January: Just Do It! ~ AF ~ Week 1

[redhibiscus]

January: Just Do It! ~ AF ~ Week 1

Good morning, it is supposed to start snowing again. We had one day, yesterday, without snow. Wow, what a season.

It was interesting to read about everyone's dashing to the store to buy booze. I too had a weird ritual, but I would call my husband first, OK it with him, then go and buy it. I also had the preoccupation with drinking, and worrying that I would have enough to drink, but not too much. IN the end, it was always too much, and I woke up feeling horrible always.

Yesterday, I started thinking about alcohol in the afternoon and pushed the thoughts out of my head. I was acutally mad that thoughts were bothering me. I do not want to drink. Period. I felt kind of depressed last night and empty too. In the past, alcohol would have filled that empty place, temporarily. NOthing bad happened, I actually had a fulfilling day. I worked through it and slept well, so made it through another day. I am left questioning reasons this pattern constantly occurs. Habit, trained my brain, the monster of addiction? I don't know.

The honesty discussion was very insightful to me. I too try to be honest in all areas of my life, but the booze part was a huge lie. I know I've discussed this before, and it really bothered me. It interferred with my spiritual beliefs and I felt alcohol was controlling me, becoming more important than anything. Scary. Luckily, I found this site and began to cut back, make changes, and lessen the importance of alcohol. No, I was searching for something, because I was becoming desperate, sick and tired of being hung over and ashamed.

Everyone, dill, lavande, lilmea, mm, sd, cyntree, peanut, lodes, sooty, openheart, mandalay, miss october, and all others, welcome and have a great AF day. Today, I commit to being AF.:h

[lilmea]

January: Just Do It! ~ AF ~ Week 1

Busy thread. Just a quick check in.

Cyn-My doc recommended what he called a hot yoga class. Have you heard of it? You do yoga in a really hot room and it's suppose to give longer relief for your back. I haven't been able to find one around my small town.

MM-Glad you are making it through your first work week. Do you mind if I ask what you do?

Lod-It is sad/funny some of the hoops we jump through to hid our drinking. Even from ourselves. :l

I see how the alc was eroding my core value of honesty

Open-So true. Al just seems to sneek in and steal away everything even our values. But we can get those back.

Have a great day everyone. Stay safe and warm.

[lilmea]

January: Just Do It! ~ AF ~ Week 1

Hi Red-cross post

[dill]

January: Just Do It! ~ AF ~ Week 1

Welcome to you, Miss October!:welcome:

Good day to you, Cap'n Sooty! Did you say you were going to Pilate's or Pilot's class? I just wondered because I should think one would need a bit of training to pilot this Magic Carpet of ours! I'm putting in a request for Austrailia. I've always wanted to go there and see the outback, and that way we could meet Mandalay and then all fly together to someplace exotic (in the Southern hemisphere). Oh, and, I take my tree down on Christmas Eve. I was unaware of the January 6th tradition, but it makes sense.

Openheart, I had already forgotten my efforts at keeping the "public" bottle at an "acceptable level"!:H I know I shouldn't laugh, as it is despicable behavior, but sometimes, it's either laugh or cry, and I don't want to cry.

LBH: I have undergone eye surgery and it is not pleasant, but I have not regretted it for a moment. The process is a HUGE practice in the art of surrender, though. Keep us posted.

MM, I am not one bit surprised that you are capable of thinking!!! I'm glad you are back in the work force and that you are not having too terrible of a time fighting demon cravings.

Yesterday, I started thinking about alcohol in the afternoon and pushed the thoughts out of my head. I was acutally mad that thoughts were bothering me. I do not want to drink. Period. I felt kind of depressed last night and empty too. In the past, alcohol would have filled that empty place, temporarily. NOthing bad happened, I actually had a fulfilling day. I worked through it and slept well, so made it through another day. I am left questioning reasons this pattern constantly occurs. Habit, trained my brain, the monster of addiction? I don't know.

