Where are all the professional women?

[happycamper68]

Where are all the professional women?

Don't Go!

Em,
Please don't go. We've all had our awful days, and I do remember being terribly despondent in the beginning throes of topa, it was just miserable, and to have a child in Iraq and your mom going what she's going through, I wish you had said something... We are all here for you and I am sorry I jumped on you. :l

[eustacia]

Where are all the professional women?

Dear Em,

My heart just broke for you when I read about your son in Iraq. My own feelings about the wisdom of this war aside, I can't think of anything much harder than being a parent whose child was deployed to fight in Iraq. I'm sure that I would be almost constantly sleepless and would find it very difficult to carry on. Kudos to you that you have been able to go about your professional life despite your worries.

I'm wondering if the reaction to your question about professionals who are participating with this program didn't raise some hackles because it was misread as a concern about class. In a way, I find this funny. I am as educated as anyone I know and look what boat I find myself in? As an example, the staff of the building where I live are not professionals in the typical sense of that word but none of them appear to have put themselves in a life threatening situation with alcohol. So they beat me out in terms of sagacity BIG TIME!

You have a warm and tender heart and I hope that you will stay around for the benefit of all of us--professional and nonprofessional.

E

[Guest]

Where are all the professional women?

Gina...........Well said.

[goingsobermum]

Where are all the professional women?

Hi Em,
If you need support then this is a place you'll continue to get it both from the professionals and the stay at homers of us, both from the intellects and those that write drivel. Being a professional doesn't stop people writing drivel and staying at home doesn't make you unintelligent.
The fact is we are all here because we have a common problem that is messing up our lifes and we are here for one another, offering words of support to others helps too.
Love from Suz

[nomorewine]

Where are all the professional women?

Hi Em - I just read through this thread and I know what you meant. In my experience here (I came in March and left for a while, then lingered, then left and just returned...Phew!) the boards really have a life of their own and topics seem to go serious for a while, then less serious, then back....there is a real ebb and flow. And its good! There is so much information and support here. I left a while ago when things got nasty and tried to go it alone. HUGE mistake. So I am back. Its a good place to be and I do hope you'll stick around. You will not find a more caring, compassionate group of people willing to listen and share. Hang in there.

[Allie]

Where are all the professional women?

Em,
Can I please take the "wimp award" here? I was a total wimp this entire last year because we moved away from where we had lived for years. My son had graduated from high school and chose to stay "home" and not come with us. He was only six hours away, but it might as well have been in Iraq on my heart. He would inform me of everything that went wrong, but when I tried to help and take the only role I ever knew how to take in his life, he told me that he didnt need that. It broke my heart. I didnt know what else to do but pray for him. Thankfully, he has moved home after a year and is starting college soon. Being a Mom is the toughest job in the whole world I think, because it wears on your heart more than anything else ever could. except maybe being a Dad. Dont know.

Just wanted to say thank you for sharing, and I hope you stick around. For me anyway! Its hard to communicate your true feelings here sometimes and I totally understand that you didnt mean it to sound snobby. You are a teacher and mother. You deserve all the best!

Standing by you!
Allie

[GratefulEm]

Where are all the professional women?

Thanks Allie

Your post really touched my heart because you got right to the heart of the matter. It's hard to be a mom
and have your heart pierced. I think of all kinds of people who have lost children and my heart aches for them. Some lose kids to traffic accidents or disease - no matter what it's the worst loss of any. My son is still alive but facing death every day. And he may come back home just fine. I just have to bear myself through this. But I do I have my horrible days. My profession used to mean so much to me. Now I go into school and I feel like I'm grieving because all the adolescent behavior seems so senseless, trivial and often just makes me angry. The temptation to drink is always lurking in the background. I have a long, long ways to travel. I think I'm only starting on this journey. Guess I ruffled some feathers - I was mainly curious about how I'm going to hold my professional life together this year. I have deep, dark fears of ending up in
a hospital because I can't keep it together anymore. On other days, the kids in my classes really keep me going. I think they instictively know that I'm having a hard time. Kind of a role reversal, but sometimes teens can be amazing too. But, thank you Allie, that was a really touching post. Em

[Ann]

Where are all the professional women?

Hiya Happy, just going through posts, can't sleep...didn;t get a chance earlier in chat to wish you good luck with going back to work in the morning, hope it is not too stressful and that your colleagues are supportive. You deserve it. Good luck! Ann

[fsophiah]

Where are all the professional women?

