30 days ???

[cowgal]

30 days ???

no way!!!

need friends tho, they say alcoholism is a disease of loneliness, man are they (people in aa) right!! Went to another meeting today, will tomorrow too..............helps w/ the loneliness..............what kills me is at work durting the hours between 2-5Am...........sucks, I cannot really call anyone, there is nobody here, and I draw, but start nodding off, so change what I am doing and get back to it, tough job, but the only job I can get right now...............

Going to go pick Zac up at a friend's then come home and go to bed...................am soooooooooo tired, hope I don't go off the road while driving, I am that tired...........

MA:l:h

[brittzak]

30 days ???

It is ok to be nervous and scared. It is scarey, but you keep sharing with us so we can get you back in the right spot. Hang in there honey!

[greeneyes]

30 days ???

That's right! Remember in Peter Pan when he was working on keeping hold of his "happy thought"? You keep working at it! :l

[cowgal]

30 days ???

ok

Only happy thoughts today!

love you guys,:l:h

MA

[cowgal]

30 days ???

Ok...

That didn't last very long, out to brush horses, Nerrisa is missing half her coat on her back and ass from rainrot, it is a fungus that gets under their fur, went to vet came last week when I got them vaccinated it was not so bad but since then it has gotten horrible, Cocoa has it too but not so bad. It comes from dampness, and our horseyard is extremely wet, guess it will be a blessing to have them somewhere else?!

Just transferred all my savings into checking, this IS scarey!? I feel so emotional on every level today, getting emotional just driving down our beautiful canopy road etc. You name it, I cry over it! Thanks for listening, may call a couple of u tonight, don't worry, it will be before 2am!!:H:H

Love you guys!!!!:l:h

MA

[cowgal]

30 days ???

thread killer

I remember someone always calling themselves a thread killer.............guess I am the new one, will go to sleep soon, but wanted to revive this so it is up and in my face cuz u guys are my strength, thanks for the talk the other night greenie, and TIT, and Ruby..........she may not be on this one................but I am trying to wait for my melatonin to kick in, I cannot stand these hours of being up all night and trying to sleep in the daytime...........thank god this is just a baby step, hopefully...............we always have hope, right!?

love.:l:h

MA

[greeneyes]

30 days ???

MA, have you tried ear plugs? They accentuate the sound of your breathing and focusing on that helps you quiet your mind and put you to sleep. They make them in little wax balls that really seal up your ear well and are reusable too. Drugstore.

[more2life]

30 days ???

HI Girls,

You a thread killer, MA, No way! You're a thread reviver. I'm checking in from Kauai. We spent the morning at the beach, then had to come back to the hotel due to high winds. The waves were insane!!! Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Whats going on with the divorce MA?

TIT good for you putting day one behind you. I hope the campral works for you. I will be popping the antabuse as soon as I get home.

I have an appointment on the 22nd for my annual visit and full workup. I haven't been feeling all that well lately, so it will be good to know whats going on. Still have this stinking pinched nerve in back, which makes it nearly impossible to try to work out, or sit for long periods. Hubby wanted to drive to the other side of the island today and I had to tell him I couldn't ride in the car for two hours. It should be a fun plane ride home.

Happy to hear all of you are piling on the AF days. I will be joining you shortly.

Love you all.

[cowgal]

30 days ???

Will try

Have some earplugs, would be good to focus more on my breathing, meditating...... Thx.

See my lawyer again next week, she doesn't know the exact date, so far mike is not helping w/ gathering any of his paperwork, so it will probably be another grand, will I have to take out a loan to get this done?! I am flat out of $$ between him hounding me for rent $$, electric bill $$, buying groceries, let alone my bills , then me paying the lawyer myself?! I wonder if it BETTER be worth it!!!!! I am going to keep trudging along.......

Will be worth having my life back, starting over at 46.......

MA

[greeneyes]

30 days ???

MA!!! (said sternly) STOP GIVING HIM MONEY. SHE IS YOUR LAWYER. HAVE HER GET YOUR DIVORCE HEARING ON THE DOCKET!! MIKE ISN'T DOING ANYTHING BUT DRAINING YOUR MONEY!! DID YOU NOT HEAR ME LAST NIGHT???

[greeneyes]

30 days ???

And what do you mean "wonder if" ? NO MORE DOUBTING!!! :l Humph!!

[more2life]

30 days ???

Why are you giving Mike shit? Make Mike give you the money and you can take care of the bills. Geezzz... how much is an apartment in Tallahassee?

[more2life]

30 days ???

MA-

I just checked craigslist and there are loads of rooms listed for $300-$500 a month. Let asswipe have the house. Move out and move on girlfriend. Mike doesn't deserve to have you the house. Let him take care of it.

[greeneyes]

30 days ???

Wait more2...... let her lawyer look over her circumstances and lay out options.

MA, before you talk to your lawyer again, write down all the specific questions you have and number them. Then take notes when you talk so you don't forget and it will help you stay focused. You can't be having conversations with her and be distracted and distraught. You are in control here and going on with reclaiming your power and your life!!

[cowgal]

30 days ???

Haven't

I haven't given him $$ yet, told him I have to wait til next paycheck, next Fri... .... But have to have$500 for lawyer by 25th too..... Writing a list already, I just have $$ to put for deposit first & last month rent. Looking to spend that much$ a month, looking into a condo, may as well invest..... Instead of dumping into rent, ran into friend at gym, he is a realtor, said he will look for a good place for me and give me a call, trust him, known him for years from aa.....

Just thinking ahead, I know this is a good thing, ready to dissolve 401k if that is what it takes, to be free....... Yay, greenie, heard what you said good and clear, he just keeps hounding me, bugs me, cannot wait to talk to lawyer, told him he may have to borrow $$ from his dad......Hell, he's a millionaire.......

Thx for the counseling session, I am still tired & not thinking straight, this schedule f-s me way up, feel like I am losing it, or is that stress or old age...... I worry about alzheimers, don't laugh, seen enough of it, exactly NOT how I want to go!!!!!

MA