Ditto for me, Red. You took the words right out of my mouth!. But, in addition, I went through the drive through after work! (A place you can drive through in your car and buy beer, wine and softdrinks) Lord knows how I managed to roll down my window and say to the attendent, "Uh, I guess I don't need anything after all." Sheesh! Old habits die hard, as they say.

SD, I hope you made it home from school safely yesterday in the stormy weather. One of my greatest fears is getting snowed in at work and having to spend the night! What a nightmare that would be!

Pnut, keep on running!

Out of time! I have to get ready for work. We have bad weather coming in later this morning and through the night. Should be an adventure getting home from work today for lots of us here in the midwest!

Lil, Lav, Cyn, Lode, Sped and all others, strength to you!

[Lavande]

January: Just Do It! ~ AF ~ Week 1

Morning all!

The sun, the sun
It probably won't last long today but I'm glad to see it! I could just feel my mood dropping like a stone yesterday. I typically do not like the months of January & February primarily because of the darkness!!

Wishing you safe travel today Dill, pack a bag in case you get stuck at work! I used to get stuck at the hospital all the time - it always annoyed me that some people didn't even try to get to work when there was a little bit of snow on the ground. Somehow or another I always got there!! It's supposed to be snowing tomorrow morning here in these parts.

Hope everyone has a good AF Thursday, I'll check in later
Lav

[savon19]

January: Just Do It! ~ AF ~ Week 1

Just a comment on MM's post:

"alcohol would have filled that empty place, temporarily"

This is Such a good thing to realize. That AL is only a "temporary" fix. With time, we will find other, more Positive ways to fill that place!!



1 Month on Sat. I will make that. Then... onward & forward.

Hope all have a great day!!

[spedteach]

January: Just Do It! ~ AF ~ Week 1

Good morning,
Red, thanks for your heart felt post, some afternoons get very long.
Dill, oh my gosh, a drive up window. They used to have those in NM. Good job getting out of those deep waters.
I dreamed I drank last night. Two glasses of wine. I was going to lie about it to everyone except the wine made me really drunk. Fragments coming back to me. My husband told me to go to an AA meeting. I put down earnest $ on a house I did not want. I had drunken conversations with several of my neighbors. And my oldest son for some reason had just gotten out of jail and was extremely angry with me. Yuk, yuk, yuk, what a relief to wake up. Went running to clear my head.
Pnut, I love Born to Run. Two of my sons are marathon runners and for the past 2 years primarily run barefoot with great race results.
Have a good day everyone. LBH, be brave. It's hard to be a patient, to relinquish that control.
Hey, send some weather out here!
Shelley

[cyntree]

January: Just Do It! ~ AF ~ Week 1

Morning! Ugh, this weather - I worry about all of you - please be careful driving, take your emergency kits with you, and I wish you safe home at the end of the day.

Open - beautiful post about honesty and integrity. I feel that mine got so severly eroded, that I am working very hard on building new habits. This thread has been a life-line for me in that way, a place to always be honest (hard as it is sometimes). My family heritage wasn't so much about drinking as it was about the absolute necessity of Secrecy...so I'm learning new behavior on a lot of levels. Lode - your story made me laugh!

Red - great setting out of intention. I join you - today a am AF. Dill - was is yesterday that you drove through? I love the image of you saying that you don't 'need anything' - hey, not from them anyway, - how true is that! If I ever find myself in that place again (god willing never) I will just keep saying that I don't need anything from them. Drive Through, and on to Freedom.

Lil - thanks for the hot yoga idea. I have also heard that it helps, but until I get my own personal 'heat' under control, I can't quite imagine putting myself in more 'sweatiness'! The arthritis is the main reason that I'm joining Lav in the gluten and dairy free diet. Less inflammation, less pain. I do like the idea of the detox aspect of hot yoga, though, so I'm keeping it in mind.

Miss O - I saw you online - how are you doing? Savon - great job this month - keep walking the path, you'll get to your goal.