This post has a life of its own! Obviously, it's in the title, and it's the word "professional," which is something I find really interesting. Even after all we've been through as women, we still have a hard time coping with the issue of what that means and how we need to love and respect each other. We are still juggling so many things, not the least of which is the heartache that we experience as mothers and as people who have to hold onto jobs and make it all work. The other night I took my daughter-in-law to the ballet for her birthday. I complained all the way there about both of my sons and how they wouldn't listen to me. Then, she said something very wise. She said, "I think what you are doing now is the most important thing you can do. You have changed your drinking. You are exercising. You are taking care of yourself." So I've held onto that. Kathy keeps referring to the airline instruction to put the oxygen mask on yourself before you give it to the child. That's what we need to be for each other. An oxygen mask.

[goingsobermum]

Where are all the professional women?

Hi fspophiah, thanks for that.
Em next time you need help why not ask for it rather than start of with a post about needing professional women posting as the rest is drivel and the site is going down hill.
Most of us arn't good at asking for help but here we do and receive it, you could to.

Suz

[C]

Where are all the professional women?

Dearest Em,

Please ignore any negative comments in this thread that may hurt you. You did nothing wrong. In fact you expressed what many of us have felt the past few months about the forums.

I agree, Allie's remarks were so beautiful. I too have had the same experience with my son who is 29 and last year hurt himself (again) from skiing. I offered some help in a very "Mom knows best way" and it really upset him. For a year our communications have been touchy. We are just getting back on track. I was devastated. He is my first born & we were always incredibly close. We have the same spiritual sensiblities.

My heart aches for you EM. It may be harder on you than on him. Is that possible? At least emotionally? Did he get rid of that infection? How is he doing?

Please don't be hard on yourself, EM. This is an enormously difficult time for you, it seems to me. I know I would be an absolute wreck. If you make any progress at all on your self-development, you should be glad & pat yourself on the back for it. I am sure things will get easier for you when your son is home.

Love,
Chrysa

PS Please keep us posted about him. OK?. I send prayers to him & include him our Prayers of the People at church on Sundays.

[GratefulEm]

Where are all the professional women?

Chrysa, Thanks so much for your words- they wrapped themselves around me like loving arms as I read them. Here we don't even really know each other but there is so much caring. We DO love our sons so much. Remember when they were babies and we held them in our arms. I'm having a better week, slowly getting used to the idea that he's in Iraq. I'm telling myself how proud I am of him. He chose this path. He's jumped out of planes and proven himself in impossible situations. He's living the life he wants - he wanted to be 82nd Airborne. Yes, it's harder on me, than on him. Thanks again, Chrysa, I'm coming around. I lashed out with that post. I was is such an angry place for most of the end of August and Sept.
I do owe an apology. I've said it before, I'm not any sort of intellectual snob. I've waitressed for years, I worked in a factory for a summer. My grandparents were dairy farmers. I love the land, nature and animals more that anything. I was just in an awful, awful place and scared to death that I wasn't going to be able to uphold my teaching responsibilities. But again, I can't say enough how much I appreciate your healing words Chrysa - you seem to have alot of wisdom. Em

[GratefulEm]

Where are all the professional women?

P.S. And you saw into my soul Chrysa. Em

[C]

Where are all the professional women?

Oh Em,
You are better with words than I am here. Yes, oh dear God, I remember holding my son and in wonder at how much I loved this little soul. Really I was in love with that baby. To this day we have the same illnesses & pains in our body.

But -- I am so happy to hear that this was really his choice EM. Yes, then it is all in God's plans for him & you. That is good. Maybe you can think about that more. He is doing what he wanted. His God/Angels will look after him then.

Please really forget the lashing out bit -- I did not see that at all. And some others did not either, based on what I read (well at least one - tawney). Seems to me you were just deciding to get involved, in touch. Cyperspace communication is wierd.

Oh, I too love nature so much, it is my spiritual source.

I do not feel you owe an apology to the board, but you know best. I feel others do, for being overly sensitive of the word "professional". However, I see through my own eye-glasses.

I can't remember exactly -- is your son Donny or Danny or...?? Sorry.

You are doing fantastic. Truly I am impressed Em, and I mean that. This war is extremely upsetting to me also & I think about the boys and girls a lot. They will be home soon. Nothing stays the same.

I hope you sleep better tonight dear friend.
Love, C

[GratefulEm]

Where are all the professional women?

It's Donnie. And I am sleeping better tonight. He emailed me from Iraq so I know he's well for now. I remember to pray all the time in the name of Jesus and to send angels to protect him and all the other guys in his platoon and all our soldiers in Iraq. Also all our precious sons and daughters who are important to us.
I've been humbled by the thought that my son has accomplished alot. What about the agonies of other mothers? I am trying to open my heart more. Some sons and daughters are lost to addictions and that has to be heart-wrenching.
In my chosen profession (life's work) the kid's keep my going. Adolescents are so needy but so giving too. They make me mad, furious, hysterical with laughter, amazed, and keep me forever on my toes. I'm lucky to be working with them. I need to stay strong for my son. Thanks for the third, or fourth time Chyrsa. May all our babies be safe and protected by angels. Em