Hey guys!
Hope this finds you all well. Well, last Saturday I found myself away from my kiddos for the weekend on what was supposed to be a romantic weekend away with my hubby. We were getting massages and I was so hungover that I almost puked on the massage therapist's feet and it was all I could do to keep my stomach contents down the entire time.... I had the shakes big time and I was dizzy-- LYING DOWN!!!
I couldn't help but think what a waste the whole thing was.... waste of time and money, waste of precious moments alone with my husband- which are few and far between, waste of a great life. I wanted to slap myself in the face and say "what the hell are you DOING?"
Then later when I got home I watched an episode of Intervention about this lady who drank 8 bottles of wine all day, every day for years. She had lost her job and husband. Her daughter moved out and wouldn't even call her "mom" anymore. It was my wake-up call.... time to break up with booze.
Anyway, I began taking Topa this week, and although it has been no picnic with the initial SE's, today (day 4) I am beginning to see a ray of hope... I am looking around saddened by what I have missed-- my beautiful kiddos and hubby, the freedom to feel generally good about myself and my choices.
Topa has been weird for me so far as my body has adjusted-- yesterday I was pretty depressed all day. I did have a margarita when out with girlfriends. I didn't finish it. I don't know why-- that has NEVER happened. I wanted to, but I didn't. Weird.
Then later I was still bummed and I poured myself a glass of wine. I drank it (took over 30 minutes, when it used to take about 5 minutes), and I wanted more but I didn't pour it. I think I somehow must have known it was not going to make me feel better- only worse.
Today I feel great! Woke up for the first time in I don't know how long without SOME form of a hangover. (Or without still being drunk from the night before--UGH.) Felt great about my kids, worthy of being a mom and wife, felt a strange confidence that I can do this.....
Anyways, I am rambling. Thank you for listening. I can't express to you all in words what an encouragement it is to come on this forum every day and read thousands of posts of different (yet similar) experiences... ups and downs, advice, etc. This is a fantastic community and I am blessed to have found you all and be a part of this. Here's to a great day.
Hugs
Madi
Hope this finds you all well. Well, last Saturday I found myself away from my kiddos for the weekend on what was supposed to be a romantic weekend away with my hubby. We were getting massages and I was so hungover that I almost puked on the massage therapist's feet and it was all I could do to keep my stomach contents down the entire time.... I had the shakes big time and I was dizzy-- LYING DOWN!!!
I couldn't help but think what a waste the whole thing was.... waste of time and money, waste of precious moments alone with my husband- which are few and far between, waste of a great life. I wanted to slap myself in the face and say "what the hell are you DOING?"
Then later when I got home I watched an episode of Intervention about this lady who drank 8 bottles of wine all day, every day for years. She had lost her job and husband. Her daughter moved out and wouldn't even call her "mom" anymore. It was my wake-up call.... time to break up with booze.
Anyway, I began taking Topa this week, and although it has been no picnic with the initial SE's, today (day 4) I am beginning to see a ray of hope... I am looking around saddened by what I have missed-- my beautiful kiddos and hubby, the freedom to feel generally good about myself and my choices.
Topa has been weird for me so far as my body has adjusted-- yesterday I was pretty depressed all day. I did have a margarita when out with girlfriends. I didn't finish it. I don't know why-- that has NEVER happened. I wanted to, but I didn't. Weird.
Then later I was still bummed and I poured myself a glass of wine. I drank it (took over 30 minutes, when it used to take about 5 minutes), and I wanted more but I didn't pour it. I think I somehow must have known it was not going to make me feel better- only worse.
Today I feel great! Woke up for the first time in I don't know how long without SOME form of a hangover. (Or without still being drunk from the night before--UGH.) Felt great about my kids, worthy of being a mom and wife, felt a strange confidence that I can do this.....
Anyways, I am rambling. Thank you for listening. I can't express to you all in words what an encouragement it is to come on this forum every day and read thousands of posts of different (yet similar) experiences... ups and downs, advice, etc. This is a fantastic community and I am blessed to have found you all and be a part of this. Here's to a great day.
Hugs
Madi
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