Downside of AA

[Gearhead]

Hey everybody..
Just a general observation. I have been AF for almost 90 days now, and I have attended a handful of meetings. This was originally a requirement placed upon me by the court.

At first I thought it would save my life, later I found that the solution was within myself. I recall driving to my first AA meeting concerned that I could get a DUI as I had a binge the night before (wouldn't that be ironic).

I enjoyed the company of those in AA. I found nothing but warm, accepting people. I just have a very fundamental issue with the organization's mantra and philosophy in general:

Step 1: admitted that I am powerless over alcohol.

I've read many others state that "AA was just not for me" on this board, and I wonder if this is why.

To me, this is obsolving one of their accountability with alcohol and alcoholism. I refuse to accept this; I am NOT powerless, I have chosen to kick this thing on my own (even though it's gotten the best of me a few times). I have found MWO to be a greater tool in my personal struggle. We are in power over our own decisions, not some "higher power".

I will not say I have killed this demon, but I can honestly say that I have had many opportunities to drink without harming myself or my family (alone time), and have repeatedly chosen not to drink. I reflect upon all the damage thus far, and can't find a single reason I'd ever want to drink again. I find solace in my newfound freedom, and enjoy waking every day without regrets and giving myself completely to those that depend on me.

[Zeppie2]

Downside of AA

Hiya Gearhead - congrats on your nearly 90 days

[jessie]

Downside of AA

Hi GH, I'm really glad for your sake. I'm no pro, but I wonder whether people in the earlier stages don't still have more willpower, whereas those in the later stages of alcoholism has lost that. Just a thought.

[Marshy]

Downside of AA

Hi Gearhead,

Congrats on your 90 days!

I go to AA and have never been pressurised into doing the steps, finding a sponsor or anything else. If you do feel under pressure, then it's the wrong meeting for you.

What I like about AA:
The people. As you say, a nice bunch. At my favourite meeting, we have a good laugh and go for a pizza afterwards.
The *hardcore* aspect. Even though there are laughs, all the people there take their sobriety deadly seriously, work at it, and know it makes their lives infinitely better. And, indeed, means they have a life rather than dying early. I like the honesty and lack of denial.

What I don't like: the jargon and appalling grammar. I hate the use of the word "drunk" as a noun rather than an adjective, as in "My last drunk was...." But, hey, that's a minor irritation compared with what I get from it :H

I'm not evangelising. If you don't like AA, you don't like it. It's certainly not for everyone.
But, like MWO, it's not a rigid system that you have to follow to the letter. You can use it how you want. Or, in their dreaded jargon - "take what you like, and leave the rest". Arrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggg. :H

[gyco]

Downside of AA

yo G H congrats on your 90 days,as far as AA it is not for all,somewhere in the book it does say that,i always suggest to read the 1st 161 pages and then bobs nightmare,over and over again.doesnt necessarily mean your an alchoholic if you read the book,anymore then if you come here,lets face it if you do come to these places obviously your struggling with somthin,have a wonderful day gyco

[Doggygirl]

Downside of AA

Hi Gearhead. Congrats on your near 90 days of sobriety! That is awesome. It's the result that matters far more than the method of getting there!

I can really relate to your opinion about the "powerless" issue. OH BOY did I have an issue with that before I started going to AA. As you suggested, that was a big one that kept me from even walking through the door.

What I have since come to understand for myself is that I AM powerless over alcohol if I drink it. No matter how hard I have tried, and how many times I have tried over the many years of my drinking career to have "one drink" I have never ever been able to do it. Once I have a drink, I really don't have much, if any, control over the drinking from that point on. That is now my understanding of being powerless over alcohol (it doesn't say powerless people, or helpless people - just powerless over alcohol). That statement doesn't apply to everyone. My husband, as one example, is NOT powerless over alcohol. He often has 1 beer and then many months later, has one beer. Me on the other hand? I cannot drink like that. Never HAVE been able to drink like that. I have finally accepted there is no reason for me to believe that will ever change.

I have not gotten from AA that I am not accountable. I am fully accountable, with help from whatever other powers I choose to believe in (whether that be God, fellow AAers, the MWO community, my sponsor, the Universe, all of the above, etc.) NOT to ever take the first drink.

