What excuse can I come up with now!!!!!!!

[wwbarb]

I am getting so tired of hearing myself say "I'm almost there - I'm almost ready". I am going to pick a day and start(not today - see what a whimp I am??). I overdid it last night and feel like crap. I didn't even think I had that much! My sleep patterns are irratic and my productivity is zip.

I managed for 42 days with only two drinks. My goal is ultimate moderation. Any words of of encouragement would be greatly appreciated. When I get my stuff together, I'll give some encouragement back!

[wwbarb]

What excuse can I come up with now!!!!!!!

The first weekend was the hardest

Saturday of the first week rolled around, and I remember sitting in my office at home crying because I wanted to go for a drink. Not for the drink, but for the meeting up with friends, being a part of things, etc. When I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself, I put on a workout outfit and went to the gym. I felt so great on Sunday morning!!

Then, along rolled my 50th birthday and everything went to hell. I woke up and couldn't put any pressure on my foot - for a week I thought it was broken. I had been exercising avidly and all of that stopped. Now, I just keep saying to myself - one more day, and I'll get started. "One more day" has turned into 2 and a half weeks.

I started the Kudzu and AllOne again this morning. I am not taking the other supps because I had horrible digestive issues that I will spare you the details of. In my mind I thought, why take them - it's a waste of money if I take them and don't choose to quit drinking. I HATE to waste money. But today I decided that maybe that hate will keep me from not wanting to waste the perfectly good supplements I was taking.

I am also back to listening to the CDs. I bought them used from someone who they didn't work for. If you haven't tried them, I think they were the biggest help to me. But, they don't work if they sit on a shelf! The financial investment more than paid off because I saved so much money for those 42 days. And, I lost 12 pounds to boot.

Ding Dong (I hate calling you that!), Thanks for responding. You've got me giving myself words of encouragement.

:h :h :h

[xtexan]

What excuse can I come up with now!!!!!!!

wwBarb:

I remember learning how to ride a unicycle when I was 18 years old or so.

42 days is time that you were sober, and 42 days of real life.

When I started learning to ride, I was in a place that had two walls close enough that I could put my hands on them to steady myself from side to side. The front to back balance was tough.

I fell down a lot, even though I had the walls.

Think of the program's tools as the walls to steady yourself side to side. They are something to help steady you, and help you get your balance.

After a long time practice, and falling down on the unicycle, I finally got to where I could venture out away from the walls for a bit. Slowly, but surely I got better and better.

I can identify. I spent years getting short runs of sobriety, then fell down hard many times.

Keeping every thing in balance to stay sober is one of those difficult things I am learning to do. Side-to-side, and front-to-back. One thing I learned to do riding the unicyle, was to avoid potholes. They will knock down even the best rider.

Trying to do it all at once, is something I'm still working on. You spend so much time learning your balance, and learning to ride, that one forgets to look ahead for potholes that will knock you down.

42 days means you have the skills to ride and keep balance. It's OK. The wounds take a whille to heal, but I have a thousand scars of learning the hard way. I may yet get another, but I will keep on getting back on the unicycle, because riding it is a blast when you learn how to do it right.

[lushy]

What excuse can I come up with now!!!!!!!

Nicely written, X!!! Makes a lot of sense.....

[fsophiah]

What excuse can I come up with now!!!!!!!

Wow! Cool, X! You ride a unicycle? I love your analogy, and it is holding so true to my own experience.

Barb, you are doing incredibly well. We have been going on parallel tracks since last summer. I also did abs but only for 30 days, and during that time, I didn't take topa. I tried all the supps one at a time, and I discovered, I think, that I'm allergic to kudzu. So as I was anticipating going back to mods, I started taking 25 mg. of topa a day and no kudzu. That's where I'm holding. At no time have I felt like having more than two glasses of wine, and as long as that goes on, I'll keep where I am. I also had moments during my abs of feeling like my life was over. That's the hardest part. But I guess you discovered too, that even that gets easier. I came to the conclusion that some of us don't need that much topa, and just a little, used with hypno and exercise, can get us through. I'm sorry about your foot...still. The down side of working out, I guess.

Sophia

[YoungAtHeart]

What excuse can I come up with now!!!!!!!

Hey Barb!

I think the mind games we can play building up to starting Abs are much worse than Abs themselves. At least it is that way with me. Once I actually start, I feel much more at peace than when I'm torturing myself with whether or not to start. Know what I mean?

Just pick your day, Barb, but not today!! You're not a wimp. You need to give yourself a few days to visualize yourself stopping on that day and getting yourself mentally prepared! Then just do it! You know the drill; you've done it before. You ARE ready. Just stop putting off the prep work, girlfriend!! It's hard to let go, but you're chomping at the bit to get on with ABS. I can feel it!:thumbs:

Hugs,
Kathi:l

[wwbarb]

What excuse can I come up with now!!!!!!!

Neil, all I can say is "WOW". I also lead Weight Watchers meetings, so I know this stuff - I teach this stuff! I keep focusing on starting again instead of it being part of the journey.

Sophia, thanks for your words. Funny, I started the Kudzu today and upped the dose by one pill. My large intestine questioned the wisdom of that move, but nothing I can't handle. Foot still hurts - again, nothing I can't handle.

Kathy, thank you for your sentiments also. It feels so good to be a part of this family. I have started a post several times this week to ask for help but didn't want to be bothersome. Glad I bit the bullet - once I get back on track, I'll give some of it back.

I just bought a new CD player so that I can do the sleep learning portion, which I haven't tried yet. Maybe that will speed things up. I've also made a decision to back off of my intensity of exercise. It's always all or nothing with me and the level I was working out at was not going to be attainable for the rest of my life. And, I ordered more AllOne and Kudzu. I really think I can do this without the Topa.

You guys are wonderful - thank you so much for being there.

[peaches]

What excuse can I come up with now!!!!!!!

If you quit the magnesium supplement the large intestine problem will go away. It did for me.

[YoungAtHeart]

What excuse can I come up with now!!!!!!!

If You Don't Mind....

"I keep focusing on starting again instead of it being part of the journey."

I think that is a great thought, Barb, and I think that I get stuck on "starting again", too. I have to keep reminding myself about the journey, too! I've set my date for Oct 3rd, my daughter's b-day. Tuesdays are always a good day for me to start, cause I don't have much unstructured time, and it also helps me get a few AF days in before facing the dreaded weekend. Wednesdays are also busy days for me, as well, so that will help, too.

Good luck and keep us posted.

Hugs,
Kathy:l

[happycamper68]

What excuse can I come up with now!!!!!!!

X your words are always so wise, and Barb, I really think you are THIS CLOSE!

Good Luck. :l

Bye the way glad the CD's are helping :H