Does the New Tide for front loads wash out the Pink Elephant?

[Helensback]

When I first came here last February, I knew that alcohol and I had an unhealthy relationship.

I AF’d it for a month or three - then moderated.

I truly hoped I could moderate. I know my husband was concerned I’d turn into his mother. She refuses to stop at the liquor store for her husband when she’s in town - 10 miles from home.

On mods I continued with the supplements, and Cd’s and very little exercise. I did well for about 2 to 3 months.

Then the weekends became “un-memorable”. The attitude was back - cranky, frustrated, beyond stressed. Need a vacation. Subtly implying that it is my FAMILY who are the problem here.

But we all know the pink elephant in the middle of the room. We talk around it whilst straining our necks and raising our voices.

Not loving or supportive or connected in any kind of positive way.

HOW TO GET RID OF THE ELEPHANT?????????????

Just two weeks ago I added another elephant when I quit smoking.

I think that perhaps I am not a person with foresight. I have had hints of that character mishap throughout my life. I have “made my bed” with disastrous results more than many many many times.

Now. The problems as I see them - in no particular order:

1) My house is not big enough to hold two elephants - pink or otherwise.

2) I actually liked who I was when drinking and smoking and generally being somewhat irreverent.

3) I gave birth eight years ago to an incredible person in the shape of my daughter and she has indicated to me that she would like me to live for a long long time.

4) I am ashamed that her love for me is so incredibly hard for me to comprehend. I have never loved me like that.

5) I just don’t know who the hell I am without all the things I do

Helen

[mojomuppet]

Does the New Tide for front loads wash out the Pink Elephant?

elephant smelephant
you liked who you where drinking and smoking? i bet you a hundred bucks i know and eight year old that didnt.Two wont fit? go buy one for each room in your house as a reminder to you that they will fit ( will remind you to try to not be soo cranky too!).Who the hell are you,well a mommy,a wife,a shaver of a beaver(sorry had to),and im sure many other things. In so sorry your having a hard time. hope today is better for you.
love,:l
mojo

[fsophiah]

Does the New Tide for front loads wash out the Pink Elephant?

In AA, they call that the "dry drunk" syndrome. When I did my 30 days, I did experience it, mostly the feeling that my life was over. But your "cranky" feelings need to be recognized and dealt with, not with a return to who you used to be but with an effort to build a new life around your new health. There are more than two alternatives in life, and what I love about this program is that it gives me room to grow. For me, now, when I get cranky, I think about exercise or hypno or try to remember just how much I hated myself for being drunk every night. I also think meds help. This is a continuing argument I have with my alcoholic son. Go and look at RJ's blog. There is an interesting article posted there on how the new medications are changing the face of alcohol treatment. Use what you have here.

[southernbelle47]

Does the New Tide for front loads wash out the Pink Elephant?

Helen.......your daughter is sooooo worth your doing whatever it takes to be healthy and live.
I too have a daughter. She's 35 now and the one who took me to get help . We didn't drink much as she was growing up but she did say things when we did.....I so wish we had listened and not drank at all. You are in the years right now where you can decide on passing this disease on to her....
Find something to do to start to make you like yourself. If its only a random act of kindness here on line!
You are worth it! Listen to the clearing cd 1 and 2 parts.
I too have a husband that is going to drink....cares about me but is still going to drink. I bought a book yesterday called "Boundries in Marriage". Look for it. It's by Henry Cloud. Only you can take care of yourself. Do whatever you have to do and know that you are not alone.
I've missed you here......:welcome: back.

Love,
Nancy & Belle:l

[fsophiah]

Does the New Tide for front loads wash out the Pink Elephant?

You know, I just read my post, and I sounded pretty smug, and I apologize. What I wanted to say is that the pains we experience, I think, are growing pains. I think it's important to look at them anew, with our rose colored glasses off, and realize that we have covered up a lot of stuff with our alcohol use. It may mean dealing with new challenges and making new changes. One change generally leads to more. I didn't mean to sound preachy. We're in the same boat.

[goingsobermum]

Does the New Tide for front loads wash out the Pink Elephant?

My pink elephant is me when I stop drinking alcohol, give up the caffeine and get out running. I feel so much better but then I look and think who the f*** are you and have a drink to get over the shock!
suz

[Helensback]

Does the New Tide for front loads wash out the Pink Elephant?

Pink Elephants

Thank you everyone.

I needed that.

Helen

[Helensback]

Does the New Tide for front loads wash out the Pink Elephant?

Washer of the beaver

Mojo,

Look a little more closely.

[mojomuppet]

Does the New Tide for front loads wash out the Pink Elephant?

ok ill fix it lmao!
love,
mojo

[mojomuppet]

Does the New Tide for front loads wash out the Pink Elephant?

it is just always something i swear!

are you happy now?:l

[Helensback]

Does the New Tide for front loads wash out the Pink Elephant?

Happy

That depends, Mojo.

Define "happy".

[mojomuppet]

Does the New Tide for front loads wash out the Pink Elephant?

:l happy - Synonyms from Thesaurus.com
this is for you my darling helen!

[Ann]

Does the New Tide for front loads wash out the Pink Elephant?

My sister is in therapy for a violent relationship. Her therapist told her that she is an adult with a childs 'coping' skills.....in other words, that she learned to deal with s*** as akid and she kept this mechanism into adult life, where it does not belong any more. Her coping 'tools' don't work in the adult world of feeling and hurting..
Why is your hubby scared you'll turn into his mother Helen? Did you pick each other for man and wife because you both had pain in common?? I don't know....maybe there are signals in your life that can help you understand why you feel the way you do. Perhaps you are not the cause of the lack of self esteem you feel....maybe the elephant is your true feelings.....you are trying to hide them, but boy, are they trying to escape..!!
Try to stay here, it helps. Ann

[Guest]

Does the New Tide for front loads wash out the Pink Elephant?

OMG Suz thats tooo Funny, Your A Hoot !!

[tawnyfrog]

Does the New Tide for front loads wash out the Pink Elephant?

Helen

I've watched you. I've loved your irreverence. You are not a serial poster - you don' speak until you have something salient to say. You take the minimalist approach. I like that.

However, I read your post today and suddenly you offered and exposed the essence of your soul. You don't do that lightly. (I've never had the balls to do it.) I see that you're hurting. It is obvious. The jester cries....

I just wish I knew what the hell I could do to make you feel better ... you are one of the reason's I'm still here. And I won't add a huggy thing gizmo because the huggy thing would in no way express how I really feel.

You are my friend and I love you. Hang on in there. You can do this. You can do it for yourself and your beautiful, beautiful daughter.

Tawny

(...and that's as sappy as I get)