January: Just Do It! ~ AF ~ Week 1

[lodestar]

January: Just Do It! ~ AF ~ Week 1

Good morning, friends. Happy Sunday...I'm losing track of the days. Must get back to work!

A big :welcome: to Sky...glad to meet you. Red, I can think of so many things that make AFness great, especially the letting go of guilt and shame and the reduced anxiety. Like so many here, the further I get into AFness, the more afraid I become to try moderation. It just doesn't seem worth it. I hope that feeling continues to grow.

In terms of moving to monthly abs, that is fine with me. It might have scared me to join an abs thread a couple of months ago though, to be honest. I feel like I fit in here though, due to knowing you all, so I don't care where we go. I will follow.

Shelley, sorry you're feeling blue and please don't ever hesitate to bring up these issues. I read this book by Barbara Ehrenreich (sp?) called "Bright-sided" and it is basically about society pushing looking on the bright side. She even experienced this in an online breast cancer support group. I think it is important to discuss where we are really at and what we are really experiencing and receive support for that. Your talk about the blues helps me to feel more normal about mine ~ the past couple of days have been a bit of a challenge on and off. While I don't have an empty nest (no kids), I miss my sister, niece & nephew tremendously after the holiday with them. :upset: Sending you loads of :l

Hey there Sooty and "no excess" drinking is brilliant. Way to get back on board right away! Let's follow Cyn "to the light", eh ~ love that tagline, Cyn

Lil, I have no doubt you can navigate that 6 month mark with style and grace. You are an inspiration to have done 5 months and then another!

Greetings LBH, MM, Lav & to anyone I might have missed & all who pop in today. I am off to the gym before major workiness today.

[Peanut]

January: Just Do It! ~ AF ~ Week 1

Greeting to everyone and Happy New Year. I know - I'm a bit late! But thanks to Dill, I have found you all again. I haven't had time to read through this whole thread - it's pretty long considering it is only January 3. But now the holidays are winding down, I am winding up for a good long stretch of AF days, and will need all the help I can get. I have pulled out all the supps, and see that I need some more L-Glut and some Evening Primrose, plus a good multi-vitamin, but I have enough to start with. I think it will help, as I have been pretty poorly behaved lately, in terms of Al usage. Plus, our sleep schedule is so whacky - we've been sleeping until noon or even 1pm every day, and up super late at night, watching movies and doing puzzles. Back to work tomorrow though, my daughters are back in their cities, my BF's boy goes back to school tomorrow, and my boy needs to find another job. So it's a new start in the new year and I am so looking forward to getting back to normal and feeling good.

I'm off to the pool in a bit - must clear my lungs and work off some of the chocolate and cookies and calories calories calories that I've imbibed - I'm sure you all know the story!

So here's to 2010!!! Happy to be back and I will read through and see what everyone is up to when I get back home.
Love to all!!!
xoxoxo peanut

[mighty mouse]

January: Just Do It! ~ AF ~ Week 1

Afternoon all,
Wanted to pop in and say big hello to sooty I too was the big chief and I'm glad to have it done.

Peanut, Happy to have you back. We are all looking forward to getting this 2010 going.

Starting a new job tomorrow, very nervous but can't wait to get it started and get out of this house. I will have a lot less time to post. I hope I can still keep up with everyone.

Dill I think I was on chat this morning when I used the main computer. This lap top still won't do it.

Love to all, MM

[dill]

January: Just Do It! ~ AF ~ Week 1

I haven't figured out chat yet. We might have it off of our settings when we set this computer up because of the kids? And no one knows I'm on this site so hard to ask questions. Does your husband know you are on here? Mine doesn't I haven't wanted to tell him either. Mighty, For many months my HB didn’t know I was on this site. But sometime during the summer I got around to telling him. It was a big deal to me at the time, but I got through it. I told him because I developed a friendship "off-site" with a member which involved occasional phone calls. I felt I needed to explain who I was talking to suddenly out of the blue! Although we don’t talk about my problem openly, he knows I am working on it and that this site is helping.

That's good that you can get in chat on your desk top computer! And best wishes for you on your new job! Let us know how your first day goes.

Cyn, I am intriqued you you discussion of labyrinths, and LBH, that term "monkey mind" is just perfect! It is so nice when you can clear some of it from your head and find the stillness within.

Pnut and Sooty! So glad you two posted! I think we all want to get back to a routine so we can feel more control over things.

In terms of moving to monthly abs, that is fine with me. It might have scared me to join an abs thread a couple of months ago though, to be honest. I feel like I fit in here though, due to knowing you all, so I don't care where we go. I will follow.

