Esteem and Acceptance

[TranqWilly]

This may not be on topic, but I thought it might be relevant or helpful to some, so thought I'd share...

Psychology Today Blog Article - Self-Esteem Vs. Self-Acceptance

Although a lot of psycho-babble goes over my head, something about this article hit home for me. I can't buy-in to the explanation that parents cause all the problems one encounters; however, I do believe that many circumstances affect how we think.

In a nutshell the ideas of accepting where we are now, without the burden of guilt, not needing to "fix" but instead looking to grow rang true to me.

I found this part profound:

"...We need to realize that given our internal programming up to [this] point we could hardly have behaved differently..."

"...And it almost borders on the cruel to blame ourselves... for acting in ways that... would help protect us from anxiety or emotional distress".

Take care.
tw

[dancelot]

Esteem and Acceptance

Thanks for posting this TW -

Accepting yourself as you are, including the dark side, is a necessary part of growth in anybody. In an alcoholic, maybe more so. Seeing yourself honestly, even the "bad" parts as they really are, is necessary for any real change. In our case it means confronting and looking in the face our past behaviors, a lot of which aren't too pretty. We end up in a self perpetuating cycle of see it, hide from it (pretend it isn't there), drink to hide from it, etc.

Once you face your dark side, it loses it's power. When you can look at any aspect of yourself with acceptance, it is easier to change it. If you see it for what it is, you're more likely to find a solution. Even when you can't do something about it, realizing you are human and can and do make mistakes takes a load of what is most likely misplaced guilt off your shoulders. You can't forgive yourself until you accept yourself. Once you can, you can truly move on.

[TranqWilly]

Esteem and Acceptance

You're so right Dancealot. I think a lot of us carry around a major burden of guilt that keeps dragging us down. Realizing that it's all about coping and surviving as best we can - playing the cards we're dealt so to speak - can let us see that nobody wakes up one morning and decides to be an alcoholic. Life just happens in strange ways and everyone adapts best they can.

[Rags]

Esteem and Acceptance

Interesting article. Thanks for posting it.

[Lavande]

Esteem and Acceptance

Thanks Tranq - that was a great article!

I did some reading last winter about the damage the programming our parents (and other significant adults in our lives) can do to us before the age of six! No wonder we end up with so many problems as adults. I do believe that if we treated ourselves as nicely as we treat others, Self-Acceptance would not be such a foreign concept or so difficult to obtain.

We really do need to recognize & accept all the parts of ourselves, good & bad!

[mario]

Esteem and Acceptance

very interesting thanks tranqwilly