Men No Pause Here Dec 15-26

[dancelot]

Men No Pause Here Dec 15-26

Hi, Menoprincesses!

Just stopping to say hello - I'm a little under the weather, so haven't posted much (I had almost finished a long detailed one a few days back when the power went out and zapped it, so I gave up and took a nap!).

[dancelot]

Men No Pause Here Dec 15-26

Hi, again Menoprincesses -

I've been feeling a little of the Christmas blues lately, and couldn't quite put my finger on what this was about. I think I've figured it out - this will be only the second AF Christmas in my entire adult life. I don't really have a desire to drink, but I see a big old trigger that in the past, I'd be partying way too hard by now. Sort of like the first holiday after the big break up, or the first one after the death of a loved one (that may be an exaggeration, but something of that same feeling, where it is very hard to shake).

On a positive note, I stayed up cooking late tonight, so I got some good comfort food in the fridge (beef stew and big fluffy dumplings). Hope everyone's hanging in there. Let's all be kind to ourselves during these hectic holidays.

Much love to you menoprincesses! Glad you are around! :h

[RejuvenateBodyMindandSpirit]

Men No Pause Here Dec 15-26

foxtrott;776217 wrote: I posted in the last thread with all kinds of resolve to quit my 1 - 1 1/2 bottle a day wine addiction. In the last week I have had a day on and a day off..which is better but not where I want to be. I know this can be like dieting - I didn't put on 30 extra pounds overnight and they arent' going to come off overnight.

I am going to try some supplements...I have L-Glut and Kudzu - but I have an awful time remembering to take them. I struggle taking my regular medication...I hate taking pills. Is there any of this stuff in liquid form?

There are so many sad stories of people and children like the one just posted. People fiighting to live and have all the blessing I have and I'm sitting her and risking destroying my health and family.

I know this sounds silly and I know it is part of the addiction; but I truly hate the thought I can't drink my favorite wine anymore...I love the taste of it.

One of my first steps and committments is to come here every day with a report of my progress, even if it isn't good news. This is one of the most supporting and caring groups I've encountered. Blessing to all, Fox

Have you added the CD tapes to your arsenal? I found the hypnosis helped alot years ago when I quit smoking...so I knew it would help with the AL....& it has. There is alot of help with the anticraving drugs as well. My husband & I are using Topamax, but others have great sucess with Baclofen or Campral....none of this is a magic bullet & no one is saying it's easy...but giving yourself all the tools you can... to help yourself have the best fighting chance! YOU can do this!

Rejuve

[rubywillow]

Men No Pause Here Dec 15-26

Yes, Sped, we have to realize what a HUGE part of our lives AL has become, that it's not 'just a beverage', it's a lifestyle, a partner, such an integral part of our lives we plan almost everything around it. We have to understand how much it affects our daily life to begin to live without it. We have to understand the SCOPE of it's pervasion into our existence, because I know when I started to look at it this way, I was asounded. I had given AL power over almost every waking action. As scary, lost, even hollow as it feels at first, reclaiming my live, my power, my spontenaity (if I get a call at 10:00 PM and need to drive somewhere, I don't have to give it a second thought!) is my reward.

[spedteach]

Men No Pause Here Dec 15-26

Good morning all you ole gals,
Dance, I want them fluffy dumplings and stew. I know what you're talking about with af Christmas's. I've had a few but not many. Yesterday making cut out cookies and thinking I'm usually loaded when I do this. Ruby, it was like I was making cookies with my best friend. And it would be fun for a while until making cookies became too complicated a task for my poor inebriated state. So now I look at my cookies and think what cute little sober cookies they are.
Another thing I would do would be white knuckling it thru Christmas day just to say I made it thru Christmas sober and then spending the week between the 25th and New Years trashed.
I am so glad to have my 4 months of sobriety under my belt and to feel so confident about having an af holiday this year.
And I am so psyched to have my sons coming in from California on Tuesday.
Happy Sunday all!!
How do I get an avatar??

[dancelot]

Men No Pause Here Dec 15-26

Hi, Menoprincesses!

I made it through yesterday, and hope today will be better. I didn't realize it could be this bad. I got bitched out by two different people yesterday, one was a misunderstanding with my brother, the other my roommate just showing his true colors and being a jerk and taking it out on me. On top of not feeling 100%, having hormone fluctuations/PMS, and it being the season where I feel I could go over the edge. Argh! I was in Target and passed a big wine display and heard the demon calling, which hasn't been around in awhile. Except, it didn't say "you can have just one", more like "wouldn't you like the whole bottle, and maybe a little more?" It was unnerving, to say the least. I immediately headed to the other end of the store where the $1 fun stuff is, got a little box of $1 truffles, then two more, so I had one of every type. By the time I got back around the store to check out, the demon was gone (thankfully).

When I got home, I tried to do "kid Christmas" stuff - like I would've done when I was 10 years old - had cookies, candy, hot tea (maybe I need to do cocoa - with LOTS of marshmallows!), worked on a jigsaw puzzle, with my kitty "helping", listened to the Cowboys actually beat the Saints (OK, something went right), since that wasn't on TV here for some reason.

