Anyone else with a co-occurring disorder?

[Anotherday]

By this I mean anyone who has the alcohol problem plus a diagnosed psychiatric issue? I am really struggling and realizing that the drinking is just the tip of the iceburg this morning. As hard as it is to conquer the AL beast, I have the other beast waiting for me. I feel like I am going to lose the battle and the war at this point. Drinking that wine destabilized me. I called my therapist to see if he had any cancellations for today and he did not.

Plus, he told me not to be offended if I see him at Starbucks down the road and he doesn't recognize me. Now I am driving myself crazy with that! Was that not an odd thing to say or am I losing my mind?

Ok, I am going to lay down. Today is a bad day.

[rubywillow]

Anyone else with a co-occurring disorder?

Another, that IS an odd thing to say! Ask him next time you see him what he meant, but don't obsess over it; it probably has an innocent explanation! Many of us have medical condition, as well as psychiatric disorders like depression, bi-polar, etc. It all is compounded when we drink. Hang in there. Take one day, and one issue, at a time.
Rubes

[startingover]

Anyone else with a co-occurring disorder?

Hi Another.
Sometimes therapists will say that if they see you outside their meeting rooms they wont acknowledge you to save embarrassment for you.
I would imagine its nothing more sinister than that.
Also, Tiptronic_CT has some experience with issues aside from AL.. Might be worth dropping him a pm.
I had depression along with my al issues and I still get help with that, but its manageable.

[brittzak]

Anyone else with a co-occurring disorder?

That is not an odd thing to say at all. Therapy is CONFIDENTIAL. It is no different than going to an AA meeting...I dont want one of the fellow AA memebers to walk up and ask if I will be at the next meeting...I may be with someone I don't want to know about my issues.

I too had severe depression and an alocohol problem. The booze made me not think about it, but it got to the point that I was drunk pretty much 24/7. Well my God, I had to sober up. Once I did and delat with things...I haven't touched a drop since. It is painful and for about a week I cried non-stop. I still take anti-d's and something to sleep, but I feel like a new person.

[Anotherday]

Anyone else with a co-occurring disorder?

rubywillow;826760 wrote: Another, that IS an odd thing to say! Ask him next time you see him what he meant, but don't obsess over it; it probably has an innocent explanation! Many of us have medical condition, as well as psychiatric disorders like depression, bi-polar, etc. It all is compounded when we drink. Hang in there. Take one day, and one issue, at a time.
Rubes

He meant that I am one out of 100s of people he sees. I get that but it still bugs me I guess.

I have been diagnosed with bipolar yet only once in a while do I feel crazy - like earlier this a.m. so I slept. I go to a group and everyone sure looks normal enough and you'd never know. Still, the stigma is out there and it's a shame. It is so odd to sit in a room of people who only have half of this going on. I don't get how they don't self medicate and I am quite sure they don't get why I have. At times I'll look at someone with a BP diagnosis and say "I am not one of you!" No! I don't say this out loud just to myself. This only happens with the really crazy ones. I never do that with the alcohol people as I find most alcohol people to be quite normal when not drinking.

[dancelot]

Anyone else with a co-occurring disorder?

Hey, Anotherday -

I have severe ADHD (combined type, primarily inattentive) and was undiagnosed until age 49. Now that I'm sober for a period of time, I need to get that back under control. It was one of my biggest reasons to stop drinking - they would no longer prescribe the medication I'd taken for 5 years because my blood pressure was too high. I knew it was not the ADD meds but the excessive alcohol (which was my old self medication before I knew what was wrong with me). Guess what? My blood pressure is great now (I was right).

I'm not saying everyone has it, but at AA meetings, I suspect a lot of people do and don't know it. One guy said something how he'd been told and it was true for him, that alcoholic's minds just go 100 times faster than other peoples. There is a lot of fidgeting, which is how hyperactivity tends to show up in adults when required to sit still. There are several people that get up and go in and out of the room for coffee like 2 or 3 times in an hour. The one time I forgot my little notebook to write in (I can't sit still and listen without writing, doodling, or drawing) I nearly ran out of the room. I can't watch TV without doing the same thing, and sitting through a movie is torment - all I do is look at the shapes of people, the ceiling, the lights on the floor, hear the vibrating wall from the movie next door and wonder what it is. I sure do like DVDs that can be watched in segments over a period of days.

ADD meds are usually stimulants which do not make an ADD person jittery but calm, and causes your thoughts to slow down enough to connect them. I honestly thought I was so fucking crazy before I knew what ADHD was. Everyone I knew was on some antidepressant or anti anxiety drug and I didn't understand since I was the only crazy one. Once I learned what ADD was, it was like all the pieces of the puzzle fell into place.

I think my alcohol problem was worse because of these issues. I know my drinking escalated when I wasn't on meds any more. Part of that was I was so damn depressed over having 5 years of a real life, and going back to a very difficult and energy draining way of living.

I think I'm reasonably coherent when writing (only because I can see it). In person I might come off dumber than a door knob or like a chattering monkey. I have been described as "like talking to a wall" or "like watching TV", or (my fave), "please give this girl to Andy Warhol". Some "normal" types think I need reminding, like it's something I can change. I can't - really. I describe myself as having the social skills of a flea.

