What do you do when you're in a bad mood?

[Sarasmiles]

What do you do when you're in a bad mood?

Thank you all for your responses. I have another question. Do you think bad moods (or irritability) are more frequent because of occasional drinking? Do they go away with long term abstinence? I usually find that after two or three days AF my mood starts to lift. I feel more positive and energetic, and I get more done. But soon after that, I start to get irritable, and I think about drinking. Is it because I'm "withdrawing" from alcohol use? Is irritability caused by sometimes feeding the brain alcohol, and sometimes denying it alcohol?

Those of you who know me know how I've struggled with my moods. I'm thinking I may want to go back on an antidepressant. I hated how it took away parts of me...My libido, my tears, my sentimentality...But I hate this crabby bitch I've been of late. I get so snappy and frustrated and angry over stupid things. The only relief is from wine. Do I have to trade in my true self to get a self who functions better?

Today I picked up my absolutely beloved boys at school. Immediately, they asked to go to our local "country store" for candy. I didn't really want to do that. Money's tight. We're trying not to feed the kids sugar. And I knew I'd be tempted to buy a bottle of wine. But it's Friday...They wanted a treat...they seemed so excited about the thought. So I gave in. But I felt annoyed. Then the youngest got mad because I wouldn't let him get the "king size" bag of jelly beans. We came home with their candy (and the bottle of wine I picked up while there) and they started fighting...A metal laundry basket placed by one on the head of another lead to tears...One child took too big a bite of another's candy bar... And instead of gently setting limits, or calmly reminding myself that, as Tawnywitch said, this will go by fast, I felt irritated, and I opened that bottle of wine, at 3:00 in the afternoon.

What's wrong with me? I keep coming back here...Sometimes feeling successful and happy, and sometimes feeling like this. I wonder if I was looking for an excuse to drink. It's been on my mind all day. I even wrote out a "cost benefit analysis" to persuade myself not to drink today. But then I got so irritated, and I hated that mood so much, I went ahead and drank two glasses of wine.

So here I am, feeling more relaxed, thanks to the wine, but also wondering: what's wrong with me?

[Doggygirl]

What do you do when you're in a bad mood?

I can't speak for you Sarasmiles, only for me. I was LOUSY at handling life's irritants and really anything that caused the slightest disruption in the way I had my day and it's events all planned out. And wine or Vodka was my way of handling these things.

I have had to re-learn (or actually, learn for the FIRST time) appropriate ways of handling life's little irritants.

One of the things I have ALWAYS had trouble with is the ability to say no. I would always say yes to things, and then immediately resent that I had even been asked to do X, Y or Z. And of course that resentment was directed at whoever did the asking. I did a lot of things with a grudge on my shoulder, or committed to things I didn't want to do, and then had to fenagle a way to get out of.

Now I am trying to say a guilt free "no" where appropriate. And where I DO commit to things, I am working on staying peaceful with the committment and not fretting over it until the time comes to carry it out.

So in the example you gave - a situation I am very familiar with, just not with children - the first issue might be to either say a guilt free no, or a resentment free yes to the activity to begin with. At least that's where I have had to begin. I think it's a learned skill.

Drinking won't fix the occurance of this problem, IMO.

DG

[Sarasmiles]

What do you do when you're in a bad mood?

Doggygirl, Thank you. You're absolutely right that it's saying yes when I want to say no that causes a lot of resentment. As a mother, I feel it a lot. The kids ask me to do something and I feel this irrational pressure to comply. Then I get annoyed. I think a "guilt free no" is a great concept. So is a resentment free yes!