To everyone, here and yet to visit - I wish you warmth, safety, and an AF day --

[cyntree]

January: Just Do It! ~ AF ~ Week 1

Hey Sped - cross-post! Yesterday morning I had a dream that above my bathroom lights (!) there was a shelf of those tiny liquor bottles, all lined up and ready to drink. And in the dream, I was really wavering, and I thought about my committment, and I actually thought about this thread in the dream, and.....I woke up before I drank anything. whew. I think those dreams are 'clearing out' dreams - getting rid of the past, or a great reminder of 'why not' to.

A running family? Amazing....

[Miss October]

January: Just Do It! ~ AF ~ Week 1

Hi Everyone ! Thanks so much for the warm welcome. I've been trying to read this entire thread this morning before I posted. It sure took some time.

Cyntree, thanks for asking. I'm doing good today. Last night I was a little cranky at dinner/witching hour, but pulled through and had a great evening watching TV with my 14 year old.....and I remember it all......no cloud of alcohol over me last night.

Pnut I like to run too. I run 3 times a week on the treadmill now that it is cold outside. After I get rid of the poison in my system, I plan on increasing the intensity and duration of my runs. I also cross train by cycling twice a week. It's a great combo.

Lav, I'm one of those people who don't try to get to work if it snows. The drivers here in New Jersey just don't get it that they have to slow down in bad weather. It is not worth the risk.

I'm thinking of a new strategy this time around...instead of ODAT, I'm going for One Month At A Time. Why think about it every day and have to make a choice....every single day. I'll just make the choice once a month. This way every day I wake up this month, I don't have to think about it. As the thread states: JUST DO IT !!

SOBER DAY AND EVENING TO ALL :l

P.S. sorry for not responding to everyone....need to be here longer to remember who's who I think I'll jump back in later too.

[ladybirdheart]

January: Just Do It! ~ AF ~ Week 1

Wow Cyn, shoulder high lupines, I did not know they ever grew that tall (unless you are really little), what a beautiful image. Where in New Zealand was this? My warming thoughts to everybody living in the giant deep freezer; I have to remember, Lav, every day in January and February has just a bit more daylight than the one before. The image of you as a ?slightly used? nurse is really funny. Thank you Open and Red for your thoughtful posts about filling the space with alcohol, I have always felt incomplete, not in the good sense of a work in progress, but more deficient, lacking, partial, and alcohol temporarily seemed to color something happy-like in that space, at least before I took it too far and filled it (and more) with addiction. Lode, I laughed gratefully about your solitary cover-up; most of my life I have lived alone and I understand how careful and self-conscious one can be anyway, too many mirrors or something. MM, enjoy your new mastery, coffee cup in that little fist, off to work! Welcome Miss O, it is good to take the pressure off yourself as to whether this will be an AF day or not, I think a big lesson here is for each of us to find what personally is effective, there is a general framework and support but we each have to find what works empirically. Deciding to put myself out there on a serious monthly abstinence thread was one thing that really helped me. Hi, Dill, keep on driving through with ?never mind?. Hi Sped. Hi Sooty. Hi all. Bikram Yoga, Lil, we have a couple of studios in my town, it is supposed to be transforming if you can tolerate it and don't die; it tends to be a big commitment financially and time wise but I have heard it can heal what ails you and more. Love, Ladybird.

[sooty]

January: Just Do It! ~ AF ~ Week 1

I've tried growing lupins several times but the slugs love them so I've given up. Shoulder high ones sound fantastic.
Still really cold here, roads clear but pavements are like skating rinks. I was bashing the ice with a hammer outside my house today just to try and break it so i could sweep it away! Good exercise though.
Dill it was pilates of course - I am a fully qualified pilot of every single craft - magic or otherwise so don't worry, just hold on!!!
Miss O I love your attitude - and you are right just don't think about drinking for January.
First thought tomorrow - what's the date - oh its 8th January I don't drink in January!!!
SIMPLE
Have you tried looking at the Rational Recovery Site - you might identify with that. I look at it from time to time to give myself a boost.
To Lav, Cyn, Ladybird, MM, Lode, Red, Open, Sped, Lil, SD,Pnut, Savon and anyone I've missed (the old memory's not wot it was) hope the rest of Thursday is safe and sober.
See you all tomorrow
Sooty

