In Limbo

[hillsidetime]

Hi everyone, I hope all is well. I am in Limbo, and could use some of your sage advice. I talked about this in the chat the other night, and it really helped, but I am still struggling a bit.

I am almost 5 weeks af, and I am doing OK. I want to live an af lifestyle. However, right now I am not willing to tell my friends, peopel who offer me a drink, that "I don't drink anymore". Part of it is that I have given the people of my "smallish town" so much to talk about with my screwups when drunk, that I don't want them talking about me more. What I am doing is personal, and I don't want to talk about it with people who have not walked in my shoes. Also I have failed quiting, and modertatin so many times, that I don't know if I trust myself yet either. I am in Limbo a bit. Is this normal?

Any thougths? Thanks,
Hill

[gyco]

In Limbo

hi time what yur doing is personal,ou recognise you havee a problem when u drink,no one has to no,but you,when asked to hav a drink,say youve had enuff and leave it at that,congrats on your 5 weeks,gyco plus they probably no already just because your a nicer human being for doing it

[hillsidetime]

In Limbo

Thanks Gyco, and you might be right. People may have figured it out on their own, or they will in time. Hill

[spuddleduck]

In Limbo

totally get that hillside. i too have given my small town plenty to talk about. for now (20 days yippee) im just keeping out of the way. there was a well known lass here who 'performed' even more than myself, talk of the town, lovely lass with drink problem. she has now not had a drink for over 2 years. she doesnt hang about in her old haunts and she is doing great. ive only talked to her briefly, and i was drunk, she made it clear, in a nice way that she wasnt comfortable around drunken arses. shes doing great and i hope to follow in her footsteps. sod the gossips, this is for me.

[Sweaty Betty]

In Limbo

I think Spuddleduck and Gyco are spot on

I have said before that I was a bit tired of being the 'entertainment' for the evening, which did make some people think about what their expectations of me were, and that maybe they were being unfair in encouraging me to drink.

It took a lot of effort for me to start and socialise AF, but now its just not an issue, except i maybe avoid some folks who have turned out to be very dull after all

You go for what YOU want, sod everyone else!

Bets.
x

[spuddleduck]

In Limbo

if i had a ? for every time someone has said to me, 'hey liven up, have a' drink (this is when i am not sober but less pissed and 'entertaining' than usual) i would be very rich. i now think i dont want to be your F@**ing entertainment and destroy myself. as i said THIS IS FOR ME!! these people are not friends (well, maybe they also have a problem and didnt realise how bad i was inside)

[hillsidetime]

In Limbo

Thanks guys, this does indeed help for sure. You are all correct. Another part of the mystery is that to stay af, no matter how long, you can't reach a set milestone and say for sure you have achieved sobriety. It seems very individualized. So I don't know when I will feel that inside I have done it. I want to stay sober, and at some point I guess I will be living sober long enough, that I will let myself believe I have done it.

And, "sod the gossips", fors sure!
Thanks,
Hill

[mollyka]

In Limbo

Today I spoke the words 'I don't drink' for the first time out loud to someone else. What happened was I was in the kitchen at work at lunchtime and a girl I work with asked me was I going on the 'razz' for Paddys Day and before I knew it I said 'I don't drink'. There was a little pause and then she hurriedly started telling me how much she admired me and all that sh*t, but I did feel good and I think I feel strong enough now to start saying it more.

[hillsidetime]

In Limbo

Hey Mollyka, that is awesome, congrats. For sure you must gain power when you publically say those words. Some day I hope I too, can say those words out loud.
Thanks,
Hill