Close Call

[Cindi]

I had a close call last night. Quitting time and one of my coworkers suggested we all go out to Happy Hour. Of course everyone else was excited. And for a split second I considered going. Luckily that thought when right out the window when I thought about how good I feel w/o alcohol and all the trouble it's caused me. My co-workers do not know about my drinking problem. In the past when I would go out after work w/ them I would only stay for a couple then head home for the REAL drinking to begin.

When I got home I felt good that I hadn't gone but even the thought that I considered it even if it was just for a second scared me. I also felt kind of sad that I can't drink like a normal person. Well luckily my gym has a Monday night Yoga/Relaxtion class so I went to that, came home, ate a light dinner and went to bed. I feel much better today.

It was a rude awakening yet again that I will struggle with this for the rest of my life.

[Panno]

Close Call

:yay:Well done u Cindi wish I had gone to Yoga instead of the shop!!! Keep being strong :l

[mama bear]

Close Call

Bravo Cindi! Good Job!

[mario]

Close Call

good job cindi

[greeneyes]

Close Call

Way to go cindi, you are a non-drinker! :l

[rubywillow]

Close Call

Yes, Cindi, I know what you mean. I'm excluded from many of my siblings 'gatherings', mostly because they are still big drinkers. It still hurts, and they don't make any attempt to make me feel better about it, but it's for the best, I guess. I could actually go and NOT drink, but I think they feel I'm a damper on their fun. I'm SO glad you held strong. It's a tough reminder we're always one drink away from being back where we started.

[maasai]

Close Call

I wish i could feel the same way i am counting days ones again i had a terrible relapse an am back to zero. Am waiting to go for my evening meeting and am shaking like hi dont know what. I lied to myself that i was strong enough but still never strong enough. I need your prayers

[Panno]

Close Call

You have my prayers Maasi be strong and have a good meeting :l

[Doggygirl]

Close Call

Cindi, :goodjob: on doing something other than Happy Hour. I can really relate to what you said about going to happy hour for a "couple" and then going home for the REAL drinking to begin. OH I did a lot of that for many years. Or I'd meet some friends at one bar for one or two, then others at a different bar for one or two, etc. (and then still drink more at home) so that none of them would *know* how much Happy Hour drinking I really did. Oy. I am so glad to have that hampster wheel of a viscious circle behind me!

When I first stopped drinking, I thought that *everyone* drank except me. (insert "poor me" here) What I realize now is that in addition to the "normal" drinkers (which I am NOT and never will be) there are plenty of people who don't drink or usually don't drink. I realized that as a rather big drinker, I gravitated towards those people who were also big drinkers - whether they were alcoholic drinkers or not.

Long story short (maybe someday I will learn how to do that LOL) I think there are more people out there around us every day enjoying the bounty of life without a drink in their hand than I originally thought. It takes time to change our old habits and explore new opportunities, and BUILD (from the ground up!) a NEW life that is free of AL's ball and chain.

You did GREAT last night by not only taking a pass on the Happy Hour, but choosing something ACTIVE to do instead (the gym). I think that is so key to our building new lives and filling that space which AL used to occupy for us. (for me, that was a HUGE space and filling it has taken time!)

Rock on!

DG

[hippie37]

Close Call

It was a rude awakening yet again that I will struggle with this for the rest of my life.

Hi Cindi.

Well done on not accepting the bribe from the devil.

It does get easier when you move from a place where you feel you're missing out on something or that feeling that the grass is always greener on the other side. It would still seem to me that you are in a grieving process for the life you once knew and that's OK. I had to go through a similar process which I still at times feel as though I've not completely worked through.

I had a moment today where I was thinking about a course I'm due to attend in March away from home and how the other students would probably be drinking in the night time. Would I feel left out? What would I do if they offered me a drink? How is that going to make me feel? I know I'm projecting here because I have no idea what's install when I get down there if I'm honest. But a feeling came over me that didn't so much worry me, but made me aware that YES I probably would feel that I was missing out on some kind of bonding and connection with the rest of the group if I wasn't drinking. So I know for me this is going to be something new for me because I haven't allowed myself to be in a position recently where I'm around people drinking. I've not felt strong enough. I do feel though that my feelings are going to be manageable around this because of my conscious contact with God. Feelings will not kill me but picking up a drink will certainly lead me very close to that. I think in this situation it's not about whether I'm missing out on 'drinking' it's about missing out on bonding with fellow students.

You won't have to struggle with this for the rest of your life though Cindi. It's a process that takes time. These thoughts will soon come, and go as quick as they came and you won't have to think twice about whether you're 'missing out'.

Sending you lots of love and energy
Phil
xx

[Tulipe]

Close Call

Cindi,
Good on you. Feel good about yourself for it.

[AMELIA]

Close Call

Cindi,
Well done. You chose the course of action that was good for you, rather than an old re-action.
Bet you felt great when you woke up the next morning.
Next time you are in that situation, you will have this experience to back you up.

[peacenik]

Close Call

yay cindi!

that is inspirational to me...yoga helps me so much and i'm sure it made a world of difference for you today! imagine if you were hungover instead of feeling good today.

you have come a long way woman!

[peacenik]

Close Call

maasai, i hope you made through!
and please, do stick around here for support!

[Cindi]

Close Call

Maasai,

Whatever you do, don't beat yourself up over it. When I ruined my 3months sober I was sooo hard on myself, so I continued to drink to numb that anger until I realized I was turning back into the pathetic drunk I was fighting so hard to get rid of. So with a lot of determination, made it through the first week. It wasn't easy. I'm 15 Day A/F today and happier than those dark days I started drinking again, Be kind to yourself. All you can do is one day at a time.

One thing I started to do when I lapsed was to write in a jounal when I was drunk at night so the next morning I could read how unhappy and desperate I sounded. It was an eye-opener. LOL Half the time I didn't even remember writing in it, but I always did.

You can do it. It's not easy but you can.