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    #1

    Doesn't work for everyone

    I am certain that I am one of those people that no program is going to work for. I live my life helping others at work and at Church. My AL situation has spiraled out of control for the past eight years. I think I have tried...really afraid of AA because I live in a smaller town where I have lived all of my life. I so admire all of you who have changed your lives...I just don't have it.

    Lost my daddy...my rock in January. My husband lost his job Mar 1st (this week). Pretty certain I can't take much more. Please pray for my family. Thank you.
    Hope :h
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    #2
    Doesn't work for everyone

    Hi Hopeful mom - nobody is ever beyond hope - try and get as many AF days as you can. Have you tried meds? You can if you really want to.
    make the least of the worst, and the most of the best - everyday.

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      #3
      Doesn't work for everyone

      Hopeful-
      I am sorry for what you have gone through. If you live in a small town, and your AL consumption has gotten so out of control- I would put forth that folks know anyway, so why NOT try AA? Sounds like you could use a little support and I think you would find some there. Let someone else help you- I think that is one of the toughest things that we with alcohol abuse issues deal with, allowing someone to help.
      Since you came and posted here, You know that drinking will not help where you are now. Try very hard and make the next positive decision you can- however small it may seem. Don't drink that next one. And then make another positive decision. One moment at a time. Be gentle with yourself and please let someone help you, be it at AA or just a friend that you can talk to. You may be surprised at what might come your way.
      Take care
      -Sheep

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        #4
        Doesn't work for everyone

        Thanks for the reply. I have tried meds...maybe not the right ones, but at this point since my husband lost his job I can't afford many meds. Maybe I really don't want to overcome this addiction...think I am done and expecting to hear that I will live a short life.
        Hope :h

        Comment

          #5
          Doesn't work for everyone

          Look in your heart and see if you can truly say that you have tried the best you can. I dabbled in brief attempts at sobriety for a year and a half before I actually realized it was NOW or forget my marriage and who knows what else would have happened with my health, my job etc. I had to make a real commitment to make it work in April of last year.With all the tools in this program, starting in AA and getting a therapist, I was able to make it work. No, it wasn't easy and it took a lot of angst to get through the beginning dry day, but it was well worth the effort.

          I truly believe if I could do it that YOU can too. Put your mind to it, you deserve it. Life is better when you get AL off your back and you are able to make decisions for yourself once again, instead of AL making all the decisions for you.

          Good luck

          Winefree

          Comment

            #6
            Doesn't work for everyone

            Hopeful mom;817594 wrote: Thanks for the reply. I have tried meds...maybe not the right ones, but at this point since my husband lost his job I can't afford many meds. Maybe I really don't want to overcome this addiction...think I am done and expecting to hear that I will live a short life.
            Hi Hopeful Mom,

            I think it's fair to say that for many people part of them wants to overcome the addiction and part does not. I know that is true in my case.

            But you came here and you are trying and reaching out and that tells me you do want to overcome this addiction in part. Hang on to that part.

            See if you can just start out with one day. Today is that day for me. It's not easy, but with the great support on this forum it can be done! Perhaps if you are not comfortable with AA you can come to MWO for a while.

            AD

            Comment

              #7
              Doesn't work for everyone

              Thanks folks. You are very kind. I tell myself everyday that i will not drink today; but I always do. If I couldn't do it when my daddy was here 2 months ago or when my husband had the same job for the past 10 years I am certain that it just won't work. I have lost my best friend and the ability to pay my bills comfortably. Thinking 50 is a good age to appreciate the past and let it all go`-
              Hope :h

              Comment

                #8
                Doesn't work for everyone

                Hopeful mom;817600 wrote: Thanks folks. You are very kind. I tell myself everyday that i will not drink today; but I always do. If I couldn't do it when my daddy was here 2 months ago or when my husband had the same job for the past 10 years I am certain that it just won't work. I have lost my best friend and the ability to pay my bills comfortably. Thinking 50 is a good age to appreciate the past and let it all go`-
                I'm 50 too. I understand being 50 and loss and disappointment. I myself have no spouse or job, and I still think it is possible to do this thing, despite so many failed attempts.

                Is it possible you could at least try to go one day and check in here all day?

                Comment

                  #9
                  Doesn't work for everyone

                  Thank you for your response Another Day. I have been here many times before and the friendships haven't happened for me. I am sure its my fault...I am not consistent. I would love to think that reaching out here would change my life, but I've done it too many times. Thank you for resonding.
                  Hope :h

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Doesn't work for everyone

                    Hopeful mom;817604 wrote: Thank you for your response Another Day. I have been here many times before and the friendships haven't happened for me. I am sure its my fault...I am not consistent. I would love to think that reaching out here would change my life, but I've done it too many times. Thank you for resonding.
                    I understand. I really do. I am new here too and don't even have one friend (really) where I live. I've been to so many rehabs and failed. So many groups in real life and people have let me down. It happens. I understand the feeling of too many times, believe me.

                    There have been lots of disappointments, but I know, for me, giving up and giving in means the kind of way I do not want to check out, so I figure I must keep trying.

                    I don't think anything is your fault. It's hard to make friends on the Internet and even IRL, especially at this age.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Doesn't work for everyone

                      Yes Anotherday. It is 11:30 p.m. here, but I will try again tomorrow. Thank you for your encouragement.
                      Hope :h

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Doesn't work for everyone

                        Saying you won't drink everyday and then drinking is part of the disease. I too would say everyday I'm not going to drink today when driving to work, but ALWAYS caved in on my way home and picked up the wine. Why? It was a good day, or it was a bad day, or I'm stressed, or I deserve a break or a reward, maybe it's just the weather. It didn't matter, it was the addiction. It's why the first step in AA is to realize you are powerless over alcohol and your life has become unmanageable. AL is controlling your life. Its the addiction taking hold and you need to break the cycle.
                        I'm not saying that you need to go to AA, but that first step sure makes sense to me.

                        Winefree

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                          #13
                          Doesn't work for everyone

                          Hopeful mom;817606 wrote: Yes Anotherday. It is 11:30 p.m. here, but I will try again tomorrow. Thank you for your encouragement.
                          Good! So will I then too!

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Doesn't work for everyone

                            Thank you Winefree...wine is my weakness and curse as well. And I can certainly relate...good day, bad day, reward, for stress, I have it all. It's almost because I can and no one has any control over me...how ironic that I can think that when al has all control over me. I have honestly never even thought of death, but since I lost my daddy, my best friend in January I really am open to death. Not that I would hurt myself on purpose but I could drink myself to death for sure. Not only that, if I keep this lifestyle up and I am sure I am killing myself anyway.
                            Hope :h

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Doesn't work for everyone

                              No program

                              is going to work. You have to work for 'it'. It, is sobriety. 'It' does take effort. First, I am deeply sorry for the sadness you feel. Amazing how 8 years zip past us. I sympathize with the fact that you can help others but not yourself. I will do tremendous things for others yet not even have the decency to treat myself properly. Please do yourself a favor and ask for help from who ever you feel comfortable with. A close friend or perhaps God. But I tell you there is great friendship created here by our common goal. I would urge you or anybody to stop by and post or just read. There is much to be gained by just thinking about not drinking. Thoughts kick around in your head and sometimes they linger long enough to do us some good. ~~ You take care of yourself and I hope to see you around here again. I will say a prayer to give you hope for better days.
                              ~~~~& I DO think you have it!! Hold on tight and fight for yourself.

                              Comment

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