hi
well, this is getting ridiculous, i know. and i know that most of you won't understand, because yes, it is an irrational fear. I have these. It's part of my ocd and anxiety disorder. and i'm so mad that it has crept into my life like this.
I am still scared to go AF because of withdrawals. I'm not afraid(although not looking forward to it)of the smaller things like headaches and sleeplessness, but I am terrified of the shakes and seizures that "could" happen.
I need more reassurance before I try an AF day. So, here is my story for those of you who haven't heard this all before.
I'm 44, female about 110 pounds
for the past probably 5 years, i have had a drink pretty much every night. sometimes one, usually two, weekends, 3 or occassionally 4. i am very precise with pouring, so these are standard drinks(5 oz wine, 12 oz beer). last october, i came here and got the courage to taper down and go af. I did. I went AF for 4 days in a row, then had minimal weekend drinks, then did 4 days af again. then i went back to drinking pretty much every day with only ONE AF day per week. I thought I was past the scare of withdrawals, but then, december came. I had only 1 AF day in December, then I was drinking everyday again. usually 2-3 a night.
so, now i'm mad because I'm scared of the withdrawals again, and have to taper down again to avoid the fear. I just want to go AF for a few days and this irrational fear is making me put it off.
So, here's the scoop, maybe you can tell me (again)that I won't have any serious withdrawals....
I have been tracking my drinks since I began tapering
2 jan 11
2 jan 12
2 jan 13
2 jan 14
2 jan 15
2 jan 16
4 jan 17
2 jan 18
2 jan 19
1.5 jan 20
1.5 jan 21
2 jan 22
3 jan 23
now, since i had 3 last night, i'm scared to go down to ONE let alone go AF. i have been having headaches for the past couple of days and i don't know if it's stress or alcohol withdrawal! i'm so scared that it's alcohol withdrawal and that "means" that i would have more serious withdrawals if I go cold turkey! should i taper for the next few days? i'm just not sure if you drink 4, then 3, then 2, then 1 like 4 days in a row if that is a long enough taper. how long should one taper, i guess is my question
i know, i know, most of you will say, well, you have to take the leap. just do it and deal with the seizure if it happens. or, you might say, please, you are just using the "seizure" scare to keep drinking. I'm really not. I'm really scared. I need advice from MWO because I know that you can help me. It helped me before in October.
wow. well, if you've gotten this far in my long ass post, thanks! lol
well, this is getting ridiculous, i know. and i know that most of you won't understand, because yes, it is an irrational fear. I have these. It's part of my ocd and anxiety disorder. and i'm so mad that it has crept into my life like this.
I am still scared to go AF because of withdrawals. I'm not afraid(although not looking forward to it)of the smaller things like headaches and sleeplessness, but I am terrified of the shakes and seizures that "could" happen.
I need more reassurance before I try an AF day. So, here is my story for those of you who haven't heard this all before.
I'm 44, female about 110 pounds
for the past probably 5 years, i have had a drink pretty much every night. sometimes one, usually two, weekends, 3 or occassionally 4. i am very precise with pouring, so these are standard drinks(5 oz wine, 12 oz beer). last october, i came here and got the courage to taper down and go af. I did. I went AF for 4 days in a row, then had minimal weekend drinks, then did 4 days af again. then i went back to drinking pretty much every day with only ONE AF day per week. I thought I was past the scare of withdrawals, but then, december came. I had only 1 AF day in December, then I was drinking everyday again. usually 2-3 a night.so, now i'm mad because I'm scared of the withdrawals again, and have to taper down again to avoid the fear. I just want to go AF for a few days and this irrational fear is making me put it off.
So, here's the scoop, maybe you can tell me (again)that I won't have any serious withdrawals....
I have been tracking my drinks since I began tapering
2 jan 11
2 jan 12
2 jan 13
2 jan 14
2 jan 15
2 jan 16
4 jan 17
2 jan 18
2 jan 19
1.5 jan 20
1.5 jan 21
2 jan 22
3 jan 23
now, since i had 3 last night, i'm scared to go down to ONE let alone go AF. i have been having headaches for the past couple of days and i don't know if it's stress or alcohol withdrawal! i'm so scared that it's alcohol withdrawal and that "means" that i would have more serious withdrawals if I go cold turkey! should i taper for the next few days? i'm just not sure if you drink 4, then 3, then 2, then 1 like 4 days in a row if that is a long enough taper. how long should one taper, i guess is my question
i know, i know, most of you will say, well, you have to take the leap. just do it and deal with the seizure if it happens. or, you might say, please, you are just using the "seizure" scare to keep drinking. I'm really not. I'm really scared. I need advice from MWO because I know that you can help me. It helped me before in October.
wow. well, if you've gotten this far in my long ass post, thanks! lol
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