I can relate to the drinking/cooking/baking scenario. Or the drinking/wrapping gifts/decorating the Christmas tree. The celebratory side of AL. I think it was trying to get at me from all directions, celebrate or drown your troubles first, then celebrate more. Scary, and it took me off guard. Very humbling.

Another positive of AF cooking/baking - I don't wake up to a pile of pans and mixing bowls with dried up dough, and the counters aren't coated in flour or sticky stuff. The dishes actually get washed, or at least rinsed and the counters are clean.

I did stock up on more L-Glute, SAM-E, and picked up a bottle or mixed amino acids (don't know if they're like the ones here, but decided, they can't hurt), and took them last night (even though they can keep you awake) and extras this morning.

And researching dumplings, I found lots of food and recipe websites, so there's somewhere to go when I've read everything at MWO! I need to keep up the cooking, be my own mommy/grandma so to speak. Just need to remember to keep up the exercise!

Spedteach (I always see your name as "Speedtech" - sounds like someone who engineers race cars) - if you go to your profile, there are pages of avatars in there somewhere where you set it up, or you can add your own (if you're not as tech challenged as I am).

Have a nice Sunday everyone! :h

[dancelot]

Men No Pause Here Dec 15-26

Spedteach, I found it - go to your profile (click on your name), then click "User CP" which is on the blue bar at the top, on the far left. It has edit profile, avatar etc. I went through all those pages of avatars and had to write down which pages the ones I liked were on (the menopausal brain at work, or maybe the ADD one? :H ). Hope that helps!

[drylifeahead]

Men No Pause Here Dec 15-26

Wecome Amethyst, Tiplerette..:l

Hi rubywillow, foxtrott, chillgirl, PhoenixRising, spedteach, dancelot, RejuvenateBodyMindand Spirit..

Just back after a weekend away for R&R out of the city.
Back now, and wanting to touch base.

Went for a lovely dinner at my sister's Sat night with my youngest and boy/f, and I have to tell you...what a nice feeling to not want to have a drink
and to know I would be driving us all back safely. And a wonderful clear head the next day.

I'm really feeling like I should not post on the long term abstinence forum anymore. I have had a couple drinks a couple times since my admission.
There's no doubt my newfound control at amount consumed can and will come crashing down anytime. It has to. Although I had been unhappy until
I moved away from ex boy/f, it always had...friends think it was because I was so unhappy. I'm thinking I should not make that as an excuse for my
over indulgence. It though now seems only 2 will have me waking up in the morning with a splitting headache. 2 beers.

I'm struggling now.

Meno Princesses...now I am asking...what the Hell do I do?????

I am not going away. I remember promising myself I would always keep coming back no matter what. Omg, I know I annoy some of you

DLA :h

[dancelot]

Men No Pause Here Dec 15-26

Hi, DLA -

I will say, if you were using AL as any kind of crutch before, to stay wary of it. If you were using it more when unhappy, that's a crutch. I mean be aware of how you deal with situations when the going gets bad. Just yesterday, I was extremely stressed out over a lot of things that have been building for some time, some of which are not immediately solvable, and honest to God I was so tempted to throw in the towel at one point. I have not felt that bad since the first week of being AF.

Only you know your own history and previous drinking patterns. If it is questionable at all, I'd say go for AF. If you're really thrilled that you did OK with 2 beers, and are excitedly looking forward to getting to do it again, I'd say stay AF. Really understand your own personal relationship with AL. Are you really able to see AL like butter, it's nice but I can take it or leave it? Before I came to MWO, I thought I had successfully been able to mod - I didn't even know the term. For me that meant drinking only on Saturday night, if I wanted to, and no more than 2. It worked for 2 weeks. The next Saturday night went so good, I thought I'd have a couple on Sunday as well. It ended up being more, and then the next day, until it was back to every day, and more of it. So be very wary - it didn't happen overnight, it appeared to be OK, something I could do, that is what was so insidious. So, yes, be very wary, very honest with yourself, and listen to your own inner wisdom.

And I am glad you are still here, that's the rules remember, come back no matter what! Take care. :h

[drylifeahead]

Men No Pause Here Dec 15-26

Dancelot, I was using it as a crutch. And I hear you. God I was sooo unhappy, for years. But, after years of drowning my sorrows, and numbing myself,
now I find myself with an addiction.

I'm happier than I've ever been. And now have reintroduced alcohol into my life. I'm scared now..I know what it did to me, how I
allowed it to rule my every waking moment. Right NOW I am ok, right NOW I feel like a normal person.

Jan 1st I am doing another 10 weeks. I swear!! Until then, maybe will have a couple, maybe not. I HAVE to know I do not depend on alcohol
to live a simple happy life?

I've read what I wrote in the past 3 months. Just so astounded to find myself 'here' now.

I hate this.

Ok, enough of me, Meno Princesses, how are you all?

