Why Do You Drink?

[TranqWilly]

Why Do You Drink?

Correct answer: All of the above. Ha!

Like Lilmea said - any reason at all would do.

I also agree 100% with Doggygirl - the 'whys' don't matter too much - looking for them just kept me drinking too much for too long. I can't 'fix' anything while I'm drinking -- especially me!

Take care.
tw

[Suni]

Why Do You Drink?

Ok. The very last thing I want to sound like on this site is a smart ass. I?ve only been off booze 3 months myself-finding My Way Out-almost by Grace - just at the right time. I appreciate that beliefs vary- but for the record I don?t believe anyone is born an alcoholic-The ball and chain defo has to go!

Generally I find people on this site really open and willing to share experience.
I?m only asking the ?why? question to try to raise the collective awareness. I mean given the state of the national liver, the more talking we can do about it the better.

Now that I?ve asked it, it produced exactly the results I expected. That is, -what it produced was justifications and excuses. That?s because I asked you why you drank.
It?s interesting. As soon as you ask someone ?why? they engage in destructive behaviours like drinking too much, it tends to throw them back on their heels defensively-so they have to find a justifiable reason.

Hence?you get answers like: I like the taste/ I drink because I?m bored/to relieve my anxiety/to relieve my stress/tired/lonely/isolated/agoraphobic/socially anxious/alcoholic!!!! In my genes!

I?m guessing that it didn?t cure any of those problems ? probably exacerbated a few.
What I really should have asked is what does alcohol get for you? So now, I?m changing the question to something more useful. What does alcohol provide for you? (Given that all of our behaviour is trying to get something useful for us)

[Guest]

Why Do You Drink?

Cause it felt good the inner sense of well being feeling "satori" in a glass

[Guest]

Why Do You Drink?

the false sense of inner well being no matter how short it lasts

[com1]

Why Do You Drink?

Morning all,

Suni certainly opened a can of worms with this one. If Suni believes that we are not born alcoholic, what is the explanation of why ALL people that drink are not alcoholic?? Now I don't believe that we are alcoholic when we are born, but I do believe that we are predisposed to it. And that means that not all that are predisposed are going to become alcoholic either.

That being said, I think that other factors of upbringing, environment, attitudes and opinions of onesself can exacerbate the predisposition to become alcoholic since these factors can lead one to find an escape or whatever one might choose to call it.

MHO

com

[Sarasmiles]

Why Do You Drink?

Good Question!

Boredom. Irritability. Anxiety. To escape the reality of my marriage when my marriage isn't feeling good. To relax and become more outgoing in social situations. To "treat" myself when I can't think of another treat and feel unhappy.

But there are other ways, and I've gotten much better at finding and utilizing them since I joined MWO. When I'm bored, I read, or take a shower and try to make myself look my best, or make my kids turn off the TV and play with me!

When I'm irritable or anxious, I take deep breaths, try to think about all the ways in which I'm lucky, ask for hugs, write in a journal, come here, take my dog for a walk. I think a sublingual "Gaba Calm" helps, too.

When my marriage feels all wrong, I remind myself that sometimes it feels just right. I remember that all marriages have their bad moments. I focus on other things, like my kids. Sometimes I plan out what I'll say when he and I next have a chance to talk alone, and how I'll explain what's troubling me.

In social situations, I remember that it's okay to be quiet. People aren't offended or annoyed by quietness! Most people prefer to talk about themselves, anyway, so I ask a lot of questions.

For treats at the end of a day: Sink into a book, come here and read posts, eat a healthy snack or meal, play a game of "tetris" (still love it after all these years). I light a fire in the fireplace, make a cup of tea, and get one of my three kids to come cuddle up with me and read. Cuddles with my kids are better treats than wine, any day!

More than you asked, I know...but thanks for making me think about all this.

[ready2change]

Why Do You Drink?

Sorry Suni to disagree with you, but the afflication of alcoholism is a fact for many, me included.

How "I" choose" to live with this malady is where my choice comes in. I have the choice to never take that first drink, but once I do, I no longer have that choice. I don't take this lightly in any sense. It is serious business for some of us. I wish I had an "excuse" or some sort of justification. I don't. From the first drink I ever took at a very young age, alcohol has had it's grip on me. I "wish" it wasn't so, but it is. It would be lovely if there was some magical cure or if it was just as simple as not giving into these urges, but alas it is way more complicated than that.

And I disagree with the opinion of not being born an alcoholic. I think we are born predisposed to it and if we awaken the beast by partaking in drinking, if we are truly alcoholic as I am, I will not be able to control my drinking without seeing it for what it is and taking steps to understand how it affects me and learning to live without alcohol in my life.