[mandalay]

January: Just Do It! ~ AF ~ Week 1

Hi all

Still hanging in here, great to see everyone and to hear of the successes. Well done! Yes, Lavande, I am here Down Under so while most of you are suffering the terrible snow, I am baking here and feeling guilty (and so glad I don't have to deal with it anymore!). I am beginning to feel a lot healthier, the whites of my eyes are acually white not yellowish and bloodshot, not seen them like that for ages. I don't know how long it takes to completely detoxify from all this damage I have done. Does anyone else know? And how to help myself? I am taking quite a few supplements - vitamins and minerals, extra B vitamin B, and lots of zinc, magnesium and calcium. I still can't get B1 by itself, but I've got a good quality high strength general B vitamin mix so that is going to have to do. Also taking L Glut, a general mix tablet of amino acids, and milk thistle. I have decided to wait and see how I go before ordering Kudzu. I take valerian for sleep. I am just looking now at starting a proper eating plan to try to undo some of the ravages that alcohol has wreaked upon my poor body.

Now that the weekend is here it's probably going to be my most testing time - last weekend was great as I was in the 'first flush of success' but now everything is back to the same old same old, so I think this weekend may be more of a challenge as I have to get back into the old routine but this time with the absence of AL.

Hope everyone has a peaceful day, thinking of you all!

Mandalay

[cyntree]

January: Just Do It! ~ AF ~ Week 1

Evening all!
Mandalay - good for you for treating yourself so well. Don't worry about the B1, I've read that it's best to take all the Bs in combo, so you sound like you're on the right track. I found that eating well, and getting interested again in food and cooking, has been one of the great joys of an AF life. This group has great recipes to share.

Speaking of cooking- LBH how are you doing with the 'cooking hour' devils? Last night I had an interesting experience while cooking... I became fascinated by the fragrance of the olive oil, the glisteny way it made the linguine look, the way the sauce cooked down. I had to slap myself around a little to get the dinner table set. RE; Lupines, yes, I am a regular-ish size person, so the lupines were enormous. We were supposed to just trample them down on the way to the stream, but they seemed like magical beings to me, and I was trying to work my way around them - not very successfully, as they were packed petal to petal...this was on the South Island somewhere...

Miss O - a monthly goal is fabulous. I'm trying to get on the Drink Tracker so that I can see my 0s adding up, but somehow it's not letting me log on. So anyway, happy month of zeros (or as Sooty would say 'zeds') to you!

Must go tonight to a party where there will be lots of wine flowing. I feel strong, and so far indifferent. Let's see, it's January, and I don't drink in January....

Wishing all a great AF night -

[Lavande]

January: Just Do It! ~ AF ~ Week 1

Evening all,

Hunkering down for the next snowstorm but it's not supposed to be too much. We still have snow hanging around from the Dec. 19th birthday blizzard.........

Mandalay - always keep your eye on the goal! My goal is to be AF everday regardless if it's a Saturday or Sunday! I don't worry about what day it is - I want to be AF everday!

Miss O, if you feel better with a monthly goal then go for it - good for you

Cyn, Lil & everyone else with arthritic aches & pains - I really do feel better eliminating glutens & dairy products. And, at least for me.....only a very small amount of chicken or fish from time to time.....just feel better when I don't eat meat. Now that talk about hot yoga......NO WAY! I cannot tolerate heat in any way, shape or form. I wouldn't even let the haircutter blow dry my hair this morning
25 years ago my Mom got hot wax treatments in physical therapy for pain relief her rheumatoid afflicted joints. It only gave her very temporary relief. Hope I never get to that point.......

I've been having some very intense dreams lately too - I think they are a good way to clear the BS out of your head!!!

Wishing everyone a warm, safe night!
Be well.
Lav