January: Just Do It! ~ AF ~ Week 1

[lodestar]

January: Just Do It! ~ AF ~ Week 1

Good morning friends! A bright morning here and I think I'm actually gonna get out of the house after the day of carbs & slothing around. Eh, Jan 1 is what it is and I have to say, I'm glad to see it go.

Lil ~ thanks for the link from Abbers. It is a good one and I hope we are all at that change in focus point (if not already) soon.

Shelley ~ Yeah, if my car would have started, I might have made that drive. Good for you on the Antabuse! Hope your son's interviews go well.

Savon ~ Congrats on 3 weeks and welcome!

Lav & MM ~ Stay warm! I was around your neck of the woods recently MM and it was frigid there!

Mau ~ You sound very committed. Great job!

Openheart ~ I remember that song from camp too. We had one called "fried ham" also that was hilarious. None of that in the new year for me either! Blech.

Hart ~ Glad you are feeling better today and well done on 2 days!

I'm off to get out in the world, I think. I'm reading that Allan Carr book on the Easy Way to quit smoking...gonna need some Lavanitude for that one, but I figure if Lav can, I can too. Protecting my sobriety first though. We shall see...

[MauMcL]

January: Just Do It! ~ AF ~ Week 1

Interesting-

It's only day #1 and I can feel the devil play his mind games already...When I give you guys my "story" it will make sense. I will do that soon. For now, how do you guys "cope" with that? Had I not made this decision yesterday to give up alcohol, beginning with the next 30 days, this thought would probably not be racing around my mind...Is this the nature of addiction? I guess what I am saying is before this "decision" I'd probably have no desire to drink at all for the next 5 days or so...Until the weekend, when all Hell breaks loose and I vent all of my stress in one night via alcohol...Then feel sick and shitty about myself.

I'm doing things like thinking, "Well so-and-so drinks and she gets wasted, and she seems perfectly fine..." IT'S NOT ABOUT THAT! This is about me, right? I am not perfectly fine about it! Therefore, I must take the "steps" to change this behavior. *Sigh. Am I making any sense? I have a friend who is a long-time AA'er and she said that quantity doesn't matter...It could be one drink a month...But if that one drink makes you feel badly about yourself then it is a problem. This morning as I was taking down the decorations the devil was wrestling with me. BUT I AM OK. I am not going to drink...I don't want you all thinking I've lost my resolve...ALREADY

Peace, Love & Sobriety to all who are seeking it!

[mighty mouse]

January: Just Do It! ~ AF ~ Week 1

Mau, Don't be so hard on yourself. You are just starting out and this journey takes a lot of learning. We are all different. You need to figure out what will be right for you. It just seems that the more success we all accumulate the more we see a light that we want to get to. Some on this thread are there and they are helping us along but they also show me how much they cherish and are protecting their sobriety.

Opps sorry all to get so deep but I was cleaning my bedroom, which has become the dumping ground over the holidays and found a bottle of wine..opened it had a glass and dumped it all. It is quiet in home today and I used to celebrate the calm with me and wine. Strong trigger!! So came back on line to celebrate the calm with you.

Some days are so easy and others not...but glad I dumped. MM

[mighty mouse]

January: Just Do It! ~ AF ~ Week 1

Hi Sooty, If you pop in today wanted to say hi!! I seem to miss you alot with the time difference but you are in my thoughts

[redhibiscus]

January: Just Do It! ~ AF ~ Week 1

MauMcl, the cravvy thinking you are talking about is common to all of us. When I wake up in the middle of the night, anxious, sweaty, guilty, ashamed, it is clear as day. I do not want to drink. As the day goes on, and I feel better (or not) I will think all kinds of thoughts, justifying reasons to drink, minimizing the shame....forgetting about my tortured night. That is the addiction talking. What is our rock bottom? I have never been arrested or hospitalized, yet. What will it take. Because we know that the road we are on is leading us to ill health, lost relationships, and emotional distress, but we still try and rationalize reasons to drink. I don't think you have lost your resolve, and I think it is good that you wrote down your thoughts, it really helps me to see that your drinking thinking is similar to the way I think.

