Booze!
I remember getting a 4 pack of Heineken when I lived in the UK, as a weekly treat, I left the UK at age 10.only now, at this very minute do I notice a problem with that. From the age of 12 or so I would sneak a beer or some wine from time to time from the fridge at home or my dads place. When I was 14 or so my family bought a second hand bar for the house, inside the bar when it arrived was a bottle of ouzo. When the olds left for some reason I took some swigs of ouzo, and replaced with water (I remember being stressed that water did not mix well with the ouzo, it was cloudy I am certain many on here know this fact, but most people never HAD to learn it).as the week passed I noticed the bottle seemed un touched, as though they had not noticed it was there to begin with, I got braver and took more and more until I had replaced the entire bottle with water(no more clouds?)!When I was in yr11 I received aus-study which was a government hand out to keep kids in school until yr12 (which also temporarily lowered unemployment figures I am sure).The aus-study which was meant for books was spent on take away food at school and southern comfort on the week-ends. For my eighteenth birthday I was given a bar fridge full of beer.
I met my first real girlfriend at 19 in a night club and we moved in together, we would by a bottle of sprits and share it most nights. After a while she started pouring ?her share? into another bottle so I would not drink more than she. We lived together for 2 years, in that time I got more and more violent to her when drunk. I can say I never hit her, but that is no excuse for my behaviour.
I moved back to my mum?s house, she had stoped drinking and found herself. She had also left her abusive second husband. I started martial arts to try to gain some self control and this worked to some degree, some nights I would not even drink. Shortly after this, I meet my future wife in a night club. We lived in a few rentals before buying our own home. I worked hard to make it nice for her, but I still drank almost every day. I was violent to her also when drunk, these events were less often, but more violent. I went to a counsellor (alone the wife would not come) to try and fix my dying marriage, only to find things about myself that I did not like. We sold the house and split after 8 yrs together (7 married) and 4 failed IVF cycle attempts? it Turned out she had a girlfriend the whole time anyway which sent me into a spiral.
I was single for 3 months when I started seeing a single mum, she was a drinker too. We had a great time for 6 months then the fights started me drunk and her tipsy.
When she called the police and they put a domestic violence order on me it was the beginning of the end.
I moved out, into mum?s granny flat and was drinking more than ever.
I have always had a bad memory, I just accepted it. However I suspect the alcohol may have some part to play in my bad short term memory. I have worked for the same company in a few rolls for 16 yrs now. Earlier this month I was working on the steriliser, which is a large gas chamber that we use to ensure our customers that our product is safe to use and free from micro organisms. It was an unusual day as one piece of equipment was playing up, I have such bad short term memory loss that due to the break in routine caused by the faulty equipment, I forgot to seal all 6 of the handles to the gas chamber. I had to abort the run and start again. This event was my moment of clarity.
I have always thought that because I don?t get hangovers often, or I am sober for work, that I don?t have a problem. Not so.
3 months later, back from a one month holiday in Thailand where I had plenty of beer, it was my last hurrah. Whilst away I found out I am to be a father, now this news did little to curb my behaviour in Thailand, but it has defiantly hit home now. I started to regulate my intake down to 3 large mid strengths (6standard drinks) most nights (formerly 4-5 heavy?s every weeknight,2 ? doz on a weekend).The plan was to pick two nights a week A/F. I found MWO a few years ago but just trolled.
The relationship tween the mother of my son and I blossomed, much to our mutual surprise. Our son was born and I found him to be the sweetest finest thing I had ever had a hand in. I made a commitment to myself and my family when I noticed my 5month old son in the very first instances of copying my actions (Sitting on dads lap at the PC trying to type like dad, and horror of horrors, gulping his bottle and sighing after a mouthful, just like dad with a beer.)
So, after much introspection and pain and tears of ?why me?? I went to my GP after help. I had found Campral, BAC and naltrexone on here and other places and suggested them. The GP shot me down saying ?if you can cut down, as you have, you don?t need me, just stop when you can!?
When I whet to the next GP, I had a big long spiel worked out, I planed to bamboozle him with studies and findings. He said almost straight away ? the rehab joint just up the street would prescribe valium and Campral, Ill give you Campral if you promise to come straight back if you need help sleeping or with bad withdrawals. Such a different approach.
So, today with the boy 8months old and his little sister due in 14 weeks, I find myself about 75 days sober. The longest stretch since I hit double digits, and not over by a very long shot.
That?s my abbreviated story, some of the names were changed to protect the innocent?
