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    #1

    As I kissed my son this morning on the cheek....

    to wake him up for school, my first thought was if I don't stop this uncontrolled wine drinking, I may not be around much longer to kiss him on his beautiful face. He won't have his favorite mommy around anymore and this makes me real sad....:upset:

    Today will be my DAY ONE, and I sure hope and pray that this will not be another "all talk and no action" as it usually is with me......
    Miss October :blinkylove:
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    #2
    As I kissed my son this morning on the cheek....

    Miss October, I'm pulling for you. I have three kids who are 20, 18, and 15. My problem got worse during their teen years. Trust me, you want to deal with this beast now because raising teens in today's society is very very stressful and you need to develop the tools now to cope...

    Don't miss out on the best years of your life because of alcohol. I think the wine addiction is a particular one...Someone close to me in deep denial has that same issue. Somehow because it is touted for its health benefits and it's even given as the blood of Christ in church it's viewed differently. I know many many wine addicts. The glasses make it look so glamorous and the beautiful vineyards, etc.

    What does it end up being for us? Shattered glass and rotting grapes. Pain and shame. The sun doesn't shine on our vines...It tangles us up and makes us into people we don't want to be. The older I've gotten the sicker and sicker wine makes me.

    As you tenderly kiss your son on his way to school, just try to think about how wonderful it would be to do that if you weren't feeling like you were killing yourself. He needs you, Mommy. Do it for yourself. Do it for him.

    Peace. :h

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      #3
      As I kissed my son this morning on the cheek....

      Hi Miss October. I recently read an excerpt from a book called "Mommy Doesn't Drink Here Anymore" and it really touched me. My children are now 16 and 19. I wish I wouldn't have been the mother who drank all through their childhood, but I was. Wishing you much luck and success.

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        #4
        As I kissed my son this morning on the cheek....

        MauMcL;786383 wrote:

        What does it end up being for us? Shattered glass and rotting grapes. Pain and shame. The sun doesn't shine on our vines...It tangles us up and makes us into people we don't want to be. The older I've gotten the sicker and sicker wine makes me.
        MauMcl, how true that is. I know my post sounds like I'm talking about a small child, but he is 14. He calls me his "favorite mommy" and he loves to be woken up by my kiss on his cheek. He is such a sweet boy. Yes, teenage years are tough years, and losing a mother at that age would be tragic to them. I posted this so I could see it in writing. Thanks so much for your response.

        Thanks for your response also Schaefer. I have another son who is 20, so I too have drank through their growing up years. I'll have to check out the book you mentioned.

        Take care, Miss O.
        Miss October :blinkylove:

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          #5
          As I kissed my son this morning on the cheek....

          I wish you strength and will keep you in my thoughts. I am very close to losing my wife and children because of this evil stuff. Tears me apart as each hour goes by. When I get a thought of drinking, I replace it with a picture of my family/children in my head. Doesn't ease the pain of being apart from them, but sure helps not drinking.

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            #6
            As I kissed my son this morning on the cheek....

            Hi- been there myself- quite a few years on now -and have hopefully managed to compartmentalize it? my kids are OK? -but it could have been so much better - you need to do this now so you don't feel as bad as I do about the past! always a struggle - but you sound as though you've made some kind of decision - good luck X

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              #7
              As I kissed my son this morning on the cheek....

              I sure hope and pray that this will not be another "all talk and no action" as it usually is with me......

              I certainly don't want to be at all negative, but hoping won't get it, friends. I recently read the quote, "Hope is the feeling we have when we really don't believe it will happen." Does this sound true to you?? Do you understand what they're saying? It takes hope, but mostly it takes ACTION!!! A plan, work, support, belief, and a daily struggle to be DIFFERENT than what you have been. That one second when you decide to drink is preceded by hours of planning to drink, consiously or not, and we have to learn what those triggers/plans are and change them. This is the place to do it. Arm yourself. Read, for knowlege is your weapon, and use all the tools available til you find what works. It's not easy, or there would be no MWO, except for the fun and friendship of those of us who've been around a while. Call on me anytime for help, and I'm sure others will be willing to do the same. Don't lose what's best in your life to this poison, and believe me, you can and will lose it. I'm pulling for you.
              sigpic
              Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
              awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

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                #8
                As I kissed my son this morning on the cheek....

