Sober dating

[Marshy]

I'll be having my first ever sober first date this week I have always, always, always had a first date in a pub, drinking all evening. That's just how it's done! Isn't it?

So:

1. What to do on a first date instead of sitting in a pub all night? And I want us to be able to talk, so no going to see a film.

2. What to say if the alcohol question comes up? Say, if we go for a meal and she asks if I want wine? I don't want to lie but I don't want to go into all the gory details either and put her off.

Any advice very welcome!

[greeneyes]

Sober dating

Daytime or nightime? Looks like nightime, but daytime might be good for more options.

[cuckoosnest83]

Sober dating

No advice on question # 1 but for question # 2 you could just order water with a twist of lemon. If she asks if you want wine you could say you never really liked the taste of wine. If the relationship becomes serious then would be the time to be forthcoming in all the gory details. Best of luck on your date, Marshy.

[Marshy]

Sober dating

Night, I think. We keep missing each other and leaving messages about when we're free.

[Marshy]

Sober dating

cuckoosnest83;822272 wrote: If she asks if you want wine you could say you never really liked the taste of wine.

Hmm, I wonder if I could keep a straight face saying that :H

[greeneyes]

Sober dating

Maybe see if there is a gallery of some sort open at night with a special showing of something? Antiques? An exhibit of some sort? Then go somewhere for desert and coffee/tea and maybe that'll decrease the chances of wine coming up.

[dancelot]

Sober dating

If the question of wine comes up, just decline. If someone is a normal drinker, I've found they don't care, and don't question it. Or say you don't drink, and leave it at that (say, if they push it at all).

Maybe go somewhere where you're doing something, but can still talk, like the zoo, or botanic garden (assuming it's warm enough where you are), bike riding, horseback riding, an art exhibit, coffeehouse. Some coffee places have live music, but no alcohol.

[KateH1]

Sober dating

I agree with Dancelot, normal drinkers do not seem to notice, nor care if other people are drinking. Order what you like and encourage your date to order what they like. If she asks you why you are choosing something other than alcohol. I would just say, you were in the mood for water with lemon, or whatever your choice is. I don't think a long explaination is called for. Remember there are many people without drinking problems that do not drink alcohol!

Most of all....Enjoy Yourself!!

[Marshy]

Sober dating

Yes, I like these ideas about activities. It would be much easier to do stuff like that during the day, so maybe I'll suggest Sunday afternoon.

[KateH1]

Sober dating

I Vote Greenie, the official MWO Activities Director!!! She always has such great ideas!!

[OverIt2007]

Sober dating

Too Funny!

I was also going to start a thread on sober dating! Too cool.

I am single, and do some internet dating here and there. The internet really is my only option due to being really busy, and a single Mom. Internet dating is ok, I suppose you can find someone on the internet, others have.. just not me yet.

Anyways, a new guy called me last night. Hes a big fitness buff, and a soccar coach for kids.

He is asking me all these questions, and he comes out and says "Do you drink?"

I said, "No, I used to but I recently quit".

He was like thats cool," because I do not like to date girls who drink."

So it dawned on me. Now that I have quit (no plans to return) even in the dating world I might be attracting a different type of person. Maybe a better type of person?

I will always be honest with someone about my drinking, but if I am doing good, I think I should let the past be the past.

UPDATE... MET GUY TODAY. UM NO PHYSICAL ATTRACTION AT ALL!!!!

Hey! Ya gotta at least try

[OverIt2007]

Sober dating

Im sorry Marshy, I did not answer your question very well.

I think that any decent guy would be thrilled with a woman who does not drink. And like I said before, being sober, you may just attract a different type of guy who turns out to be wonderful, and sober!

A sober relationship is a real relationship. You have heard so many others post how they got drunk on the date, ect. It always turns out to be bad.

Be sober and be proud! You may be surprised how impressed your date is with you

[Funny Girl]

Sober dating

It's going to take me a long time of being sober before I'd be able to even consider dating . . . .totally freaks me out . . . .

[Marshy]

Sober dating

OverIt2007;822324 wrote: being sober, you may just attract a different type of guy who turns out to be wonderful, and sober!

Don't reeeally want to attract a guy, what with me being a lesbian and all, but I take your point! :H

And my date is very into health and fitness so I think she'd run a mile if she saw me as I used to be.

[Marshy]

Sober dating

Funny Girl;822343 wrote: It's going to take me a long time of being sober before I'd be able to even consider dating . . . .totally freaks me out . . . .

Yep, it's taken me a long time too. I feel ready now though.