It's not easy to fully let go of our old behaviours and ways of thinking that have in effect served us well in the past. Fear kept me safe from people getting close to the shame I felt around my insecurities as a man. Self pity allowed me to feel loved, albeit superficially through being a 'victim'. Humour and intellect made me feel superior and less worthless (for a while). The list goes on and on.
But how are we to simply cast these aside for new ones that serve to exemplify our true qualities as human beings today? It almost feels like casting the hero into the lions den for me. Letting go of these old ways takes time and in effect these 'heroes' need honouring for the time they did serve us and keep us safe. We cannot remain angry and resentful towards the 'hero' otherwise we are in effect, still in the battle with our hero at the front-line; whilst we are sitting on the hill wishing our hero a timely death. We need to de-commission our hero slowly and become vulnerable and allow our new and emerging strategies and ways space to make themselves known to us so they can become our heroes of today.
I not only grieve for the loss of my substances but the loss of my old beahviours and ways. It is a very deep process in letting go and like any process that takes time. I think of all the years I've wasted in active addiction and my head wants me to make up for all those years NOW. I must allow myself time to heal the wounds before I can start 'living' again.
It was said to me a while back "A year to dry out, A year to sober up and the rest of your life to grow up!" I think this is a great saying and one I try to live by in the sense of giving myself time to adapt and heal.
Sobriety is not a race and we will only grow through the 'experience' of letting go (which only comes with acceptance) and allowing ourselves to be vulnerable in an unfamiliar sober world. Otherwise we will remain in old behaviour repeating the same tried and tested patterns that no longer serve us today. For me that means I will end up drinking again. Insanity defined to the alcoholic is repeating the same pattern of behaviour over and over again but expecting different results (DOH!!!). How many of you are still using the same old tried and tested method you've used only to keep relapsing? Maybe it's time to let go of our old behaviours and wish our heroes a peaceful life without us.
Love and Light
Phil
xx
But how are we to simply cast these aside for new ones that serve to exemplify our true qualities as human beings today? It almost feels like casting the hero into the lions den for me. Letting go of these old ways takes time and in effect these 'heroes' need honouring for the time they did serve us and keep us safe. We cannot remain angry and resentful towards the 'hero' otherwise we are in effect, still in the battle with our hero at the front-line; whilst we are sitting on the hill wishing our hero a timely death. We need to de-commission our hero slowly and become vulnerable and allow our new and emerging strategies and ways space to make themselves known to us so they can become our heroes of today.
I not only grieve for the loss of my substances but the loss of my old beahviours and ways. It is a very deep process in letting go and like any process that takes time. I think of all the years I've wasted in active addiction and my head wants me to make up for all those years NOW. I must allow myself time to heal the wounds before I can start 'living' again.
It was said to me a while back "A year to dry out, A year to sober up and the rest of your life to grow up!" I think this is a great saying and one I try to live by in the sense of giving myself time to adapt and heal.
Sobriety is not a race and we will only grow through the 'experience' of letting go (which only comes with acceptance) and allowing ourselves to be vulnerable in an unfamiliar sober world. Otherwise we will remain in old behaviour repeating the same tried and tested patterns that no longer serve us today. For me that means I will end up drinking again. Insanity defined to the alcoholic is repeating the same pattern of behaviour over and over again but expecting different results (DOH!!!). How many of you are still using the same old tried and tested method you've used only to keep relapsing? Maybe it's time to let go of our old behaviours and wish our heroes a peaceful life without us.
Love and Light
Phil
xx
awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, 
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