                Thank you Ruby. I will take hope out of that equation, and I will do more than pray.....I will work for this...I will shed tears and I will grieve as I step out of this "love/hate relationship" with AL. But it is better for me to grieve for that, than to have my son's and husband grieving over the loss of their mother and wife who lost her life to the disease of alcoholism.
                Miss October :blinkylove:

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                  #9
                  As I kissed my son this morning on the cheek....

                  Miss October - I'm pulling for you too. Reread what you wrote this morning, even rewrite it, this afternoon, and this evening, and tonight, etc... My point is, keep committing to it every minute if need be. Then DO IT. Wishing, intending is only useful when you follow up. Jump in don't tiptoe.

                  I wasn't at MWO at the time, but I woke up so many mornings saying "never again". I usually "forgot" about it as it got close to witching hour, or as I passed the liquor store. So there was no "Day 1". It was a lie. Not intentionally - I meant it in the morning - really! So even now, I don't count AF days until their over.

                  Keep busy, stay hydrated, eat healthy, exercise, whatever, just do ANYTHING that's not drinking. You can do it!
                  ​​Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our mind ~ Bob Marley ~ Redemption Song

                  AUGUST 9, 2009

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                    #10
                    As I kissed my son this morning on the cheek....

                    Ruby, what a great post.
                    Said everything I wanted to say.
                    October, it is only a big deal if you allow it to be.
                    Go do it.

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                      #11
                      As I kissed my son this morning on the cheek....

                      While cleaning today I found a journal page of my eight year olds crumpled up behind his dresser. It said "I'm worried about my dad, but he is sleeping peacefully." I'm ashamed because I know it was one of the many times I passed out. Even though I'm almost 3 months sober this was heartbreaking. I'm keeping it in my wallet as a reminder.

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                        #12
                        As I kissed my son this morning on the cheek....

                        Good Morning, I just would like to acknowledge those who I have not mentioned.

                        maslow, thank you, and I wish you strength too.

                        roberta, thanks and I do feel I have made a decision. Something just feels different this time around. I can't explain it.

                        dancelot, I have reread my post a few times over and in my head. That's why I posted it, to make it more real. I don't count AF days until they are over also. I just wanted to put it in my signature, so I can watch the days accumulate.....optimistic aren't I ? I know all to well how in the morning you say I will not drink tonight, and then as you drive home from work, automatic pilot to the liquor store......just two tonight my brain tells me.....rarely happens.

                        Ruby thanks for your support.

                        Gearhead, seeing a note like that from your eight year old would sober anyone up. Congrats on almost 3 months AF.

                        Last night was great. At first I was cranky at dinner time. Did not cook as much, and left kitchen as soon as I could, and then I was fine the rest of the evening. Watched one of my favorite shows "Glee" with my 14 year old son for two hours, and another hour of the "People's Choice Award". We had such a fun time. It was just amazing not being in a cloud of alcohol !!

                        Day One Completed.....Please take care everyone.
                        Miss October :blinkylove:

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                          #13
                          As I kissed my son this morning on the cheek....

                          Sounds like the love you feel for your boy could inspire you to make a really positive change.
                          I am blessed with love joy and sobriety.

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                            #14
                            As I kissed my son this morning on the cheek....

                            some where on here is a thread or two where people listed all the bad things drinking brings us and all the benifits we would gain if we quit. Make that list out for yourself, and when you reach for a drink, read" I will not drink because I will be here for my son; I will not drink because I want to live; I will not....
                            Wishing you the very best.
                            Control the Mind

                            Comment

                              #15
                              As I kissed my son this morning on the cheek....

                              Raven & Rocky, thanks so much for your thoughts.

                              There is nothing like a mother's love for her son......

                              I have made lists in the past. My list for the worst things about drinking always out weighed the list for the good things by far. Still never worked for me.

                              What it really comes down to is MIND OVER BEAST ....... it's just when we really truly have had enough.........

                              Thanks again :l
                              Miss October :blinkylove:

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