DLA :l

[dancelot]

Men No Pause Here Dec 15-26

DLA -

Were (or are) you taking supplements or meds? Do you have the hypnosis CDs? Sorry if I can't remember details if you have said whether or not you did before - I can't even remember what threads I write stuff on - another good reason to keep this one going. Are you in an area where you could get supplements to start with if it takes time to order them from here? If you don't have the CDs, I actually received them in a week, though with all the holidays, they might be slower now. Sorry for going off topic if none of that's applicable.

The reason I brought up the CDs is, I brought them back out after a few rough days. They had helped before (I did the listen for a month like it suggested). They really do kind of clear out your brain, and have been very helpful to me. Just thinking of anything you might start that might make the transition easier - kind of prepare. I upped my supplements as well, and feel a lot more level headed. L-glute can be safely taken in huge quantities, and does minimize cravings, so even if you're not at the stop point right this second, maybe can help with damage control. I find it's helpful to stay on the stuff all the time, and take more as needed. I had run out, as I haven't been finding it as critical the longer I'm AF. One of the much longer term AF members recommended staying on a low dose and having it available if you need more.

This addiction is a demon that unfortunately doesn't get any easier over time. By the time you hit your 50s it really starts wreaking havoc physically (if it hasn't already) - and I have generally been pretty health conscious in other areas.

Knowledge is power - if we can learn from our mistakes, then they've proved useful. Be honest with yourself, see it for how it really is, and be positive. There's a difference between beating ourselves up and looking at a particular behavior as just no good. The behavior is destructive. Negative thinking is as well. Believe in a positive outcome. I try to be emotionally neutral, like the therapist would be when you talk to him. Listen to myself, my fears, etc, ask myself questions, give myself suggestions, all in that neutral voice (OK that sounds funny writing it down, but it works for me).

You did 10 weeks before, so you know what it takes, and proved you are capable of it. So, best of luck, and stay positive! The demon likes to undermine our confidence whenever it can, because that makes us vulnerable. Maybe respect the power it can have over us, and do what we can to not go in that direction - that is, be positive anyway. Take care, know you've done it before, you can do it again.

[dancelot]

Men No Pause Here Dec 15-26

And hi, Menoprincesses, I hope everyone is well! I'm a lot better! One day at a time indeed! Are you all ready for Christmas? Remember to be kind to yourselves if it gets too hectic. I'll be the mother hen of the day, haha! Come say hello if you get a chance! Hope all's well out there. :h

[drylifeahead]

Men No Pause Here Dec 15-26

Dancelot, I had been on supps and L-glut. . Stopped when I moved because I kept forgetting to grab them from roomies place to be honest.

Not long after, while out for a bite, I made the decision to have a drink. Not a smart move. I swear I am still in control, but I also know
at anytime, I can lose it. I, damnit am struggling with myself again. In terms of just saying no. I do say no, but not all the time.
I've never done the CD's. Maybe it's time..

Thank you for speaking up. Sometimes I know it's hard to know what to say to someone.

So, here's my plan.

I am going to my sisters tomorrow night. I will not drink.
I am taking my kids to my Uncle's the next day for 2 days, and I will not drink.
It's easy..I've let my family know of my issue with AL, and they support my decision, so me NOT drinking will not be questioned.
Plus, I will have my kids, and so I can not disappoint them. They are always so proud of Mom when we go out, and I do not drink.
I just love that.

Then, a couple more days til Dec 31st. I already know 100% if I do have a drink or two, that will be it, because there is no way I am
welcoming in 2010 with a hangover. NO WAY.

Jan 1st, I do another 10 weeks. No question. I did 10 weeks...maybe more since unbelievably I actually lost count? I remember
counting the days in the beginning. This time...10 weeks plus??

I really really liked not drinking.

I'll be off line for the most part until Jan 2nd. Lots of traveling and visiting, and won't be home.

I want to take this time to say please all have a Very Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year :l:l

DLA :h

[dancelot]

Men No Pause Here Dec 15-26

DLA - Have a wonderful Christmas! Sounds like you've got a decent plan in place. I think those supplements work so good we sometimes forget they do anything - I sure plan on keeping mine up now. And letting others who will support you in on your struggle gives you so much extra backup (I know I wouldn't dare drink if I'd told anyone!). Here's to a New Year and a new start - have a safe trip and we'll see you in 2010! :h

[rubywillow]

Men No Pause Here Dec 15-26

Hi girls! Sorry for being MIA - SO BUSY. Anyway, here are a couple of thoughts:
When we spend our power blaming and complaining, we are handing our power over to those about whom we complain. Do we really want to do that? Think about the ways you have given your power away recently.

"With each sunrise we start anew."

Something I just read, from real women: A friend of mine called me in tears after a visit to her male gynocologist. "He told me I had fibrous breast that were causing me pain, and since at my age they no were use to me or my husband I should have them cut off. What do you think?"
I quickly snap back to tell him he should get himself castrated and fire him.

Have a nice day, all you beautiful, strong women!