Another day at home. I am still fighting this cold, I just need time to get over it. The cold snowy weather is not helping. I exercised today and I am trying to eat healthy and not as much. Tomorrow I will be back out in the world, so had better feel better.

Today I commit to being AF.

[openheart]

January: Just Do It! ~ AF ~ Week 1

Way to go for dumping the wine, MM! I'm not letting myself out of the house today cuz I don't want to be tempted and have to fight the battle of not stopping somewhere. If I stumbled on something in my safe place, that would be TOUGH!
Whew--you inspire me!
Openheart

[mighty mouse]

January: Just Do It! ~ AF ~ Week 1

Hi OH, Red and all, I just read a great thread started by Chillgirl called Quote of the day. It is in general discussions. A must see.

Thanks for the support open. :l MM

[lodestar]

January: Just Do It! ~ AF ~ Week 1

Mau ~ Please don't worry about what we think about your resolve...YOU are doing great by posting and asking for support! We are all here for you. I stayed really close to the boards when I first stopped and it made me feel better because someone could always relate. I know what you mean about it consuming your thoughts after making a commitment...do not worry. That is perfectly natural. Sounds like you are reflective about your relationship to alcohol and that is a very good thing.

MM ~ Excellent job getting rid of the wine and keeping it real!

Open ~ Hang on in there and good job taking carra you!

I just finished Allan Carr's smoking book and am taking the plunge to be NF. I can't believe I'm saying that, but I found myself itching to finish the book today and stop making excuses. Here goes nothing!

[sdlovespackers]

January: Just Do It! ~ AF ~ Week 1

HI ALL!!

Wow!! Another VERY fast moving thread!!! I have such a hard time keeping up and everyone straight...lol!! It's so great to see and hear so many new stories and perspectives on this battle! Lodestar--your post the other...oh how I could relate....it was like reading what my brain goes through that I only thought I could only hear!!:H If that made sense?!

I got up to let the dog out this morning NEGATIVE 20 DEGREES (that wasn't even the wind chill!!) I didn't leave the house yesterday....I HAVE TO today to get some groceries before I get my son back tomorrow!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! I HATE IT when he's not with me!! But BRRRRRRR!!!!!

Sorry for not addressing everyone...I'm going to do the unthinkable....try to clean my son's room!!!!!! And at least get the tree taken down before a force myself into the blustery world in which I live!!!

Wishing everyone a wonderful, af Saturday!!! JUST DO IT!!
SD:l

[savon19]

January: Just Do It! ~ AF ~ Week 1

Hey Lodestar - had to just pop back in to say BRAVO on "taking the plunge to be AF"!!

I read the Allan Carr book, too. Very great book to put it all in perspective. I also had to almost Force myself to finish book before quitting. That was back in early Aug. I was doing great for more than a month, when I went to a party... and had "JUST ONE". Needless to say, went right back to smoking. And it took almost 4 months to give it another go.

I just told someone else about www.quitnet.com - it's a site like this but for quitting cigs. It's a Very active site, especially the chat. It Always has people in there, even in middle of night - which has come in handy for sleepless nights. Good way to keep hands busy!

Anyway, just wanted to wish you LUCK with that. And to let you know... I feel your Pain! LOL. But, as is usually the case, the Anticipation is worse than the Doing.

[dill]

January: Just Do It! ~ AF ~ Week 1

Hi All! A very late check in for me as I have had an unusually busy day. The afternoon found me sitting at a wedding shower. That activity really took up my whole afternoon as it was quite a distance, and the shower lasted almost 3 hours. "Would you like something to drink? A soft drink? A mimosa?" Oh, I'll just have a soft drink, thank you.

Hart it will be good to say more than one word at a time with you!

MM, have you tried to get into chat yet? Maybe you just need to update your internet browser. I couldn't get into chat with my internet explorer browser during our "party". Today I checked for an update and installed it. Now I am able to get on chat. Your kids might be able to help you update your browser. You wouldn't have to tell them why.

:welcome: Welcome Happy Days, MauMc and Openheart, I look forward to getting to know you!

Hi Red, Savvy, SD, Lode, Sped, Lil, Lav and LBH. Sorry this is so brief. I am zonked!