Lode, that is exactly how I feel about it!

Shelley, I hope you can shake off the blues. I completely understand the let down feelings you are going through though. I hope you got exercise and chased those blue demons away!

The Cleveland Browns played really well today, and instead of drinking, I watched some of the game. Not all of it, as I can't sit still that long! I have too much to do today, housework and laundry, you know!

[mighty mouse]

January: Just Do It! ~ AF ~ Week 1

Hi Dill, Guess what. I'm on the lap top and used a different server to get online and now can do chat with this one. Proud of myself. Thanks for answering, I did tell hubby I was on a site for people who have had challenging lives just so he would give me space and not think I was going to cheat on him or anything.. Will tell him more in the future, once I have more time under my belt. My husband sounds a bit like yours. he rarely drinks and is not very critical of me. would probably just say. oh...ok

Hi and Bye again, wishing everyone an AF evening MM

[spedteach]

January: Just Do It! ~ AF ~ Week 1

Made thru the day. That's sounds terrible, just getting thru the day but sometimes that's all I can do. And I owe a big thank you to Buddha, my bike and Jane Austen. And to all of you. Reading thru the posts of the day made me feel very supported.
Have been meditating for about 6 months. Sometimes in a group, sometimes alone. It's been a big part of my sobriety. It did not come easy though. You really have to practice. One meditation teacher told me if you decide to take up running, you don't start out running a marathon. I had monkey mind going full throttle. Meditation has helped shut those little fellas up, at least for a while.
Sooty and MM, sometimes I felt like a short order cook during the holidays. Drove me a little crazy except I do love feeding hungry young men.
LBH, I'm almost sure we're in the same city! Yum! Curry. I love Thai more than Indian.
Later. Thanks and hugs.
Shelley

[Lavande]

January: Just Do It! ~ AF ~ Week 1

Hi Folks,

It sure has been a busy day on this thread
Had a busy day myself, to my daughter's house & back. We managed to squeeze a little shopping in - left the guys to deal with the drywall dust - it kills our allergies!! We're probably running back there Tuesday after work for just a tad more work......then it should be done. The house is looking good, should sell fairly quickly!

cyn, I like the fact that we are all here on this thread because 'we can change something'. We've chosen to do it together - just like 'real friends'.

Shelley, I love interacting with my adult kids. After all this time & all the BS we are still friends & I love that. I am one person that will never like the empty nest! A lot of it has to do with a spouse who has managed to never really be present thru 36 years of marriage.........there's not a damn thing I can do about that! He's still being controlled by his childhood traumas & dramas. He thinks he's happy the way he is - I don't!

Dill, MM, Sooty, LBH, & Lodestar - hope you all had a good day! Pnut, welcome back! We missed you

Have a good night everyone, tomorrow we go back to our usual (safe & omfortable) routines
Lav

[ladybirdheart]

January: Just Do It! ~ AF ~ Week 1

It sounds like we each got through whatever we needed to today, and tomorrow things go back to whatever is more ordinary for us, our structure and routine apart from the long holiday events. The days are getting longer, however imperceptibly. I have an ongoing fantasy about laying flat out on the warm ground. Sweet dreams from here. Love, LB.

[openheart]

January: Just Do It! ~ AF ~ Week 1

Hi All--just checking in before I head off to bed. Reading everyone's posts is very comforting. Kinda like wrapping myself in a warm down blanket with the thought of the wind and cold and snow howling outside--but am toasty and safe here!

Red--It really struck a chord w/ me when you wrote about it being normal to live AF--I do so long for that.
Sped--I hear you about just getting through the day and it doesn't sound terrible--it sounds encouraging! I think sometimes those little voices in our head can be so harsh and cruel--here we are--just plugging along, trying to do our best and not relent to the craving, and that voice in our head criticizes us in some way. Some how making us feel like we didn't do enough or it wasn't good enough--even if we were AF the whole day! Whew!
LBH--I LOVE John Prine! Some of his lines really catch me. And the story about entertaining your parrot was priceless--thanks for the laugh!
Dill--Can relate to what your husband said to you about not knowing who he was going to be with if you were drinking--along the same lines, my husband has told me he felt like the alc. was my "boyfriend", and I kept choosing to be with my "boyfriend" instead of him. Made it through that bad patch and thankfully on the other side now.
Lodes--really appreciated your description of the battle you had with yourself that night about alc.--you have really helped me in objectifying this challenge by your description. THANK YOU!
Off to bed--goodnight everyone and have a strong day tomorrow--we are all in this together!
:hOpenheart
P.S. I will follow this thread anywhere!