Just a difference in perspective. Bottom line? No one solution has ever proven to work for everyone. Sadly, there are some who never find a solution and end up dying (or killing others) due to alcohol related problems. To me, THAT is the tragedy. I encourage everyone who has a problem with alcohol to be willing to try whatever possible solutions are out there until you find what works for you. I personally have grown to believe there is no option worth "bashing." If an option works for even one person then it's a good option.

DG

[mario]

Downside of AA

I hated AA long before I ever went near it, not necessarily because it was AA but because by going there I felt that I was labelling myself as an alcoholic. After going there I hated it even more because I did not want to be an alcoholic and I did not want to stop drinking. AA says that "the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking". Well I didn't have it!

I drifted into AA, I drifted into bars and I was stuck in that hell between knowing what is right and not wanting to do it. Eventually I was to go to AA, because I had nowhere else to go. I found some great people, I found some people I would not spend the time of day with. Sometimes AA groups had problems with me, my anger and my honesty (lack of tact). Sometimes I had problems with theirs. but at the end of the day it has helped me in my fight with alcoholism and i would recomend it as one of the tools to use with others.impo.

[IAD]

Downside of AA

" What ever works !" Our main goal is to get sober and stay sober........I found AA a bit confining, but have friends that go their. They ask how I'm doing, I tell them I'm fine....doing MWO and it works for me. They don't try to recruit me, just let me know that they're their for me. IAD

[cowgal]

Downside of AA

My 2 cents

I started AA before. I found mwo, strictly followed all the rules, worked diligently on all the steps, then started drinking when m dad died, was welcomed back w/ open arms, but just couldn't "get it" again, found mwo tried to mod, decided I couldn't, abstained off & on (mostly due to my living situation I am in right now, soon to change) go to only one aa meeting I like(went to a bunch & finally found one I gelled with) I go, not religiously, take what I want & leave the rest behind..... We all go out after the meeting and eat & laugh(my fav part!) I find it good, but it took a while......

Little more than just 2cents, but that's how I feel, take it or leave it

MA:l

[lodestar]

Downside of AA

As a non-AA-goer (but familiar with 12-steps), I'd like to thank Gearhead for starting this thread and also the people who attend AA and responded so thoughtfully. The powerlessness notion rubs me wrong too in lots of ways, but your point is well-taken DG (not powerless people). And I'm with Marshy on the grammar/jargon bit. That would drive me nuckin' futs. :H Whatever works for people is what matters though. Congrats to you, Gearhead...I'm right behind ya.

Best wishes

[hippie37]

Downside of AA

powerless = empowerment. It's one of the great paradoxes of life I believe.

There is a great saying that goes: "If you let go a little, you'll find a little peace. If you let go a lot, you'll find a lot of peace. If you let go completely you'll find complete peace."

Powerless does not mean we admit defeat otherwise we can not become empowered due to resenting the fact that we have somehow 'lost' the battle. We haven't lost anything. We find ourselves in letting go of something we have no control over.

Most spiritual philosophies you will find work on the basis of this idea of 'letting go' or powerlessness.

Love and Light
xx

[hippie37]

Downside of AA

I would also like to add that I too dislike the little cliches in AA but for a very good reason. Because they're TRUE. I don't like hearing the truth sometimes but it's what I need to hear all of the time otherwise I end up sitting on my pink cloud. xx

[Cinders]

Downside of AA

It is extremely uncomfortable to have to face the fact that I have a condition that means I cannot live and act like so many others do.

The greatest power we have, as alcoholics, is to never take that first drink.

I have had to admit to myself that I am completely powerless to control my drinking. It is that simple. My life has become unmanageable because of it.

My only choices available are:
[list type=decimal][*]Continue to drink and either die or hurt others.Never pick up a drink and live with the knowledge that my cure is abstinence.[/list type=decimal]
I don't like it but at least I have faced it.

Now, let's see which choice I make.

I am grateful for my MWO and AA friends whom I can call on BEFORE I pick up that drink. I have learned that just the chat time gets me past the obsession and gives me the power to maintain control over my life. Simple but difficult.

Love,
Cindi

[ronnie]

Downside of AA

Great post Cinders

[Doggygirl]

Downside of AA

Hippie and Cinders, I really enjoyed both of your posts. You both have a great way of boiling things down to something I can relate to and understand. Thank you!!!

DG