kicking myself

[letgolaughing]

hi everyone
i haven't posted on here for quite a while. I've been doing pretty good moderating and having a few af days. but, about mid december, with the holidays and the inlaws in town for 3 weeks, I've been back to everyday drinking, 3-4 glasses of wine a day.
so. i feel like i'm back to square one. i want to get back to more af days, but again, i'm scared i will have withdrawals. this was my major hurdle when i began modding and af back in september. i had an irrational fear of seizures from withdrawals. i had been drinking pretty much every night for 5 years, 1-4 drinks a night, with no AF days.

NOW, i want to do AF tonight, but I'm scared I'll have a seizure cause I've been practically binge drinking for a month.

ugh. i could use some help again.

thanks

[stirly-girly]

kicking myself

:welcome: back Letgo. Don't believe we've ever met. I'm Stirly. As you know, you've returned to a good place. Lots of helping hands reaching out to us all.
I am no expert on the withdrawal thing. I can put down a great deal of liquor in a short time and have never had withdrawal symptoms when I've gone cold turkey. If you're so worried about it why don't you limit yourself to three drinks tonight, two the next two nights, one the next two nights and finally on day six, none at all. Sounds good to me. I understand that you drink wine, not the hard stuff so it probably wouldn't be a huge shock to your system if you tapered off that way. Can you explain a little more what you mean when you say you have practically been binge drinking for a month, just what do you mean.? I'm sorry, I kind of understood that binge drinking means drinking til you collapse or pass out or whatever. Perhaps I've got it wrong. Do you get that from just 3 or 4 glasses of wine? And if I may ask something else -what is scaring you most - the fear of a seizure or the fear of not being able to drink? Because getting over the fear of not being able to drink is a big step for us all. Just wondering. Hope you manage to do what is right for you. Stirly
And again, :welcome: back...

[hart]

kicking myself

((((letgolaughing))))

I think a seizure is highly unlikely from the amount of wine you are drinking. I drank over 12 beers a day, as did my hubby, and neither one of us experienced a seizure when we went cold turkey. And we didn't taper.


I don't feel you will have a seizure from withdrawal, even after 4 glasses of wine a nite. You say you have in-laws, so I gather ur married Tell your hubby of your concern. As I said, I don't think the amount you are drinking, then stopping cold turkey, will cause seizures. Good luck hon. :l

[letgolaughing]

kicking myself

thanks stirly, nice to "meet" you.

by binge drinking i just mean like more than i "should" i guess. I am usually a 1-2 drinks a night person, except on weekends, then it's 3-4.
but for the past month, it's been 3-4(once or twice, 5). that's too much for me. i haven't blacked out or passed out or anything like that. just with 4 drinks i do usually have a headache the next morn.

honestly, the fear of seizure is what i have(i know that it is hard to believe, but i'm a bit of an ocd/hypochondriac, so that's why i fear it).

does tapering off so quickly (in like 3 days)really help? I have had it in my head that you have to taper for like 2 weeks for it to keep the withdrawals at bay.

my dh says i won't have a seizure, that i don't drink enough for that. but i'm still scared. so, i guess i will do the taper thing again. sigh. this is the last time.

[stirly-girly]

kicking myself

Letgo, everyone's body reacts differently to things. Your husband (that's "dh", righ?) is probably right but if it would make you feel better, then try tapering it off at a slower rate and try drinking the amount you're going to drink over a longer period of time. If you usually drink the 4 glasses over two hours, make it three. And then a few days later, try three glasses over the longer period of time. Like I say, I'm no expert, but I think that if you can manage to do that, your body will ease into the change to AF much easier. I wish you luck. Keep in touch with us. :l Stirly

[Jackie M]

kicking myself

LGL-
I can so relate to how you are feeling. I had myself freaked out about having a seizure as well. I suffer from anxiety and tend to convince myself that the worse possible scenario will play out.
I was drinking a lot more than you and quit cold turkey. I did suffer some high anxiety the first week but did not have a seizure. I drank a lot of water, detox tea, and took supplements to help me through.
The good news is, two weeks later, I feel very calm and relaxed. I have been working out and eating healthy as well. It's amazing how fast one can go from feeling like complete crap to great. It is possible.
Take care-the first few days can be rough but toughing it out is so worth it.
Jackie M

[agapanthus]

kicking myself

LGL,

My mom used to drink several glasses of wine every night (she is 71) and when she quit smoking she suddenly didn't feel like drinking much anymore. Now she drinks maybe 1 or 2 a day, if that. She didn't have any withdrawal symptoms. I think you will be ok. I think stirly girly has a good plan. Best of luck to you.

Jackie, it is so great how you feel so calm and relaxed. Congratulations Isn't it funny that people think they are drinking to relax but they feel more relaxed when they stop? I will keep that in mind. I have anxiety, too.

[letgolaughing]

kicking myself

thanks for the support.

i am just a nervous nelly....
i decided that since i was so nervous about seizures(probably unnecessarily), I would do the taper thing again. I usually drink 3-4 drinks over a 4 hour period, so, last night I had 2 drinks instead of 4.
I will do the same tonight, or maybe less, depending on how brave i am
I will decrease the alcohol for the next week or so, then I'll start my AF days. I do NOT want to do this anxiety/taper thing again, so I plan to stick to the plan this time. It will be easier since the party/holidays are over I hope.