On the plus side, I'm spontaneous, creative, imaginative, have unique problem solving skills as long as they don't have to do with math or cleaning.

I did buy a book the other day or ADD and addiction, and it does make clear, if the condition isn't treated as well, the addiction issues will be more difficult to treat.

Anyway, those are my issues. I know everyone's got something. I think that's one reason we hold on to alcohol. Figuring out and solving other things is so much bigger than just stopping drinking. :h

[Anotherday]

Anyone else with a co-occurring disorder?

Dancelot,

They say up to 60% of substance abusers have a co-occurring disorder and many are not diagnosed which is why they keep on relapsing. I have noticed the up and down in AA but I attribute a lot of it to caffeine and restlessness. I myself am a doodler and have a hard time focusing and completing tasks. My Dr. wanted me to get tested for ADHD but I can't afford it and he won't do meds without the testing. I am glad you are being treated for yours.

At any rate, there are lots of us out there but few groups that deal with co-occurring. I wish there were more resources.

AD

[dancelot]

Anyone else with a co-occurring disorder?

You might want to look at Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Forums - it is a site somewhat similar to MWO, but larger. There is a lot of information there.

I've spent a lot of time in the ADD therapists office watching everyone else, especially if they are running behind schedule (regarding the fidgeting). It's sort of laughable while at the same time unnerving to see, even though I do it too. I think that's where I see the similarity in some AA people. That and the warp speed brain and how many have always felt different, and are pretty clueless about communication and social skills. I just see a lot of similarities, so my inquiring mind wonders (on days it's functioning!).

I'm not currently being treated, for the same reason (can't afford it). I hope to soon, though, and need to make it a priority (wish me good luck with that - planning and goals are pretty non existent in my world!). I do think if that's a little more controlled, other parts of my life will be easier. :h

[Anotherday]

Anyone else with a co-occurring disorder?

dancelot;826838 wrote: You might want to look at Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Forums - it is a site somewhat similar to MWO, but larger. There is a lot of information there.

I've spent a lot of time in the ADD therapists office watching everyone else, especially if they are running behind schedule (regarding the fidgeting). It's sort of laughable while at the same time unnerving to see, even though I do it too. I think that's where I see the similarity in some AA people. That and the warp speed brain and how many have always felt different, and are pretty clueless about communication and social skills. I just see a lot of similarities, so my inquiring mind wonders (on days it's functioning!).

I'm not currently being treated, for the same reason (can't afford it). I hope to soon, though, and need to make it a priority (wish me good luck with that - planning and goals are pretty non existent in my world!). I do think if that's a little more controlled, other parts of my life will be easier. :h

Dancelot, I do hear you there. They tell me that because I got a master's degree I am not ADHD. Well, that was 18 years ago! I have so many calendars and so many things I can't finish and I have had my water and electricity turned off due to not paying bills on time that it's just pathetic! I've had the money. I just don't do it! I walk around my house and never get anything done. Yet I don't have the $500 for the testing. I cannot focus is what it comes down to! Oh well. I do hope you get the funds soon to treat yourself.

AD

[dancelot]

Anyone else with a co-occurring disorder?

Anotherday - Yeah, it's interesting how the fact we can't manage the "little" things that add up to living a functional life is somehow of lessor importance! AARGH! I felt that way when I couldn't get my meds anymore. I know the health risks, I have seen them firsthand, and while I do appreciate them, fear them, etc, it's my quality of life! But I suppose if it motivated me to stop drinking, that's a good thing.

There are lots of people with lots of education that have ADD (as well as many that don't). On the ADD Forums there are people with law degrees, people in medical school, etc. My brother has it (undiagnosed, but he's got it), also has a master's degree. He took a lot of years to get through school, but he did. Something my therapist told me about ADD was that intelligent people find ways to work around it. If you're not, you probably end up in prison.

I can't even conceive of learning anything easily without being on medication. My dressage training was a thousand times easier on medication. I could actually hear and process what was said in real time on a moving horse. Which is a hell of a lot easier than trying to remember, write down ASAP, and try to duplicate on my own with no immediate feedback from a ground person.

I used to go to a lot of riding clinics with a different trainer and my friend would tape me. She said she could tell when my focus was gone because I would start chattering. She'd tell the trainer (who used to be a special education teacher) to keep teaching (even though I couldn't do hardly anything she asked), she'd tape, I'd watch later (since I no longer could hear or process information), thereby getting my full lesson in. Whatever works!

Also, I didn't mean to derail your thread. It's such a great topic and sure thought provoked me!

[Anotherday]

Anyone else with a co-occurring disorder?

dancelot;826863 wrote: Anotherday - Yeah, it's interesting how the fact we can't manage the "little" things that add up to living a functional life is somehow of lessor importance! AARGH! I felt that way when I couldn't get my meds anymore. I know the health risks, I have seen them firsthand, and while I do appreciate them, fear them, etc, it's my quality of life! But I suppose if it motivated me to stop drinking, that's a good thing.

