I have to get a grip and get it together!

[toughintexas]

I have been here a long time, and still haven't conquered this beast yet! :upset::upset: I am tons better than the day I got here a couple of years ago, thanks to this site, info., and my friends here. BUT, I have had soooo many things happen to me one after the other, that I just can't string together very many AF days. I have too....I have to learn to deal with my "stuff", grief, kids being so very mean, just wanting to be here in Colorado WITH hubby, trying to get all my eggs in one basket so to speak, in a positive way, not a freakin drinking way. I got back on Campral yesterday, I know I have to give it a week to kick in, I think I'll take an anabuse tomorrow since I had to have a glass of wine today, just to not crater from blowing it Sunday night, on my bday, hubby had to leave, it was way too quiet, knew I wouldn't hear from my kids, so I proceeded to drink too much wine, and I'd been doing so much better...yesterday was a wash, woke up this morning, pissed and praying for help. I have to reach down deep and do this, I know I can, I've done it before, there's no excuses good enuf to continue this crazy self-destruction!!! In fact, there's no reason on earth to do this to myself. It's habit, pure and simple. I just had to tell on myself, get it out, and get with the program again....this madness has no good qualities. Besides that, drinking only makes things WORSE, no way its better in any way, shape or form. I swear, I'm getting this down once and for all!!!! Love you all, sorry I'm not a very good example for anyone right now, but I am trying, and I will do this!!!!

[Marshy]

I have to get a grip and get it together!

Hi Tough,

Good for you for getting your determination together again.

I'd agree with everything you said, except that it's just a habit. It's an addiction - that's why it's so hard to stop. No? And that's why we need to throw everything we've got at it.
What's your plan, apart from the Campral?

You'd be more than welcome to check in on the monthly abs thread for support

[more2life]

I have to get a grip and get it together!

Love you, Girlfriend!! I promise you will feel so much better once you commit yourself to taking anatabuse. You can and will beat this.

M2

[toughintexas]

I have to get a grip and get it together!

Thanks, I know More2, I will pull it together, and I know I have to buckle down again! I will take a half an anabuse tomorrow morning, and another tomorrow night in Houston with hubby.....I know how good it feels to be not in this cycle!!! We will beat this, together!