Please remove my ball and chain.

[TranqWilly]

Why Do You Drink?

Suni -

"What does alcohol provide for you?" Interesting turn of the question, but I think the answers might be the same. I've always drank to get more of something good or less of something bad. To enhance the good times or escape the bad ones. I've reasoned that this is not a problem that is rational or logical - otherwise we wouldn't drink knowing the harm we're doing - so it's not that simple. So I figure it has more to do with how we're conditioned (or conditioned ourselves) to react to feelings and emotions. My sense is we'd prefer not to feel anything, or to enjoy the brief moments of good feelings until we get sloshed.

That work for anyone?
tw

[dancelot]

Why Do You Drink?

All of the above reasons - but mostly I really, really liked it, and any reason would do (as if I ever needed one). I never felt guilty about it, so I didn't "need" a reason to justify it. Maybe I spent so much time on useless guilt over minor matters that I never felt guilt over drinking.

And I agree with ready2change - I am an alcoholic and was born one - I was also born an artist for whatever that's worth. These are inborn traits, nothing more, what we choose to do with or about them is where free choice comes in. If I'd been raised and then lived as say, a devout Baptist or Muslim, then the AL issue wouldn't have come up, but it would still be latent. I have no doubt it's there, and in my case it is partly genetic.

There have been some threads lately on honesty and self acceptance - a recent development for me is I am no longer uncomfortable with the term "alcoholic" - it is a part of who I am - not a moral failing - and if I am to accept all parts of myself I have to see it as such.

Thanks for a thought provoking thread, Suni.

[hippie37]

Why Do You Drink?

If you want to go into the semantics then the original question was "Why DO you drink?" For those of us who don't drink the simple answer would of been "I don't!" No need for explanations whatsoever. Anything after that is self inflated ego.

Love and Light
Phil
xx

[Kimberley]

Why Do You Drink?

Suni, I think you are being a little harsh saying that everything everyone has typed is a justification or excuse. I hope you never know what it feels like to be terrified of leaving your own house or eating a meal in front of someone - and I mean TERRIFIED! I started drinking all day every day at the young age of 18 when everyone else was drinking "for pleasure". Believe me this was never a fun existence.

You said: "As soon as you ask someone ‘why’ they engage in destructive behaviours like drinking too much, it tends to throw them back on their heels defensively-so they have to find a justifiable reason." Well sorry, but that was my reason, and what it provided for me, as I said, was a bubble in which it was possible for these experiences I was having to be slightly less painful. Sorry if I misunderstood your meaning, but I feel a bit kicked in the teeth by you saying this was an excuse. I never wanted to have to resort to that.

Anyway, if you asked me the same question today - what does alcohol provide for you? - I would have to say a quick release of stress and anxiety and then a long period of regret, guilt, twice as much anxiety and remorse. Good thing I'm aiming for an AF 2010.

[com1]

Why Do You Drink?

I would sure like to know where Phil is coming from with his inflated ego comment. Way off base IMHO.

Folks expressing why they drink, drank, or whatever has no basis with ego but simply a reply to a logical question from Suni.

Phil has shared some great posts in the recent past but I can't tell if he stepped over the edge or what after this post.

com

[ready2change]

Why Do You Drink?

I'm a bit confused as well. I always love Phil's insightfulness. Perhaps were missing something and Phil would like to expand his post so we can better understand?

R2C

[YogaHeart25]

Why Do You Drink?

The 3 Month Mark

I do think at the 3 month mark you realize you made many "excuses" to drink. But the deeper question IMO is why you made those excuses at all? There was a reason. And there are millions of people who struggle and everyone's reason can be different.

Trying to be high and mighty at this juncture...would be a little soon to point out to people why they had "their reasons/excuses".

Its a little like asking people why they brush their teeth? You certainly do not need to brush your teeth in order to survive...so what are your excuses for doing that everyday? Because in your mind...there is a benefit.

[hippie37]

Why Do You Drink?

My post was not meant to sound like I was 'attacking' or 'knocking' any ones views here in this thread. Although I should of stressed that I was talking from an academic/philosophical viewpoint concerning the ego. which I stand by. For anyone that's read "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle you'll understand where I'm coming from. I'd also suggest you read "Conversations With God" by Neale Donald Walsch. Hope this clears up the misunderstanding.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lgqdn5_y7mE&feature=related[/video]]YouTube - Eckhart Tolle-The egoic mind 1

Love and Light
xx