fallen to drink after spousal abuse

[ladyjan]

fallen to drink after spousal abuse

no I'll be ok.. got Ollie here making toastie chocolate fingers for him..

can't go to the carnaval it is tropical storm weather here, extreemly bad wind and rain got roads closed thru rock falls had to go all around the valley to get Ollie, the sea is raging all ferries and flights between the islands have been stopped

got my head back on right... be honest was very shakey to get a drink, but I stopped and realised I could lose ollie and for what...a fucking drink because of him..
I mustn't let him still get to me, but it's so very hard once some one has had control on your mind..
only way I can describe it to some one who hasn't lived it is...you know you're gonna get it, don't know how to avoid it, panic sets in and are powerless to stop it..
liiving in fear is no way to live..

I'll be ok
:l:h:l

[rubywillow]

fallen to drink after spousal abuse

Can't tell you what to do, Jan, but I would report his contact. You've got to keep yourself squeaky clean to get your family back together, whatever it takes. Maybe letting them know will help them find him and send him away a bit. Hugs to you love. You have an army behind you.

[stirly-girly]

fallen to drink after spousal abuse

rubywillow;807044 wrote: Can't tell you what to do, Jan, but I would report his contact. You've got to keep yourself squeaky clean to get your family back together, whatever it takes. Maybe letting them know will help them find him and send him away a bit. Hugs to you love. You have an army behind you.

I think Ruby's right. Let the authorities know. He has absolutely no business contacting your daughter. It's not like he's related to her or anything. Be strong. Just keep your mind on the fact that in a few months you'll have Ollie back living with you again. THAT is the most important thing. You've done such a good job so far. Just keep going the way you have been over the last couple of months. Read what your signature says -
Finally got there..! Just gotta make sure I stay there..!
:h:h

[Doggygirl]

fallen to drink after spousal abuse

Ladyjan, just wanted to send you a hug. :l I'm so sorry to read of the abuse you have endured along with your kids. Having to face that along with your sobriety cannot be easy. I applaud you for your decision yesterday not to drink. One day at a time.

I hope Ruby is right about that special place in hell for men like him.

DG

[ladyjan]

fallen to drink after spousal abuse

Thx guys..:h
it really does help to know I have you to talk with, you give me strength knowing I am not alone,

that is one thing all abusers do, is to alienate us from friends and family so that they are the only one in our lives..and depend on them..

what a fucking joke now when I look back...I provided for him..he lived off my money, he provided nothing...shit I was so stupid..

yes I am gonna go to the court tomorrow with a print out of the email to Bonnie, in the restraining order he is not to make contact or come within 500mts of me...
this is why he is sneaky contacting Bonnie !!
I am a survivor, have got this far and NOT gonna let him get to me again, even mentally,

coz that is what it is just now, coz he knows Bonnie will tell me..
it's like he is saying"I'm still here and I can still get to you"
am ok..
sorry to keep on, but it does help to talk with you all
:l:l:l

[gyco]

fallen to drink after spousal abuse

my dear jan u will survive you are strong and you have us hahahaha

[ladyjan]

fallen to drink after spousal abuse

Gyco;807067 wrote: my dear jan u will survive you are strong and you have us hahahaha

Thx, yes Iknow and you are all soooo wonderful....:h

[tiptronic_ct]

fallen to drink after spousal abuse

Hey, Jan

Big hug from us!

We love you & Ollie both!

From Mrs. T and I.

[mario]

fallen to drink after spousal abuse

:lstay strong ladyjan:l

you have lots of great friends & support here

[byebyebridgetjones]

fallen to drink after spousal abuse

I'm so relieved to wake up this morning (our time) and see that you've managed to avoid a drink.
The last thing you need , I'm sure, is another kick to the self esteem.
Hope you get it sorted at the court today, and put the arsehole right back in his place.
Bridget.

[ladyjan]

fallen to drink after spousal abuse

Hiya Bridget,
yep it was very close, but I had Ollie with me today and was a huge reminder of what the hell has gone on..and why it all has happened..that he is in there and not at home..

I didn't drink, but it was hard, last night I nearly went to the 24hr shop but just kept thinking about Ollie and WHY he is there..
and what a nasty fucking bastard his father was....
have so many mixed feelings.
I just want him to tell me WHY he hit me..WHY..??Why he was such a nasty bastard when all I did was everyting he wanted..how stupid of me,why the hell did I let him do it..??..why??

I know you understand, you haven't told me, but I know you have gone thru something simular.
:l:l:l

[byebyebridgetjones]

fallen to drink after spousal abuse

The sad thing is ....they have usually had the shit beaten out of them also....they think it is normal, and that this is how people relate to one another.
It's a complicated and tragic path from there, for them and for us.
We are both playing roles from then on.
They are the aggressors, behaving in a way that is familiar to them, and we become the ones who appease (familiar to us) , because we ALL KNOW what's going to happen if we don't appease...don't we ?
I think the important thing to realise is that we don't have to play our roles any more.
Everyone in this scenario is a victim.

[rubywillow]

fallen to drink after spousal abuse

Violence begets violence. You are breaking the cycle with your loving example for Ollie. Always remember that. With a father like he has, his mother HAS to show him how to be a decent, loving, and honorable and SOBER man.