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    #16
    Sober dating

    Well, here's a short story for you all - you don't always meet different people sober either. A friend of mine that I grew up with had many serious drug problems finally stopped after going to rehab for the 2nd time. She'd had a heroin habit at her worst, with alcohol being the main drug of choice. She had been sober & was doing great & had made a pact to not get involved with anyone until she'd been clean for over 2 years. Then she met someone at work. He was totally straight - they got involved, fell in love & got engaged. She then found out that he too had had a previous problem - cocaine had been his drug of choice though & had also been in rehab & had also been 'relationship free' for over two years to be sure he'd kicked it. so . . . .I told her that really, she'd met the same cute guy at the party, they just didn't have the party materials anymore to assist them in 'getting to know each other' - now it was just their sparkling personalitities! Whatever it was about the two of them that led to addiction in the first place, probably also was something they had in commong anyway. Both are funny & highly intelligent human beings. Also both are still happily married & stayed clean! So, there was a fantastically great ending to that story.

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      #17
      Sober dating

      BTW - they were both in their 30s when they got married, so they'd both been in this addiction cycle awhile before it all righted itself. So, hope is possible.

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        #18
        Sober dating

        HA HA MARSHY!

        Im sorry, I didnt know. So... You may attract a different type of girlfriend!

        Funny Girl, I am old. Been dating for ages. I dont really like dating that much, but sober dating doesnt freak me out at all. Im actually looking forward to it.

        Also, I do not date alot. I think I had two dates in a year!

        That is a great story! I guess you never know where love will find you.

        MARSHY- I hope you have a GREAT date. Do post and tell us how it goes
        I LOVE MY SEROTONIN AND BOOZE SCREWS IT UP!!!!!

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          #19
          Sober dating

          Well Marshy - I hope you have fun too - we can use you as the 'test missile' - come back & tell us your findings! if it all works out, maybe I'll change my tune . . . .Overit seems very positive, so maybe I should think differently . . . . .I'm trying hard . . . ;-)

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            #20
            Sober dating

            I know!! Go letterboxing and take a picnic. Search Results

            I literally got up out of bed for this post. :H
            sigpic
            Thoughts become things..... choose the good ones. ~TUT

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              #21
              Sober dating

              OverIt2007;822376 wrote:
              MARSHY- I hope you have a GREAT date. Do post and tell us how it goes
              Funny Girl;822380 wrote: we can use you as the 'test missile' - come back & tell us your findings! if it all works out, maybe I'll change my tune .
              I will report back later in the week - good or bad!

              greeneyes;822407 wrote:
              I know!! Go letterboxing and take a picnic. Search Results

              I literally got up out of bed for this post. :H
              :H:H Only two in the whole of London? Maybe I ought to plant a few.
              sigpic
              AF since December 22nd 2008
              Real change is difficult, and slow, and messy - Oliver Burkeman

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                #22
                Sober dating

                Hey Marshy - Im so excited for you and I agree that sunday afternoon would be a good choice, at Least in London so much is always going on and coffee bar culture is huge. I agree with the others who have said that if she isnt a big drinker she will not see any big deal in you declining and no elaborate explanation is required for now. If you do make in an evening date then an exhibition of some sort again followed by a coffee bar would be good.

                I havent yet had my 1st sober date and will be interested to hear how you find it, normally I would have had a glass of wine before leaving the house to relax me... The thought of now actually being focused and articulate instead of legless by the end of the night sounds wonderful. Just think, no horrible flashbacks the next morning as to whether you made a fool of yourself, came on too strong or worse.... made another date with them because you were drunk and actually would rather never see them again!
                "In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer ."
                AF - JAN 1st 2010
                NF - May 1996

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                  #23
                  Sober dating

                  chillgirl;822454 wrote: normally I would have had a glass of wine before leaving the house to relax me... The thought of now actually being focused and articulate instead of legless by the end of the night sounds wonderful. Just think, no horrible flashbacks the next morning as to whether you made a fool of yourself, came on too strong or worse.... made another date with them because you were drunk and actually would rather never see them again!
                  I'd forgotten about all the wine before even leaving the house :H
                  I've already made a bit of a fool of myself when I asked her out :H I was SO uncool :H
                  sigpic
                  AF since December 22nd 2008
                  Real change is difficult, and slow, and messy - Oliver Burkeman

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                    #24
                    Sober dating

                    Marshy you will be fine, be your lovely self,drinking is an issue for us alcos here, i find most people couldent care less weather your drinking or not,That was just another illusion in our heads, London is a great city & there will be hudreds of places you can go to.Goodluck


                    :congratulatory: Clean & Sober since 13/01/2009 :congratulatory:

                    Until one is committed there is always hesitant thoughts.
                    I know enough to know that I don't know enough.

                    This signature has been typed in front of a live studio audience.

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                      #25
                      Sober dating

                      Cheers Mario. Yes, London is fabulous but midweek in March all the exhibitions and stuff close about 6ish. Hey ho, we can always go for a walk.
                      sigpic
                      AF since December 22nd 2008
                      Real change is difficult, and slow, and messy - Oliver Burkeman

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                        #26
                        Sober dating

                        A lovely walk along the Embankment?
                        Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
                        Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

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                          #27
                          Sober dating

                          startingover;822485 wrote: A lovely walk along the Embankment?
                          Yes, that's what I was thinking. I love being by the river, and the weather has suddenly perked up.
                          sigpic
                          AF since December 22nd 2008
                          Real change is difficult, and slow, and messy - Oliver Burkeman

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                            #28
                            Sober dating

                            I went for a walk along part of it around Christmas time, it was stunning! And not too cold either
                            Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
                            Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

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                              #29
                              Sober dating

                              Which section?
                              sigpic
                              AF since December 22nd 2008
                              Real change is difficult, and slow, and messy - Oliver Burkeman

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                                #30
                                Sober dating

                                Near Fleet St
                                Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
                                Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

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