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Trying to get back on track!

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    Trying to get back on track!

    Woke up this morning knowing this has to end. I can't go on any longer drinking nightly, and facing the next day with nothing but guilt and a sense of failure that weighs heavy on my brain, not to mention the physical side effects of drinking. I am a HFA( high functioning alcoholic) as I believe many of us here are. My drinking has gotten worse and I believe it is heading in a very bad direction. Coming from a family of addicts I thought I could dodge the addiction bullet...nope! Truth be told I am an alcoholic thru and thru. The evenings are the hours at which I choose to drink, and it is about 5 pm I become weak. The brain starts talking me into just one glass of wine....well we all know where it goes from there. So I had success with MWO in the past, although never really af. I decided to try Baclofen I ordered it today and I figure it will be here in a few weeks. My plan is to start cutting back prior the Bac arrival, then diving in head first. I am hoping to find that person I use to be....I can't wait to be reunited with her. I look forward to getting to know everyone, and I plan on visiting here as often as I can! I will keep you posted!

    #2
    Trying to get back on track!

    Good for you doing something different if your previous attempts didn't get you sober. It's been a real learning experience for me realizing just how huge the % of "high functioning" alcoholics really is. It touches people in every walk of life - nobody is immune.

    Do whatever it takes. It's worth it.

    DG
    Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
    Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


    One day at a time.

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      #3
      Trying to get back on track!

      Way to go Gumby. From one HFA to another! This past few weeks has been wonderful. So congratulations. Go for it! It is worth it. I'm looking forward to getting to know you as we rediscover ourselves.
      "Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.".....Carol Burnett
      ..........
      AF - 7-27-15

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        #4
        Trying to get back on track!

        Hey Gumby, I was a HFA as well, and I am also trying to find my old self. Being af really has helped me start to figure things out. All the best, you can do it.
        Hill
        Sober since Feb 7, 2010.

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          #5
          Trying to get back on track!

          Gumby, you can do it!! I too have been back and forth on this site for a couple of years and the progress is there. I used to drink 4-5 nights a week, felt horrible every morning, but always went to work (with a few exceptions - 3) and functioned in every way. It was a huge secret, something that I worked on no one knowing.

          Long term I am currently 17 days AF and never drink during the week. It has taken some time to figure out a plan and stick with it. I have told myself that I DON'T DRINK. I am posting here daily, making specific plans for the weekends, and commiting ODAT to be AF. I am tired of the hypocrisy on my part, the damage to my body and soul, and the feelings of anxiety and depression. AF I can manage my life, feel healthy, laugh daily, and have integrity and respect. But the progress has taken time and effort. I feel that I will only be a failure if I give up.

          Keep trying, we are here for you, do whatever it takes. AF has to be priority.
          Redhibiscus
          ______________________________

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            #6
            Trying to get back on track!

            Gumby, Blessings on your journey. One thing jumped out to me from your post. "I am hoping to find that person I use to be....I can't wait to be reunited with her."
            I have also thought about that same idea, but my idea has been changing....because the person I use to be was one that was headed down a path of addiction. I have decided not to look back but look forward, I look forward to meeting the new me. I am growing and striving to be the woman I want to be. There will be attributes of the old "me" there but I want to develop the new ME!
            Just a thought....

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              #7
              Trying to get back on track!

              Flyinhigh....I like it, you are right. I'm not sure I want to meet the old, but what I might have become...without the addiction inbetween...ya know what I mean?? I kinda remember who I was, but am curious aout who I am. I lost that person long ago. This is motivation that I soooo need! I'm looking forward to a clearer future! Thx

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                #8
                Trying to get back on track!

                hmm.. i was looking forward to meeting the old me, but its quite true that she was headed for addictions, so i look forward to meeting the old me with the knowledge i have now x
                Today is the tomorrow i worried about yesterday and it turned out fine
                Keep passing the open windows

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