day1

[cowgal]

AGAIN!!! Cannot believe I f'd up again, but I am out here, being honest and opened, talked w/ some friends from AA last night while on my binge, I am going to a meeting at noon and out w/ a guy from the group w/ 8 years, will I EVER make it??? :upset::upset:told him and everyone else I feel like such a failure!!! I am just breaking, all/some of my support is gone, depending on people I shouldn't too much, my bad..................

Anyway, day one for me, never posted this before, but may as well fess up and be honest, right???

lots of love,:l:h

MA

[greeneyes]

day1

MA, I've been following Chief's posts and he mentioned how much better he felt going to the gym. You are a regular at the gym. Go on and go even if you feel bad (your guilt may be worse than your hangover) which will help you physically and mentally. Get right back in the swing of things and keep going. You HAVE to keep your wits about you to get through this time period. Chin up! Big girl pants on!

[mario]

day1

cowgirl you saddle back up there and jump back in.....This thing we call failure is not falling down,its staying down.see you around :-)

[Raven.joy]

day1

Most people on this site have probably done the same, I have come to see it as the learning curve by which we all eventually get there. This could be the last time for you and I hope it is. Keep faith sister.

[Angelcakes]

day1

Oh CG I'm sorry to hear that...but it's part of recovery.
Learn from it, use it, move forward.

xo

[rubywillow]

day1

MA, you've been under so much pressure, and you've had your heart broken in more ways than one. You know how much I care about you. You've been here, you've read the posts, you've heard that it takes hard work. But with everything else going on in your life, I feel you reached for something that wasn't there, right now. It's not that easy, luv. You've got to find YOU first ,I truly believe your artistic heart will one day find it's mate, but NOW, it's time to be the best mother, horsegirl, person, but espcially the best YOU before the suitors are k nocking down your door. Look at what's wrong right now, and decide how to make it right in your life, as you grow, in knowledge and strength. I love you, girl.

[cowgal]

day1

AAAWWWW!!!

You all are so sweet, today was a good day, feeling WAY better now, besides soon to be x giving me grief, cannot wait to go back to work!!!!


Thanks Rubes, Mario, Anglecakes and Raven...........................:thanks::thanks:.. ..I truly appreciate the heart felt care in your posts, I know it is the grace w/ which we get back up that is better than the fall, had an awesome day, went to an AA meeting and got hugs and love from everyone there when I opened the meeting w/ my f`up honestly..............picked up a white chiip, was given tONS of phone #s and went to have tea w/ a guy from the group I barely knew but chatted w/ on facebook, who encouraged me to go today.............was nothing but good, went to my lawyer's office and met another really sweet guy who wants to network websites w/ me, he does music and wants to pipe it into my website, and possibly do an album cover for him, we are having coffee tomorrow AM when I get done w/ work, good friends are so wonderful!!! all I am looking for, AND finding myself, not feeling so lonely and sad today, so will keep it up and do it all again tomorrow...................for now it is off to work...................

back to my old self again, was told by many this would be a rollercoaster ride, and boy they were not kidding!!!

lots of love guys!!!!:h:h

xoxoxoxo

MA

[time2change]

day1

MA Just want to say I am thinking of you and sending cyber hugs.
XOPatti

[shirazgirl]

day1

Hi Cowgal,
Breaking the cycle takes time and numerous tries for some of us. Just DONT give up on yourself. Remember, everyday is a new day that you can choose not to drink. It is to late for yesterday, but not for today. Glad to hear your doing better!

[Mackeral]

day1

I was getting a sore arse from repeatedly jumping back in the saddle. A lot of years. This time something seems to have stuck, i have never been sober for this long and i know deep down (without getting over confident) that i've cracked it.
My point is Dont get too down hearted..Call on your experiance, use money and time saved to change your routine.Make this your number 1 priority and, for now at least, say to hell with everyone and everything else. Best of luck to you Cowgal...I hope something sticks this time for you..
BTW my arse is much better now..

[cowgal]

day1

Thx!

Again, time, Shiraz and mackeral, thank u for all your support!! Just had a wonderous day, new good friends, what I need so desparately!!! Just got off the phone w/ one for 2 hours, helps me pass the time!!!

I know in my heart this is it, upping my baclofen dose again, really helped, getting back on track and, yeah this IS my number 1 priority!!! Has to be! Tomorrow will be just as good as today wa, I know in my heart and soul, call it intuition, gut feeling, I know it!!

lots of thanks and love, thanks for always being here!!!!!:thanks::thanks:

MA:h:l

[Doggygirl]

day1

You GO MA! One day at a time, WE CAN.

DG

[greeneyes]

day1

Never let go of that thought MA! Thoughts become things, you know.

[cowgal]

day1

i know!!!

will be in the forefront of my mind. Thoughts become things, only GOOD thoughts from this point on........................I am free!!!! and becoming happy again!!! YAY!!

Thanks u guys!!:thanks::thanks:

MA:l:h

[toughintexas]

day1

MA, we talked last night, and I lost ya, I'll try to call you later today. I didn't binge, but I stayed AF only 2 dys., and blew it, didn't drink alot, but too much for the goal I had for myself. I can't wait for this to stick for me too. Mackeral, how'd ya do it, how'd ya'll all get it done? I know what to do, and how to do it, but right now, after losing 3 dear friends in a months time, it seems my mind is too distracted to implement my goals or plans. I've come a long way since getting here 2 yrs ago, but I feel like I still can't graduate kindergarten. Any ideas greatly appreciated!