Pity Party

[sick of being sick]

Well, I got up early to go with my husband and he tells me just to stay home because he is going to drink, so I do. Now I feel so guilty for not going to help him and so alone. Can I live with an acoholic? Leaving him is not an option. Forcing him to quit is not an option. I've spent my life trying to please others and I am really finding it hard to put myself and my sobriety first. I feel so selfish. Now I'm just sitting here crying, not knowing what to do. I know I want to stay sober, but is that going to cost me my husband and the rest of my drinking family? How will I ever learn to be around others drinking and be strong enough not to drink?

[mama bear]

Pity Party

Don't mean to sound mean, but why can't you leave him? He is killing you.....

[sick of being sick]

Pity Party

Because I love him so much. He raised my 2 children as his own. He has been there through all my sickness, in and out of hospitals, because of my diabetes. No one would take care of me like he does. Besides, I cannot stand being alone. My brother and sister are both living the single life and I don't wanna go there at all! I've just got to have the strength for the both of us. I want him to get sober, not just for me, but him. He would feel so much better about himself. He apologizes to me every morning after drinking "for being a lousy drunk". I could never leave him. It is not an option at all.

[DeeBee]

Pity Party

Have you tried talking to your husband about your drinking and his? At the end of the day you can't be responsible for him but you can take responsibility for your drinking -- you do have a choice.

[sick of being sick]

Pity Party

I am feeling better now. Maybe I just needed a good cry. It seems as if these supplements are making me very emotional, even though that makes no sense at all. I've been a fighter ever since I started this journey 43 days ago, even the days after I slipped. I haven't been this emotional. I can't figure out why. I am listening to a subliminal cd and feeling very relaxed. Thank all of you for your encouragement.

[Chillgirl]

Pity Party

SOBS - We all have to find our own path to sobrierty and your husband may not yet be ready to go there. I know this makes it tougher on you but by staying sober yourself you will be the best example to him of what being AF can mean.

Please concentrate on yourself and make your no.1 priority staying sober. This way when the time comes you will be able to help and support your husband. He is obviously not happy with his drinking to keep apologizing to you and therefore for now just love him through this.

[mario]

Pity Party

Sobs as all above have said you have to look after yourself first before you can look after anybody else, no longer must someone else's goals guilt us into action,Fill your own expectations first.keep sharing your thoughts & feelings here,we can all help

[KateH1]

Pity Party

SOBS, This is just like the oxygen mask on an airplane, first you have to save yourself, then you can help your husband. You also have to remember that these early days, months and weeks of sobriety are not easy, and often we just choose to stay away from situations and people that we find too stressful to our sobriety. But, in time, being around drinkers will become much easier.

You can do this, just relax, and do what you need to do to take care of yourself these day! Being diabetic makes this even more important to your health!

xxx Kate

[runningwind]

Pity Party

sick of feeling sick, your brain and body are started to come back to life! You are now starting to feel again, this is a good thing. We all have to learn to deal with these new felt emotions in a positive manner. Your doing just fine, just relax with your CD,and let your body heal, it knows what to do. Thinking of you, runningwind

[mama bear]

Pity Party

can you talk to him and take all the booze out of the house???

[sick of being sick]

Pity Party

Thank you all so much. There is no booze in the house. Every day is a struggle to keep it that way. We have talked about this so much together and we both agree to stop, he just can't seem to do it, or he doesn't want to like I do. But I can be stronger for him and for me. I have no choice. I just needed to vent my emotions. I'm okay, now. I won't be drinking today because 1) I do not have a vehicle and it would be a long walk to the store 35 miles away and 2) I do not want to drink today, topmorrow or ever! Love and appreciate all of you!

[Zeppie2]

Pity Party

Hiya Sick - glad you are feeling better - hopefully you will be able to deal with your husbands drinking in the long run, but for now it must be extremely difficult for you.

Let us know how you are getting on and please feel free to vent.