[lodestar]

January: Just Do It! ~ AF ~ Week 1

Oooof, I'm tired tonight. Just popping by to wish you all a peaceful night. I think you are mostly off to sleep before I am. Wherever we are, we sleep under the glow of the same moon. Isn't that a comforting thought?

Sweet pink dreams, dear friends.

[cyntree]

January: Just Do It! ~ AF ~ Week 1

It's 1:00 a.m., so I hope all are having good dreams - the pink kind! Sooty, good morning. Mighty, best wishes on your new job, look forward to hearing about it. Sped - you are a STAR for getting through the day. LBH - I was under the impression that I invented Monkey Mind. Pnut - so good to have you back! Lodes, Dill, Lav, Open, everybody; great to catch up with you.

I have had a long and challenging day (life-wise, not alc-wise, thank goodness). Will have another tomorrow - no routine is the routine for me, and I find it really difficult. Off to another city to work for the next 10 days, but should be able to check in - won't be until late tomorrow, probably.

Wishing you all a great return to 'normal' - keeping my eyes on the prize.

[redhibiscus]

January: Just Do It! ~ AF ~ Week 1

Back to work for me today...and that is alright. I have had two weeks with only a few days of work, that I really needed for me mental health. It is a new year and I am ready to do my best.

Sped, my kids left last week and I felt devastated and yet relieved. I keep missing my son who lives across the country, and don't know when I will see him again. But that is as it should be, they are living their lives, as we have raised independent functioning adults. But is is so hard. I have waves of grief here and there, and just let it wash over me. I am so grateful to have these wonderful people in my life and to have enjoyed them for the holidays. Lots of conflicted feelings. I noticed this when my daughter first visited after college started, the grief process each time she left.

Still fighting this cold, but I had a good day yesterday, and will take cough drops and decongestant to work. It is continuing to snow like crazy here, so a good day to go to work.

I am OK with going to Monthly Abs, it seems appropriate. I really want to get my 30 days AF again and continue to 60, 90, so I am worthy to be on that particular part of this site. So let's go for it in February.

My husband and I sat down yesterday and set personal, home, and financial goals for 2010. We decided that we do want to be AF together. He has been struggling too, and it is so important that we are on the same page. He has healthy issues that make it imperative that he be AF, so a good motivator for both of us. On Saturday, we talked about going out for dinner, and he said, "No, I'm afraid I'll drink." So I just cooked as planned. It was a great relief to me that he was honest and that we are being honest and supportive of each other. I also spoke with my daughter who stated that she does not want to drink, even moderately, every weekend. So she has promised herself to not mention alcohol, as she noticed that she is the one who brings it up in her relationship. It was good to talk about it and know that we all want alcohol to not be part of our lives from here on out.

We can't change the past, only work on today. Today, I will be AF. :hSending strength and hope to all on this thread.:l

[lilmea]

January: Just Do It! ~ AF ~ Week 1

It seems we all made it through the holidays faily intact and that's a good thing.

MM-Good luck to you on your first day at your new job. I imagine you are excited.

Red-Every once and a while I figure out how much $$ I have saved by being af. It really is amazing. It's like a 'reward' in these hard times. good for you having a talk with your HB and daughter. It sounds like you are all working toward the same goal.

Pnut-I have missed you. Glad to see you post.

Cyn-Your work routine is rather hectic isn't it? You seem to travel a lot? At least the holiday part is over with.

That's sounds terrible, just getting thru the day but sometimes that's all I can do.

Sped-For us, sometimes just making it through the day af is a major accomplishment. I consider one of those days very good days as long as I stay af. Good job.

Dill, Lav-My cross post buddies. I know you will be right behind me with your post.

Hi to Open, LHB, Sooty, SD and everyone else.

Have a great, af, first day back to work.

[openheart]

January: Just Do It! ~ AF ~ Week 1

Good Morning everyone--how nice it is to wake up to reading your posts. Have always been a bit of an independent sort, so this is quite new to me!

Feels good to wake up before the alarm after a sleepfilled night--that didn't happen when I was drinking! Come on normal, come on normal!

Cyn--safe traveling wishes to you--I hear you about routines and not having them can be quite stressful--way to go hanging in there! Know that I am thinking of you today and sending you strength!
Red--How encouraging to hear about your open talks with your family--think Mr. Red would join MWO? I'm getting a chuckle thinking of a husband and wife on MWO without knowing eachother's "handle"--could be fun!

Thinking of you all today and it gives me strength and hope to look forward to checking in with you all tonight--after an AF day!
Love and hugs,
Open

[openheart]

January: Just Do It! ~ AF ~ Week 1

Crosspost Lil--you early bird you!