Addictive personality?

[time2live]

Here I am again. Have been a member for a while and did do the 30 day moderation thing for about 35 days maybe 7 or so months ago. Didn't really work for me though as I was back up to my normal level within a day after that. So I think I need to go completely A/F without the moderation thing in the back of my head.

Sometimes though, I wonder if I am really an alcoholic or if I just have an addictive personality. I do manage to limit my alcohol intake and rarely have embarassed myself in public but I do drink every night. Also, I seem to be addicted to sugar, Diet Pepsi, and I used to smoke. Good thing I've never tried drugs. With all of this I've managed a successful high powered career and I even now wonder if that is part of the addictive thing. I was pretty much a work-a-holic. I have been musing on these topics today as I prepare to once again try to lose the alcohol. I will begin this coming Monday. Also will try to get off the sweets. Just seems as if I have always had so many things I've been unable to quit. On top of that, I just read there is no such thing as an addictive personality. Hard to believe if you know me.

I am wondering if anyone else feels they have an addictive personality and what the correct treatment is for it? Is it possible to lose all the addictive stuff or does one just replace one thing with another?

Because I do seem to control my drinking, one wise woman on this board several months ago asked if I might be OCD. At the time I thought that was crazy but now I wonder if I am because I am so regimented with the drinking, and even the food. Also must have my Diet Pepsi in great quantities every day. I'm so tired of myself.

I would appreciate any help or input at all. I'm going to try to post as I want to do everything possibly to succeed.

Time2live.

[akgirl]

Addictive personality?

Addictiveness does not only occur with substances like drugs and or cigarettes.
It is a mental disorder that can occur with everything that a person can take or do too much.
From eating or drinking too much, to listening to too much music.
Everything can addict once it?s done too much. (like typing 'too much' too much.)

I got this from a site that has a test to see if you have an addictive personality.

To me I don't see the difference between being an alcoholic vs addictive personality. It's doing something to excess....plain and simple.

I haven't looked yet but noticed other sites that said something about treatment. I'm gonna check it out. Couldn't hurt right?

Sending you support
:l
Ak

[Doggygirl]

Addictive personality?

Hi Time2Live. My own opinion is that the labels don't matter nearly as much as the results of drinking matter. If you don't like the results - whatever it is that tends to happen when you drink, then it's worth working to change it. I think AKGirl and I had similar thoughts while reading your post. Here is the question that popped into my head:

If you were sure you had an addictive personality, what do you think you would need to do about your drinking?

If you were sure you were an alcoholic, what do you think you would need to do about your drinking?

In other words, what's different?

For myself, I look back to my pre-sober and early struggling sobriety days and I realize that all the energy and time I put into these types of questions that you are asking seems to say a lot all by itself. My answer was under my nose the whole time - I just was wanting a different answer.

Strength and hope to you,

DG

[Marshy]

Addictive personality?

Hi time2live,

I agree with Akgirl and DG. It really doesn't matter what you call it - if it's damaging behaviour it's damaging behaviour, whether you say it's OCD or alcoholism or an addictive personality or anything else.

How about trying to channel your energy into healthy "addictions" - say, exercise, AA meetings, posting here etc?

Do you have a plan to move forward?

[time2live]

Addictive personality?

Thank you all for your comments. I do know the alcohol is a problem and I don't think I'm trying to make excuses for it so much as to understand it and wonder if, when I stop the drinking, there is any way to also stop the other types of damaging behaviour that might start up. The last time I did the 30 day moderation thing, I began eating almost a carton of ice cream a day and I hate that I did that. Even now, I eat sugar free ice cream like there is no tomorrow and I don't want to get even worse with that or some other not so healthy behaviour. I do work out faithfully six days a week.

Well my plan is just to stop drinking the wine. It's the only alcohol I drink and what I truly enjoy. I am going to stop this Sunday. I know I said Monday above but my wine will be gone by tomorrow night. Also, beginning today, I'm cutting my Diet Pepsi consumption in half. Now I need to stop the sweets too but that may have to wait.