There are lots of people with lots of education that have ADD (as well as many that don't). On the ADD Forums there are people with law degrees, people in medical school, etc. My brother has it (undiagnosed, but he's got it), also has a master's degree. He took a lot of years to get through school, but he did. Something my therapist told me about ADD was that intelligent people find ways to work around it. If you're not, you probably end up in prison.

I can't even conceive of learning anything easily without being on medication. My dressage training was a thousand times easier on medication. I could actually hear and process what was said in real time on a moving horse. Which is a hell of a lot easier than trying to remember, write down ASAP, and try to duplicate on my own with no immediate feedback from a ground person.

I used to go to a lot of riding clinics with a different trainer and my friend would tape me. She said she could tell when my focus was gone because I would start chattering. She'd tell the trainer (who used to be a special education teacher) to keep teaching (even though I couldn't do hardly anything she asked), she'd tape, I'd watch later (since I no longer could hear or process information), thereby getting my full lesson in. Whatever works!

Also, I didn't mean to derail your thread. It's such a great topic and sure thought provoked me!

No worries! It's a sign of being ADHD to get diverted on other stuff, right? So no derail at all! It took me seven years to get my master's. Of course, I came from a liberal arts background so I had to work full time and do all the math, accounting, etc and it just took time to get my MBA.

It is frustrating. Gosh, I have had so many diagnoses. The primary and overrriding one has always been the AL thing though and that is what I have to focus on for today.

[JimBeam911]

Anyone else with a co-occurring disorder?

AD,

I also am a card-carrying BiPolar sufferer. I have had incredible, dangerous highs followed by crippling lows that were of course exacerbated by alcohol. Alcohol and this particular condition do not mix well. Drinking during a manic cycle is one of the most dangerous things you can do, as many of my 'lucky to still be alive' reflections on my own manic behaviour illustrate. I don't bother with therapy, as frankly I find most psychiatrists/therapists to be fools, but taking a mood stabilizer compliantly has really helped me, even when I made the dangerous decision to continue drinking while taking it. Without alcohol this condition can be quite burdensome, but lots of people manage it with the right medication.

[KatieB]

Anyone else with a co-occurring disorder?

JimBeam911;827009 wrote:

I don't bother with therapy, as frankly I find most psychiatrists/therapists to be fools.

LOL - I agree JB.. though some are fantastic - it took me several years and several therapists later that I found the amazing one I have now.. he's the best..
I have BPD (borderline personality disorder) - AL seemed to help in the short term with my issues of depression and low self-esteem and social anxiety - but in the long term I have made the biggest mistakes of my life by self-medicating with AL.. i should have kept looking for a decent therapist without AL.. and dealt with my core issues rather than "masking" them with AL..

[Gold]

Anyone else with a co-occurring disorder?

Who decides what is normal, acceptable, a disorder? Why are there so many more 'conditions' than ever before? So much credence is given to science and expert opinion that it doesn't allow for common sense.

We are seeing an unprecedented level of control being placed upon us by government, society, media, and the medical profession, and what better way to control a populace than by dividing and separating them into categories of what is acceptable and what is not.

When I listen to apparent experts there are so many holes in their information I wonder why they are considered expert, I do not see how intense study or speculation on a single area of difficulty can stand alone without taking into account all aspects of the person. There are so many branches of medicine now and a plethora of diseases that when you read symptoms of one it could also be many others.

Why is so much money spent on illness? I do not believe that humans are as flawed as we are led to believe.

It is not natural for us to be surrounded by unatural noises, bombarded with information, polluted by electric light, television, electrical devices, and a forced society that says you have to be a particular way, have this, do that, work in certain careers.

This is a time of remarkable change and upheaval, and there is much deception designed to confuse and demoralise as a result.

We have to focus on the good things in ourselves, intelligence, sensitivity and so on, and if that is not what the majority of society values then we find a niche for ourselves. It is important not to allow the judgement of others to have power over us, it is our own inner power which is important not something outside of us.

[Guest]

Anyone else with a co-occurring disorder?

I agree, if I had the money or health insurance to go for therapy for my personal problems of self esteem, depression, etc., etc. I probably would. But i know in the end, any intake of alcohol at all is going to take me so far down into depression. But ya tell me that when I am so far down, seems just one drink would alleviate the pain I am in! The crutch alcohol has been for me.

In my last marriage I was on Wellbutrin for 4 years, kept me from crying. But I had to eventually leave that marriage to understand, I don't need a drug to keep me from crying, I just need to admit I failed at choosing a life partner.

I think depression drugs and alcohol keep us from facing our lives. We don't want to admit, we made an honest mistake in a career, move or marriage. It causes us normal depression. I read an interesting article about depression......it is a normal response to our unhappiness or the failure of a situation we find ourselves in. It is healthy to feel it , it should make us want to make changes. Instead, we go into depression, take anti-depressants or drink , to mask the feelings so we do not have to make those uncomfortable changes. It keeps us from changing!

As I get older and go on with life, I so agree with this synopsis. We avoid.

No pill, no therapy is going to solve our life problems. We, in the end have too, or spend our lives taking pills, drinking, only exasperating the problems.

I'm right there doing that now, just becoming each day more aware of it! Being less, does not render more.:h