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    #16
    Saved by the bottle...

    sunshine_gg;806275 wrote: No, this was lucky circumstance..... not my victory. Which really bothers me.

    Seems I'm not nearly as far along in recovery as I thought
    well done sunshine for turning your back on it....I think the word recovery scare's me i like to look at myself working in progress.
    Formerly known as Teardrop:l
    sober dry since 11th Jan '2010' relapse/slip on 23/7/13 working in progress ! Sober date 25/7/13 ( True learning has often followed an eclipse, a time of darkness, but with each cycle of my recovery, the light grows stronger and my vision is clearer. (AA)
    my desire to avoid hitting bottom again was more powerful then my desire to drink !

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      #17
      Saved by the bottle...

      Hey Sunshine, this is not uncommon at all with many of us. I had an experience about the same time as you (6 months sober) where I literally was about to get off the bus and go into a pub because of the way I was feeling. Again, it was just life experiences that brought me to that place that I felt I wasn't able to deal with the emotions of anger I was feeling at that time. I was actually on my way to see my support worker too would you believe. The urge was so strong that I literally got up out of my seat and started walking to the front of the bus in order to get off. I don't know what pulled me back but I didn't step off the bus. I finally got to see my support worker where he was able to help me see the anger for what it was.

      Like Marshy says too I think you're being a bit hard on yourself here. All these little victories (which they are!) will add up to give you a real sense of achievement. Does wonders for the self worth. So don't knock it and accept that you are where you're supposed to be in your recovery and you're doing great.

      Love and Light
      Phil
      xx
      "Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children." Kahlil Gibran
      Clean and sober 25th January 2009

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        #18
        Saved by the bottle...

        Thanks guys, to all of you. You all are truly a life line - in the early days as much as now.

        Hippie -thank you. You're right "... don't knock it and accept that you are where you're supposed to be..." You probably hit the nail right on the head. Just because something doesn't conform to our expectations doesn't mean it isn't the way it's supposed to be. Very true.

        Well, I had the STRANGEST dreams the last few nights.. all involving AL in one form or another. *shudder* I'm awfully glad for that 'phew - just a stupid dream' moment...

        Have a grand day, everyone!
        Okay, WHO put a stop payment on my reality check?

        Winning since October 24th, 2013

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          #19
          Saved by the bottle...

          Sunshine GG, my friend, I am sooo proud of you! Well done!
          You faced the enemy and won the battle!:goodjob::l:h:l

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            #20
            Saved by the bottle...

            Sunny, its great to see you back and still doing brilliantly. Yes brilliantly! You met the challenge and chose wisely.
            Well done girl!
            Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
            Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

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              #21
              Saved by the bottle...

              Well done Sunshine. While the early days/weeks/months of sobriety SEEM like forever, 6 months or even a couple of years is not really a lot of sobriety when you consider (at least for me) how very many years I spent drinking, and trying to address every problem in life with AL as the solution. Those thought patterns don't go away over night.

              I too think Marshy made a GREAT point in terms of another way to look at this situation! You didn't buy the bottle, and that will always be a victory.

              What I try to learn from situations like the one you experienced is that I MUST stay humble, and never forget that in AL I am dealing with a very cunning, baffling, powerful and PATIENT foe. I think the addicted part of my brain will be ready and waiting to try to convince me that drinking would be a good solution for many years to come. I used to fear that fact. I don't fear it any more - I just accept the reality and know that I must keep my guard up.

              Again - GOOD WORK! And thanks for sharing this story. When I read everyone's experiences - well, that's what helps me keep my own guard up. Hopefully if we all keep sharing we will all win this war.

              DG
              Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
              Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


              One day at a time.

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                #22
                Saved by the bottle...

                SunnyButt, not to make light at all of your 'moment', but I think you had a BIG victory. I find it harder to pass up a SALE now than AL! :H
                sigpic
                Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
                awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

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                  #23
                  Saved by the bottle...

                  :H Ruby!!!

                  So you're saying, the liquor store AND the flea market are off limits now??? :H
                  Okay, WHO put a stop payment on my reality check?

                  Winning since October 24th, 2013

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                    #24
                    Saved by the bottle...

                    Hey, Sunshine!

                    It is a victory, it is a little luck, it is a miracle - like all of life! You made it by that temptation, that is what's important. I had a similar thing happen right before Christmas, and it scared the shit out of me. I also had the dream, and the worst part was how I going to lie to all my support systems? That really hurt (fortunately only a dream - someone else I know had the same dream, felt the same way, and is around the same amount of months as us).

                    We need to not forget our little alcoholic brains are still there. I know at times I thought I had it so easy compared to others, and that almost relapse sure put me in my place. I made it through, but did have to re-evaluate and do a little spiritual housecleaning.

                    I agree with Marshy's advice - check you've got enough support networks, etc. And remember we aren't that far along in sobriety, even though it seems like sometimes. In my case 6 months also, but compared to 36 years of drinking.... Remembering this is a process, not a goal (which is how I define stopping drinking, which is obviously huge. After that comes the rest of our lives).

                    A day, an hour, a minute at a time - that applies to all of us sometimes. Take care, and again, I'm glad you're still with us! Much, much love my little Musketeer! :h
                    ​​Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our mind ~ Bob Marley ~ Redemption Song

                    AUGUST 9, 2009

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                      #25
                      Saved by the bottle...

                      "Remembering, this is a process..."

                      Thanks hun... I think I do need a reminder of that every now and then. No, this goal of ours definitely is not an 'event' - and Marshy, I completely agree... time to inspect my support structures.

                      Thank you all - so much food for thought.

                      :thanks:
                      Okay, WHO put a stop payment on my reality check?

                      Winning since October 24th, 2013

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