Here are my fears:
In about 2.5 weeks, we will be leaving for the west coast where our kids live. They are in the heart of Napa Valley and are wine connoiseurs. The wine always flows freely when we are there, beginning about 5:00 PM each evening. I am afraid that I will not be able to hold out but I'm going to try. I'm thinking I will have sparkling water instead and try to make that do. Otherwise, I could try drinking rum and diet pepsi with lime to keep me away from the wine but I'm not so sure that's a good idea either. I had the rum on New Years Eve and only had two very small ones as I don't really seem to crave it at all. Red wine is my thing. We have a huge cabinet of hard liquor and have had it for years and I've honestly never tried it. Also don't like beer. Even writing this, I can tell it's a pretty bad idea. Would be just like me to give up wine and get addicted to rum!

Also, we have a six week vacation planned in Florida beginning in late February. Right now I can't imagine those warm balmy evenings and wonderful dinners without wine.

I certainly have thought about not even trying this until we're back home but I think I am ready now. Please help me. I will plan to post constantly. The first time I tried, I only lasted 7 days but I didn't post. The second time I did post more and I know it helps strenghthen my resolve. Even writing this helps.
Love to all,
T2L

[rubywillow]

Addictive personality?

T2L, sounds very familiar. I drink Diet Coke to excess, and there are scads of reports about how bad the colas are for your body. I don't eat desserts, foods, to excess, but if I like it, I don't want to stop. Same way with AL. Nothing about the feeling I get, just having another after another. I'd love to know the answer to this too.

[nancy]

Addictive personality?

Hi there

I agree that labels are not helpful. Don't worry about whether you are an "alcoholic" considering the term alcoholism is actually not well-defined and controversial. Stick with what you know: you have a drinking problem. No doubt about that. There's information about the spectrum of drinking problems on the website of the National Institute of Alcoholism and Alcohol Abuse.

You might find the book Addictive Personality by Craig Akken interesting.

I think it's helpful in explaining what addiction does for people. I wrote about it here a long time ago. As I remember, it has to do with a need for something that will respond in an automatic way, something that is essentially more predictable than relationships. It's a sign, in my opinion, of not being able to adjust to the ups and downs of life so seeking solace in a substance and behavior.

Have you been through therapy? Maybe have some depression or anxiety issues? or childhood trauma?

As for the cokes, well they have a lot of caffeine and that's a feel-good chemical. so are nicotine and alcohol (in the short term). So it does beg the question about how you are feeling.

With caffeine you are getting yourself all hyped up and then you probably need to come down with booze.

Would be good for you to cut the booze out at least for a while and wean yourself off the cokes. But you might need some therapy to figure out why you are so uncomfortable with yourself.

As for the wine trip, bad idea when you are trying to cut back. So if you went would you be confident that you would drink too much but not get drunk in public or alone? So no bad outcomes, but you are just worried about cionsuming too much?

[TranqWilly]

Addictive personality?

Hi Time. Sounds like you've got some determination on your side. I agree with what Nancy said. I also read the Akken book - it was a worthwhile read.

I wanted to add, that regarding 'addictive personality', I've read it both ways. It seems the psychology community doesn't agree on whether it exists or not. I'm no expert, but from what I've read it all comes down to semantics - some say it's a personality type, while others attribute addiction to a myriad of other existing psychological issues. It seems they all like to protect their favorite diagnostics.

I read something yesterday on a site called Procrastinators Anonymous, that said anything can be addictive. And that addicts tend to continuously replace one habitual use for another - a form of healing that never really heals. So I guess it would make sense to get addicted to something healthy, enjoyable and safe!

Take care.
tw

[jessie]

Addictive personality?

Time, I do relate to the compulsive aspect of the behavior - I would sometimes go and buy wine EVEN though I was not feeling like having wine at all - it remains a mystery to me.

[MauMcL]

Addictive personality?

Oh man, I feel for you going to wine country. Can you make up an excuse like your doctor put you on a new med and you are not supposed to drink on it? Like the stuff they give you for fungal toenails? (I'm not kidding; you AREN'T supposed to drink when taking that stuff...). Or think of a reason you need to be on an antibiotic or something? That's what I would do just to get through the trip AF.

You have two choices: You can drink the wine and make everyone around you "happy" because you are partaking or you can NOT drink the wine and make yourself happy for a change. Isn't it time to start doing what is right for you? You are alive, you are there, you are in the gorgeous wine country of California with the beautiful sun shining (hopefully!), you can laugh with your children, hug them, talk to them. Wine does NOT need to be part of the equation for your visit to be a good one.

Think about this maybe? Peace to you and good luck.

[Gold]

Addictive personality?

