I am so excited. Long winded story, but finally some closure.
I had the worst year possible last year, just about wasting everything away possible in my life.
I got divorced in March, then set about partying more and more. I did all kinds of horrible things: spent copious amounts of money on alcohol, had drinks upon waking, drove drunk, drove drunk with a child (UNFORGIVEABLE-- I will never forgive myself for that), offended people, seriously thought about suicide, seriously thought about stealing beer when I ran out and it was afterhours.
I ended up with a ex-wife prompted "wellness check" by the sheriffs deputies, resulting in an unwilling hospital visit via ambulance, an order of protection served by my ex between her and the kids and myself in August. The following week I pleaded with her to get my son back, only to have nearly the same thing happen again in October, after doing well I had a serious binge week where I missed my daughter's soccer game, got seriously behind in work, and nearly broke my bank account.
Reviewing my court paperwork and contacting a lawyer, the seriousness of the situation began to sink in. At my first hearing in October, I was told to participate in random ETG sccreening, participate in AA, and see a counselor for 6 weeks and then to report back. During that time period, konwing that 1 drink would mean losing my son, I gained an immense hatred towards alcohol. This 6 week period was HELL as my ex had temporary sole custody, and used it spitefully against me constantly.
At the next hearing, the judge was very impressed with the negative test results, and restored my parental rights, and allowed me to stop the random testing, with only a follow up phone hearing to remain. My attorney was strong and helped champion this decision. I continued my sobriety proudly, even went out and went to a couple of parties and was totally fine with being AF.
I let my guard down with the ex, our co-parenting relationship improved. I helped her move into her new home. She told me she had every intention of dropping her petition, which I fully believed.
I had my final hearing today. Up until the hearing at 2:00 today, I thought she was my friend again. When my ex was offered the opportunity to withdraw her petition, she began backpaddling and discussing how she was a "better parent". The judge dismissed her petition, despite a last feeble attempt to attack my parenting (how often I buy clothing for my kids was the best she could stammer out in the apparent rage I heard from her on the phone). The message from the court was clear, if the kids are safe then joint custody should not be touched.
I thank god for the second chance I have been given. I have many regrets about the events of last year, emotional, parentwise, financially, but I am greatful to have come full circle. I still fight the urge, but every passing day that goes on, its diminished a bit. I don't miss sweating all the time, not being able to remember something I said, being drunk and homebound, or hiding empty bottles. I can remember the smell of alcohol coming out of my breath and find it revolting. My nightly ritual is surfing youtube, watching drunk drivers, and intoxicated people in general, knowing that I never want to be "that guy" again. I also look at MWO and read new postings daily. Thanks to all my friends here. I have recieved nothing but care and friendship here, and enjoy reading all of your posts!
Thanks to all you guys
AL gearhead=R.I.P.
good dad/neigbor/engineer gearhead=alive and well
I had the worst year possible last year, just about wasting everything away possible in my life.
I got divorced in March, then set about partying more and more. I did all kinds of horrible things: spent copious amounts of money on alcohol, had drinks upon waking, drove drunk, drove drunk with a child (UNFORGIVEABLE-- I will never forgive myself for that), offended people, seriously thought about suicide, seriously thought about stealing beer when I ran out and it was afterhours.
I ended up with a ex-wife prompted "wellness check" by the sheriffs deputies, resulting in an unwilling hospital visit via ambulance, an order of protection served by my ex between her and the kids and myself in August. The following week I pleaded with her to get my son back, only to have nearly the same thing happen again in October, after doing well I had a serious binge week where I missed my daughter's soccer game, got seriously behind in work, and nearly broke my bank account.
Reviewing my court paperwork and contacting a lawyer, the seriousness of the situation began to sink in. At my first hearing in October, I was told to participate in random ETG sccreening, participate in AA, and see a counselor for 6 weeks and then to report back. During that time period, konwing that 1 drink would mean losing my son, I gained an immense hatred towards alcohol. This 6 week period was HELL as my ex had temporary sole custody, and used it spitefully against me constantly.
At the next hearing, the judge was very impressed with the negative test results, and restored my parental rights, and allowed me to stop the random testing, with only a follow up phone hearing to remain. My attorney was strong and helped champion this decision. I continued my sobriety proudly, even went out and went to a couple of parties and was totally fine with being AF.
I let my guard down with the ex, our co-parenting relationship improved. I helped her move into her new home. She told me she had every intention of dropping her petition, which I fully believed.
I had my final hearing today. Up until the hearing at 2:00 today, I thought she was my friend again. When my ex was offered the opportunity to withdraw her petition, she began backpaddling and discussing how she was a "better parent". The judge dismissed her petition, despite a last feeble attempt to attack my parenting (how often I buy clothing for my kids was the best she could stammer out in the apparent rage I heard from her on the phone). The message from the court was clear, if the kids are safe then joint custody should not be touched.
I thank god for the second chance I have been given. I have many regrets about the events of last year, emotional, parentwise, financially, but I am greatful to have come full circle. I still fight the urge, but every passing day that goes on, its diminished a bit. I don't miss sweating all the time, not being able to remember something I said, being drunk and homebound, or hiding empty bottles. I can remember the smell of alcohol coming out of my breath and find it revolting. My nightly ritual is surfing youtube, watching drunk drivers, and intoxicated people in general, knowing that I never want to be "that guy" again. I also look at MWO and read new postings daily. Thanks to all my friends here. I have recieved nothing but care and friendship here, and enjoy reading all of your posts!
Thanks to all you guys
AL gearhead=R.I.P.
good dad/neigbor/engineer gearhead=alive and well
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