Good job, letgo! Sounds like you are out of the danger zone for seizures and sticking to your plan. AF here you come!
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kicking myself
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kicking myself
so....i'm sad to say i had 4 drinks last night. went to a bday party for a friend, had 1 beer and probably 3 glasses of wine, although it could have been just 2 1/2. I am disappointed that i went over my allowed 3 for this night, but i'm trying not to get discouraged.
it's weird. i'm sitting here disappointed in myself for having the same amount, or even less, then all my friends at this party had. I bet they are not kicking themselves this morning. Which brings me to a strange point. i know ALOT of people who have a couple of drinks everyday. they are not concerned about it. wonder why I am so concerned? I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm glad I'm concerned. At least that way I know I will be aware, and hopefully not have my drinking progress into something out of control, which I guess is my mission now. Stopping a habit before it goes too far. I don't know...just rambling
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kicking myself
Hi Letgo,
Glad you posted! Kicking yourself about last night won't really get you anywhere, in my opinion. Something that might though is digging into the thoughts above though. I find it isn't really helpful to concern myself with what my friends are doing because they are not me and I am here because I know that alcohol was a problem for me. Is drinking merely a "habit" for you? You are afraid of seizures, right? You find being AF for brief periods a challenge also. Wondering why you're concerned is a good thing. Maybe thinking about that some more and getting honest with yourself about it. I'm posting to you because I really care and I know just how hard it can be to think about stopping alcohol even for a brief time. Is it fear of seizures that keeps you drinking when you know that is very unlikely, or is it fear of realizing that it is more than a habit?
I believe in the process and you! Just keep coming and posting and working on getting where you want to be. Have you started to think about other things you can put in place before you go completely AF? Supplements? Some exercise? Avoiding alcohol-related situations for a little while? Remember (from the MWO book), RJ didn't envision an AF life ahead for herself...like you, she wanted to figure out a way out of what she viewed as a problem. I found that getting some time away from alcohol helped me to see clearer, but committing to an AF forever is not something I was prepared to do then (nor can I wrap my brain around it now). Thankfully, those AF days stack up and I learn something new about myself and my relationship to alcohol daily.
Hang in there! You're right where you need to be to get this figured out. :l
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