Hi time2live,

I've often thought the same as you (alcoholism/addiction) and as others have said it does not matter, it is what we want to do about the drinking that matters. Having said that though, I have found that I do not experience physical withdrawals or cravings, it has always only ever been a mental struggle which seems to transfer, in a milder way, to other things when I am not drinking.

When AF I find that I too eat sweets, biscuits, chocolate and so on which I never did whilst drinking, and a similar mental battle starts up again! I feel it is a desire in some way to fill an emptiness inside brought about by years of responsibility (since childhood really) for others and putting them first. I think that is something that is the case for many women especially when working as well as bringing up children, do it alone and it's amplified. There are of course plenty of people who manage this without alcohol, perhaps they eat chocolate, I don't know.

I think it's important to get back in touch with yourself, what you like to do, what is a burden to you and can you free yourself from it to some degree or other, and once you find what it is that is important to you, as Marshy says channel your energies into those positive things.

As to your visit and vacation perhaps focus on other aspects you enjoy, being with your children, the scenery, some activity and think how much more energy you can put into those things without the wine. I stopped on Christmas Eve and it was the best Christmas, stopping at a time when drinking is expected has only strengthened my resolve.

[time2live]

Addictive personality?

Thank you so much for all your responses. They are so appreciated and have given me a lot to think about.

I ordered the book from Amazon today on the Addictive Personality. I was too busy raising a family and working in a stressful job for too many years to ever stop and think much about myself. Now I seem to be at a stage where I want to understand what is driving me and really, I guess, to be ultimately a good, generous, spiritually healthy person. I think giving up alcohol will very much help me on that journey.

No, I have never been in therapy and would love to do it but not sure of the cost. Perhaps I will check that out. I not aware that I've ever been depressed but I am definitely an introvert, although I work hard at making myself get out and am very involved in outside activities.

I know it isn't the greatest time to quit with the CA visit coming up, but I have to quit sometime and I'm tired of putting it off. We go quite often as our little grandchild is there too! I am considering the idea of telling them the medication does not allow me to drink. Also considering telling them that wine has started giving me headaches and that I want to be a good role model for them and for my granchild and that I've stopped drinking. I am very afraid the temptation will be too much. Also, I'm afraid that I will just keep having events with liquor included that will be excuses that could go on forever. Actually my drinking has gone on way too long. I'm sick of myself.

You all seem very wise to me. I especially relate, Gold, as you seem very much like me. I find it encouraging that you quit on Christmas Eve. It's an inspiration to me. I also love the idea of "channeling my energy into positive directions." It's what I'd like to do.

This is such a psychological thing isn't it? I know people have physical withdrawal symptoms certainly, but here I am knowing tonight is the last time I will drink and I am sad today. Haven't even stopped yet and it's all I'm thinking about. That has to be all psychological cuz I haven't stopped yet!

Well, I'm going to be posting and posting and reading and reading because it really does help.

Thank you again.
T2L

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Addictive personality?

Hello T2L, well done on coming to your decision. I dont think you will ever regret it, there is never a good time to stop. I think people like us who share this problem will always find excuses to put it off untill tomorrow. I know you may feel a little sad right now but believe me it will turn to happiness in time when the benefits and clarity of some AF time kicks in. It is as I have read here a lot about our whole perception of depriving ourselves of what we perceve as say a reward, AL and coming to the realisation that we are really rewarding and loving ourselves by not drinking ourselves into an early grave. I hope this makes sense and I wish you all the best on your journey both to CA and more importantly your personal journey. Well done again.

[MF]

Addictive personality?

Hi T2L. Hope today is going well for you.

Best Wishes,

MF

[Virgil]

Addictive personality?

time2live;787051 wrote: Because I do seem to control my drinking, one wise woman on this board several months ago asked if I might be OCD. At the time I thought that was crazy but now I wonder if I am because I am so regimented with the drinking, and even the food. Also must have my Diet Pepsi in great quantities every day. I'm so tired of myself.

Hi t2l,

As someone that was medically diagnosed 35 years ago as having OCD, from what you say I think it would be very difficult to conclude that you also have OCD. In my experience, the only way to find out if you have OCD is to be professionally diagnosed. In saying that, it may be that the woman to whom you refer may well be such a professional (and I apologize in advance if that's the case). But I don't know what it was that you said several months ago that prompted her to draw that conclusion. If in doubt, talk with a psychiatrist or psychologist.

V.