Hello all - I back here for another go at sobriety 
I have to say that in the past few months, I've been a little better - managing to have a couple of days a week AF and if I go out for a meal I always stick to one glass of wine.
Drink is still a huge problem though - I continue to have nights were I can't stop myself heading for the supermarket, buying two bottles of wine and downing them both until I'm in oblivion.
This week though I took a huge step. I went to see a psychotherapist and for the first time could talk to someone about my life, my problem with alcohol and how it was affecting my family. It really helped me to realise that (while yes I probably do have a level of addiction), drinking alcohol this way has become a learned behaviour - a coping mechanism - which I have adopted since I was a teenager.
I don't believe I actually crave alcohol, it's more like when something stressful or upsetting happens, the first thought that springs into my head is 'drink' and my immediate reaction is to reach for a bottle of wine. The psychotherapist explained how the brain works and how when stressed the emotional side of your brain takes over the rational side, which in turn completely obliterates your will power.
She gave me a breathing exercise which I have been using which really seems to work and is so simple. Twice a day (before I get up and before I go to sleep) for 10 minutes, breath in as normal and then make each breath out last twice as long as the breath in. It's incredible that after a couple of minutes, I feel much calmer and relaxed. Then during the day - if I start to feel the stress trigger - instead of reaching for the bottle, I start the breathing technique. She also explained that after a month or so of doing this exercise morning and night, my body would automatically kick in the breathing whenever stress hits and over time my craving for alcohol would get less and less.
Anyway - I feel more positive than I have in a long time and I wish I had gone to see someone before but always put it off because of the expense. However, the ?45 it cost me I could easily spend in a week on alcohol. I'm going back to see her again in two weeks. She thinks that I will only need 4 sessions to really start to feel the benefits - so fingers crossed.
I will also make more time to visit here each day - there are so many people on this site that are a massive inspiration to me - so :thanks: to all of you who have paved the way to a new life of sobriety. I would so like to be totally AF and the fact that so many of you have managed this makes me believe I CAN do this too - but I have to really want to.
I have to say that in the past few months, I've been a little better - managing to have a couple of days a week AF and if I go out for a meal I always stick to one glass of wine.
Drink is still a huge problem though - I continue to have nights were I can't stop myself heading for the supermarket, buying two bottles of wine and downing them both until I'm in oblivion.
This week though I took a huge step. I went to see a psychotherapist and for the first time could talk to someone about my life, my problem with alcohol and how it was affecting my family. It really helped me to realise that (while yes I probably do have a level of addiction), drinking alcohol this way has become a learned behaviour - a coping mechanism - which I have adopted since I was a teenager.
I don't believe I actually crave alcohol, it's more like when something stressful or upsetting happens, the first thought that springs into my head is 'drink' and my immediate reaction is to reach for a bottle of wine. The psychotherapist explained how the brain works and how when stressed the emotional side of your brain takes over the rational side, which in turn completely obliterates your will power.
She gave me a breathing exercise which I have been using which really seems to work and is so simple. Twice a day (before I get up and before I go to sleep) for 10 minutes, breath in as normal and then make each breath out last twice as long as the breath in. It's incredible that after a couple of minutes, I feel much calmer and relaxed. Then during the day - if I start to feel the stress trigger - instead of reaching for the bottle, I start the breathing technique. She also explained that after a month or so of doing this exercise morning and night, my body would automatically kick in the breathing whenever stress hits and over time my craving for alcohol would get less and less.
Anyway - I feel more positive than I have in a long time and I wish I had gone to see someone before but always put it off because of the expense. However, the ?45 it cost me I could easily spend in a week on alcohol. I'm going back to see her again in two weeks. She thinks that I will only need 4 sessions to really start to feel the benefits - so fingers crossed.
I will also make more time to visit here each day - there are so many people on this site that are a massive inspiration to me - so :thanks: to all of you who have paved the way to a new life of sobriety. I would so like to be totally AF and the fact that so many of you have managed this makes me believe I CAN do this too - but I have to really want to.
awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, 
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