I came to MWO about a year and a half ago, in a major depression and with my drinking absolutely out of control. 7 days a week, and some days on a 24 hours basis.
I chose the name Aunty Mame, firstly because lots of the names I tried were already taken, and also because I had recently re-watched the movie (the Lucille Ball version), which I had first seen at the movies when I was a kid and which I absolutely loved. (and I still have a corny fondness for all musicals!!)
Since then, with the support of people here, I have managed 2 decent periods of being AF, and some shorter times as well. But, like lots of people here, I struggle on a daily basis. There is no doubt in my mind that I need to spend the rest of my life being AF. I just find it hard to actually put it into practice.
Anyway, with a new year coming up, I'm giving it another shot. My plan is in place (and actually its a good plan, I'm just piss poor at executing it!) but I decided that as a marker I wanted to change my name. I dont know whether any of you know the story of Aunty Mame: it is a great story, very funny and I love the character's eccentricity. But in the end she is a little tragic and controlled by fate. And I know it sounds a bit bizarre to be affected by a fictional identity that I use in an anonymous forum, but over the last couple of months, I've started to feel like I didn't want to be this character any more.
I've spent quite a lot of time thinking about my new name, but in the end chose this one in a heart beat when I got some bath salts with this label on it in a Secret Santa!! I love the way that fate/the Universe just send you stuff that you need sometimes!!
I am so grateful to many people on this forum. Particularly the NDT nutters, the meno-princesses, the Army and those on the Monthly Abstinence forum (which I plan to re-join when I feel liked I've "earned my stripes" as it were!!). You have supported me through some very tough times ...... stuff going on around me with my family and friends (and animals!) as well as for me. But I'm leaving Aunty Mame on the shelf and becoming Miss Behaving instead. I'm not saying that I expect not to struggle any more. But I'm giving it my best shot. Again!!
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