:thanks: for reading
I remember getting a 4 pack of Heineken when I lived in the UK, as a weekly treat, I left the UK at age 10.only now, at this very minute do I notice a problem with that. From the age of 12 or so I would sneak a beer or some wine from time to time from the fridge at home or my dads place. When I was 14 or so my family bought a second hand bar for the house, inside the bar when it arrived was a bottle of ouzo. When the olds left for some reason I took some swigs of ouzo, and replaced with water (I remember being stressed that water did not mix well with the ouzo, it was cloudy I am certain many on here know this fact, but most people never HAD to learn it).as the week passed I noticed the bottle seemed un touched, as though they had not noticed it was there to begin with, I got braver and took more and more until I had replaced the entire bottle with water(no more clouds?)!When I was in yr11 I received aus-study which was a government hand out to keep kids in school until yr12 (which also temporarily lowered unemployment figures I am sure).The aus-study which was meant for books was spent on take away food at school and southern comfort on the week-ends. For my eighteenth birthday I was given a bar fridge full of beer.
I met my first real girlfriend at 19 in a night club and we moved in together, we would by a bottle of sprits and share it most nights. After a while she started pouring ?her share? into another bottle so I would not drink more than she. We lived together for 2 years, in that time I got more and more violent to her when drunk. I can say I never hit her, but that is no excuse for my behaviour.
I moved back to my mum?s house, she had stoped drinking and found herself. She had also left her abusive second husband. I started martial arts to try to gain some self control and this worked to some degree, some nights I would not even drink. Shortly after this, I meet my future wife in a night club. We lived in a few rentals before buying our own home. I worked hard to make it nice for her, but I still drank almost every day. I was violent to her also when drunk, these events were less often, but more violent. I went to a counsellor (alone the wife would not come) to try and fix my dying marriage, only to find things about myself that I did not like. We sold the house and split after 8 yrs together (7 married) and 4 failed IVF cycle attempts? it Turned out she had a girlfriend the whole time anyway which sent me into a spiral.
I was single for 3 months when I started seeing a single mum, she was a drinker too. We had a great time for 6 months then the fights started me drunk and her tipsy.
When she called the police and they put a domestic violence order on me it was the beginning of the end.
I moved out, into mum?s granny flat and was drinking more than ever.
I have always had a bad memory, I just accepted it. However I suspect the alcohol may have some part to play in my bad short term memory. I have worked for the same company in a few rolls for 16 yrs now. Earlier this month I was working on the steriliser, which is a large gas chamber that we use to ensure our customers that our product is safe to use and free from micro organisms. It was an unusual day as one piece of equipment was playing up, I have such bad short term memory loss that due to the break in routine caused by the faulty equipment, I forgot to seal all 6 of the handles to the gas chamber. I had to abort the run and start again. This event was my moment of clarity.
I have always thought that because I don?t get hangovers often, or I am sober for work, that I don?t have a problem. Not so.
3 months later, back from a one month holiday in Thailand where I had plenty of beer, it was my last hurrah. Whilst away I found out I am to be a father, now this news did little to curb my behaviour in Thailand, but it has defiantly hit home now. I started to regulate my intake down to 3 large mid strengths (6standard drinks) most nights (formerly 4-5 heavy?s every weeknight,2 ? doz on a weekend).The plan was to pick two nights a week A/F. I found MWO a few years ago but just trolled.
The relationship tween the mother of my son and I blossomed, much to our mutual surprise. Our son was born and I found him to be the sweetest finest thing I had ever had a hand in. I made a commitment to myself and my family when I noticed my 5month old son in the very first instances of copying my actions (Sitting on dads lap at the PC trying to type like dad, and horror of horrors, gulping his bottle and sighing after a mouthful, just like dad with a beer.)
So, after much introspection and pain and tears of ?why me?? I went to my GP after help. I had found Campral, BAC and naltrexone on here and other places and suggested them. The GP shot me down saying ?if you can cut down, as you have, you don?t need me, just stop when you can!?
When I whet to the next GP, I had a big long spiel worked out, I planed to bamboozle him with studies and findings. He said almost straight away ? the rehab joint just up the street would prescribe valium and Campral, Ill give you Campral if you promise to come straight back if you need help sleeping or with bad withdrawals. Such a different approach.
So, today with the boy 8months old and his little sister due in 14 weeks, I find myself about 75 days sober. The longest stretch since I hit double digits, and not over by a very long shot.
That?s my abbreviated story, some of the names were changed to protect the innocent?
:thanks: for reading
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