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what went wrong THIS time?

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    #1

    what went wrong THIS time?

    I was doing so well, thought I had scared myself straight, so to speak, then started occasional drinking, then got discouraged when I was trying to exercise and hurt my back, bought a six pack, and drank it in one day. But I guess it's still less often than it used to be, at least. But still bad. Hadn't taken supplements, maybe that was part of it. Maybe obsessing led to it. I had been thinking about how well I had been doing, and just thought I could handle it, I guess. It was over several hours so it wasn't as bad as it could have been, but I drove. Again, I'm hating myself. It's like I rebelled against myself. Does anyone else do that? Like, I almost have a part of myself that can't accept myself as a good person that does good things. I broke all my rules. I don't even want to call my good friends that helped me out last time because I'm so embarassed. They said to call them if I was in that mood, and I didn't. I'm so lucky nothing bad happened as a result of my screwup(s). I guess I have to remember that this can happen, and protect myself somehow.
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    #2
    what went wrong THIS time?

    Some, your experience is SO familiar to probably everyone here. We're doing great, we're over-confident, one won't hurt us, right? WRONG! Back to the definition of insanity - making the same mistake over and over, expecting different results. The best thing you have done is come here and talk about it. No need for you to be embarrassed here. As a veteran of drinking and driving, you ARE very lucky nothing happened. Lives can be changed at the least, ruined at the worst. Get back on your plan, use all the tools you find here, and keep coming back and posting.
    sigpic
    Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
    awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

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      #3
      what went wrong THIS time?

      Ruby said it very well without judgment and with lots of love.

      I'd wager almost everyone here has driven drunk at one point or another. So fortuante you didn't hurt anyone else or yourself and that's one area I'm firm on now. A taxi is a heck of a lot less than the $6,500 a first time DUI runs in my state. But for me most importantly I would never want to risk hurting others for my poor judgment. Just remember with drinking:

      "When the judgment goes, you don't have the judgment to know the judgment went!"

      :l
      Eve11
      "Control your destiny or somebody else will"

      ~Jack Welsh~:h

      God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Author unknown, :thumbs:

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        #4
        what went wrong THIS time?

        Take a look at this thread for some great tips https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html
        sigpic
        Thoughts become things..... choose the good ones. ~TUT

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          #5
          what went wrong THIS time?

          Thank you, kind people...

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            #6
            what went wrong THIS time?

            Hiya Someone else - we have all been in your shoes - I know I have but instead of stopping at the six pack I went right back to where I started from.

            I now know I can not drink ever again and I don't want to even try to have a drink.

            Get back on the horse and stop beating yourself up about it.
            It's time I put my big girl pants on. :grannypants: I hope they fit.

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              #7
              what went wrong THIS time?

              Thanks, all. And tonight there is a dinner for my husband's work. He might think it strange if I don't have wine with dinner. I was thinking I'd get a non alcoholic beer, or water, for the cocktail hour beforehand, and then just sort of nurse one glass of wine - just take a sip so they don't keep trying to refill it.

              I had it all figured out - just don't drink during the day and that limits the amount of trouble I can get into. And then I impulsively bought that six pack. I just can't keep it in the house.

              I did look at the toolbox thread - thank you. WIP posted something really good about the Deprivation mode, and another member mentioned that to me, too. I'm working on understanding it.

              I have been resisting going totally al free, but that resistance is probably holding me back.

              Somewhere there was a post about even moderate amounts of alcohol making depression worse that was really interesting, and I can't find it now.

              Take care, all.

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                #8
                what went wrong THIS time?

                Hi Some,

                I have just had a crash and burn after about a month of af. Was doing really well, felt good, was enjoying the little things in life again, had a much better attitude, was happy, sleeping well etc. Then seemingly without any thought at all - maybe like autopilot - there was I back into it. Just the one night but that was enough! Picking myself up again with help from wonderful people here and getting on with my plan. I can never have 1 drink ever again and that decision feels good.

                All the best with your journey to sobriety. It will be so worth it.
                Developing an Attitude of Gratitude

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