Had a horrible day yesterday because my husband wanted to drink so bad. He tried to piss me off all day so he would have an excuse to go to the liquor store, but I ignored every insult he threw at me. Got up this morning with the plans to go back home (where our old house is and the rest of my drinking family live) and clean up the house for the renters to move in on Saturday, but he told me straight up he was going to drink so I said I was not going. He left and now I feel terrible because I didn't go. I know he needs the help and it was so hard to put my sobriety before his needs. I am programed to help others and never focus on myself. It feels so selfish, but my sobriety is so important to me. I cannot and will not start over again! I realize he has no intention of stopping drinking and leaving him is not an option, so I have to learn how to live with an acoholic and not drink! I hope that is possible for me.
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I'm not what I should be, I'm not what I could be. I'm definetly not who I want to be,
but I'm sure not who I used to be!
There is no pit so deep that God's love is not deeper still.
"I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME." Phil 4:13 -
4th day AF
You have to put you first - he's sabotaging you. This is why if you're surrounded by addicts you cannot be successful in breaking the cycle. I've found that in my own life. Good luck. -
4th day AF
Wow, what a difficult delimna for you. But you sound really strong and determined! Keep up the good fight! Keep putting yourself first, this is so important!
:goodjob:Comment
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4th day AF
You're in a tough spot and I'm sorry. But I do commend you for putting your sobriety first. It must be very hard to have done this at 4 days. You can't change what he chooses to do but you can take care of you. :goodjob:Comment
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4th day AF
sick of being sick, I have learned this in my own life,that when you live with another alcoholic and they are at a different part of their disease, that they will try to keep you sick, so they don't have to face there own sickness. You can never change another human being but through your own walk in sobriety you can lead him to the truth ,without ever having to say a word. Thinking of you, sick of being sick.
runningwind :lThe greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes of mind. William James (1842-1910)Comment
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