[amethyst]

kicking myself

Letgo, I have had the same situation and the same fear. I have been drinking more than you nightly for the past 4-5 months-5-8 glasses per night. Most nights it is 5 or 6, but two or three times it has been 7 0r 8. Ugh....

Because of the heavy drinking, my weight has gone up, and my blood pressure as well. Since I have high blood pressure, and drink that much, I have been concerned about withdrawal as well. I also tend to be an anxious person.

Last night, I decided to switch to beer, instead of wine. I am not normally a beer drinker-don't much like the taste. But I thought it would help me cut back. I like the taste of the sauvignon blanc too much! So instead of my normal 5-6 glasses of wine, I slowly nursed 3 beers over a 4 hour time period. I felt great when I woke up today, but am rather head-achy now. I am drinking lots of water, taking my All One, and eating lots of vegetables. I was planning on cutting to 2 beers tonight, but I think that may be cutting too suddenly if my head ache is a result of the cutting in half.

So I will have 3 again tonight, 2 tomorrow, 2 Thursday, 1 Friday, and call that it. I am going to a party Saturday, and I never drink when I am out-only at home. So that should work out ok. Keep us posted, and let's encourage each other along the way!

[stirly-girly]

kicking myself

Hi Letgo,
Stirly again. Hi to Amethyst too, don't believe we've met. (BTW, your avatar is stunning!!)
Letgo, you did really well to taper off your drinking. Good for you. It's not easy. I could never do it. Keep up the good work.
Am - I didn't remember you so went back over a few of your posts. I found you in the Men-no-pause thread so I assume that you are at "that" age. You really have to be careful about weight gain and your BP. I know because I had exactly the same thing happen. I have gone off alcohol several times as I told Letgo and every time, even if just for a few days, I have gained weight. Luckily it comes off again but certainly not as fast as it went on. Another thing I noticed is how the signs of alcohol age us and they too can be reversed to a certain point when we stop drinking.
Just wanted to encourage both of you and tell you once again that you are not alone and that we can all beat the beast AL.
You both take care,
Stirly:huggy:huggy

[amethyst]

kicking myself

Thanks for the encouragement Stirly. And Letgo, I wanted to update you on my tapering down.

I had meant to have 3 beers tonight, but that is not the way the evening played out. After working for a few hours in the afternoon, I got off work later than normal. I was feeling rather anxious and head-achy, and really out of sorts. Mine is not a hide in my cubby sort of job- I am out and about with lots of people around. NO chance to sit and sulk- must be efficient and cheerful. I hit the store after work for several necessities ( planned stop), and picked up another 6 pack. I only had 2 beers left at home, and I wanted to have 3.

Well....I had one quickly as I was cooking dinner, then opened another after eating. It did not taste good, and I was so tired and out of sorts that I actually struggled to finish that beer. I could not bring myself to open another, so went to bed at 10 with having had only 2!!!:H I feel better this morning, and am prepared for the same sort of afternoon if need be.

Right now the plan is to have 2 again tonight. I will keep you posted, and hope you do the same.

[letgolaughing]

kicking myself

just checking in....so glad for you amethyst that the 2 beers was a breeze and you didn't even need the 3rd!

I have cut back this week, in a effort to taper down to AF next week.
i have to do it slow cause of my irrational hypochondriac fear of seizures.

anyway, mon, tues and weds i have only had 2 drinks (one beer, one glass of wine). this is from 6p-10p, or thereabouts. it's funny, but last night, after i finished my wine, it was like 930p. I thought, wow, I'm not sure how I could have been squeezing 4 drinks into those hours! i'm a slow drinker as it is; i'll sip on a beer for an hour.

[letgolaughing]

kicking myself

so, i am proud of myself... last night, FRIDAY night, I only had 2 beers. I could have easily done it if I had stayed home cause I would have just gone to bed at 9p, but I actually went out with some friends for dinner. I had 2 beers there and got home about 9p. at this point, I normally would have had a glass of wine. But, I decided to have some bubbly water instead. I stayed up til about 1030p and never had that 3rd drink. YAY!

I was allowing myself 3 tonight, but who knows, maybe 2 will do the trick.
so, hopefully next week, I can taper down to 1. we shall see.

[allswell]

kicking myself

Good luck to you letgo. It's been almost two weeks af for me and the anxiety I had the first several days is also going to be the first thing I remember (and not want to repeat) if I get in that old familiar thinking of "just one". I think you will be fine as far as seizures go, I drank at least 12 beers a day for years, quit cold on Jan. 3rd, and did not have anything other than some anxiety and sleeplessness. It went away relatively quickly and af is the only place I wish to be.

Best to you on this worthwhile journey.

[letgolaughing]

kicking myself

allswell...that's very reassuring about quitting cold turkey. i'm sure i'd be fine too, but i have irrational fears about it, so tapering is better for me. I too am going to remember the anxiety when I think of drinking days in a row, once i actually get some AF days under my belt again.

last night, i allowed myself 3 drinks since it was a saturday night hanging out with my friends, but i ended up only having 2. Again.

yay