[MauMcL]

January: Just Do It! ~ AF ~ Week 1

Hope You Are All Doing Well~

This evening and sending strength, prayers, and good wishes your way.

Thanks for all the support. It is helping enormously.

[ladybirdheart]

January: Just Do It! ~ AF ~ Week 1

Good going Dill. The way I was raised, a wedding shower was just portal to putting on a pretty dress and getting hammered on a vat of sherry. Glad that you found us, Savvy, in our new spot in General, and welcome to everybody recently joining in here, Mau, Hart, Openheart, and everybody else thinking about it. It doesn?t really matter why or how we got into this mess, we may never know even our own whole story, but we each need to figure out how not to drink anyway.

If anybody is need of real life comic relief, Lord Bird Heart and I ran an errand today in which we purchased coveralls and various cables and connectors so he could crawl (I am not making this up) under our old house for the purpose of installing a small used TV for our parrot. Try explaining that with a straight face. She is a very smart African Gray in her mid twenties and we think she needs a bit of boost since her two older Amazon parrot friends died during the past year. I can already envision Lord Birdheart?s wheels turning, designing a remote, maybe adding a microwave, a little recliner. And no, he is not drinking, he has been sober for twenty years, he?s just cool. Hi Cyn, Shelley, Lodestar, SD, MM, Red, Lav, and Lil. Love, Ladybird.

[cyntree]

January: Just Do It! ~ AF ~ Week 1

Holy Moly Rocky! What a fast moving thread. I just gave myself the treat of deeply reading everyone's post since my early morning one yesterday. What riches - I ditto all LStar in thanking you for your post, it really meant a lot to read. Yesterday I started the day off well, opened last presents with family, but shortly afterward felt the dive into a bad cold. Had to hunker down and fight it off. Thanks to Oil of Oregano and tea and hot baths I'm feeling much better today.

Welcome: Open (love the Mary Oliver quote), Savon, Hart, and Mau - I look forward to all your posts. Mau - the first time I seriously gave myself the challenge of 30 days, my life was 'one minute at a time', not ODAT. Hang in there - it does get easier. One day you will realize that you've gone a few hours with no thoughts of alc. It will be a thrill.

LBH - I had a big chuckle at your silent auction story! I have to agree that the frame really sounded like it was worth it. Dill once again, great quote, and so timely - what a wonderful 'north star' of words for our 2010 journey. Sped, what a geat Mom you are! Can a person truly download Jane Austen to listen to on a walk?! MM - sorry that this season has made you feel the loss of your mother so keenly. But thanks for posting, it made me appreciate my time with my Mom even more than usual. Also, great job on the pouring out of the poison! Hope I haven't missed anyone or mixed up your stories...Sooty, sending you love for when you awaken.

While reading LStar's reply about 'turning a corner', it occured to me that what we are doing is a little like walking a Labyrinth. Does anyone know about them? They are different than a maze, which is constructed to make it hard to get out of. A labyrinth looks like you would never get anywhere, but if you just keep following the path, putting one foot in front of the other, you magically arrive at the center, and then you retrace your steps. It is supposedly a sort of a walking meditation. Rather than thinking about turning the one and only corner, maybe it's about committing ourselves to walking the path, and not to trying to look too far ahead.

OK - enough philosophy! I'm off to have some of the chicken soup that I made for myself yesterday (first time ever from scratch!).

Blessings on everyone -

[Lavande]

January: Just Do It! ~ AF ~ Week 1

Good evening to this huge & busy group!

I'm kind of running on empty tonight but wanted to say hello. Sounds like we are all facing the trials & tribulations of an AF life with tremendous group strength It really helps, doesn't it?

MM, good decision to dump the wine - it would be so easy to fall back into old habits......you don't want to do that at this point!

Dill, a soft drink won't have you waking up feeling anxious, will it? Good for you too

I wish I could address everyone individually tonight but I think I may already be asleep.......
Wishing all my AF & NF friends a warm & cozy evening!
Oh & Cyn - following the path of the Labyrinth, a walking meditation - you've definitely got something there!

And Dill - before I forget again.......We cut the cherry tomatoes in half before putting them in the dehydrator. We haven't used it that much yet but I imagine most things will need to be sliced, diced or something of that nature!

Good night all!
Lav