I've fallen to rock bottom

[Lotus]

Hi

I'm Lotus - was here a while ago, thinking I'd had "controlled" my alcohol habit. But for the last year I have not had an AF day. I have been signed off work for 2 weeks due to anxiety & instead of trying to sort out my drinking problem, I have started to drink ealier. I've had half a bottle of vodka and half a bottle of wine. I then started to self harm, so spilt the wine down the sink, promising I wil not do this to myself. But here I am craving more drink.

[rubywillow]

I've fallen to rock bottom

Lotus, do you have anyone you trust you can call to come and stay with you a while? You know the drill, AL will only make things worse, but you shouldn't go through this alone right now.Try to do something that is calming to you now - music, hypno or relaxation tapes. Stay here and talk to anyone who's around. But take care of yourself. The bad days DO pass. Remember how good you felt when you were AF? You can do it again. I'm here for you.

[Gearhead]

I've fallen to rock bottom

Wow do I remember my rock bottom days.

And boy do they haunt me.

Having had some AF time under my belt I can tell you that the anxiety is CAUSED by alcohol, not RELIEVED. As Ruby said, do you have anyone you can call on? I had most of my family come and stay at my house for a couple of days. At least to get you through the rough stuff. It will pass but you won't get better unless you stop (you already know this). Hang in there.