was a message in there for me too? or maybe I'm just paranoid. I looked in the mirror this morning and realised I need to be AF to also save my face as it's starting to get a bit bloated again.

Love to all- R

[hdb]

AF December Challenge

Well done angelcakes - congrats on the new job thats brilliant! x

Good luck with the weekend roberta x maybe consider driving? or if you dont want to stay completely AF maybe one AL followed by a soft drink?

Welcome on board raven.joy

You know its very strange after writing that last message i had a massive low lastnight and today - I don't often open up and i certainly let it all spill last night! I have no idea why it would make me feel low .. bonkers eh?

Have a nice evening all x

[roberta930]

AF December Challenge

Hi hdb- hope you're feeling ok tonite? I know what you mean about just letting it all spill! this is such a good site and no one comes back to be horribly judgemental - because we've all been there! so any kind of step forward is a massive step.
This site has been a lifesaver for me -thanks AC & everyone!
keep strong Elsa- we can do it!
Love R X