Marriage....

[IAD]

Don't marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can't live without." ( That's what I did ! Ha!)
Dr. James C. Dobson

[rubywillow]

Marriage....

Joyce Brothers:
My husband and I have never considered divorce... murder sometimes, but never divorce.



Ogden Nash:
To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you're wrong admit it;
Whenever you're right shut up.



Rita Rudner:
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

[IAD]

Marriage....

IAD

[IAD]

Marriage....

Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet.

[DisEase]

Marriage....

Since my drinking seems to be in check with Nal (thank you nal - I love you and the control over alcohol you have given me the past few months) I feel free to do so much more in life instead of worrying if I am going to drink tonight, or if I made an as* of myself last night, or just waking up to nurse my awful hangover! I love that I have the clarity and peace of mind to actually comment on wonderful threads like this!

I have often wondered whether it is better to marry "safe" or for "passion". I have always dated men who were safe. Responsible, secure, even tempered, predictable, trustworthy, etc. But I have ALWAYS been drawn to the type of guy who lives a bit on the edge. The one who was spontaneous, who crossed the line sometimes, who could be irresponsible (which could be fun, at times), they guy who was unpredictable, the one who didn't necessarily call me when he said he would, the one who didn't always see things the way I did and WOULD STAND HIS GROUND instead of "agreeing to disagree" with me. I have always been attracted to the one that was a challange. I use to not date him, because there was always an air of danger in . I may go out with that type of guy, because I have always been attracted to that, but I knew better than to get into a relationship with someone like that. At least I use to!!! In the end that is the type of guy I married.

A bit of an a side, but I never dated anyone who drank (and my hubby is a full fledge alcoholic). I never dated guys who drank because I drank and I figured someone needed to get me home safe and sound! I could not count on myself to stay in control so I always dated men who were in control. Then I was sort of free to be irresponsible. I use to be very logical...way back when....

Anyways, my hubby was not "safe" but boy was he was exciting!!! After feeling like I had lived in a very routine, black and white, very predictible world with the men I dated all my life, he was the one that came along and rocked my world, the one I did not think I could live without!

But now...I wonder if safe and predictible, though boring at times, would have been a better way to go? Especially since we have kids and I NEED for him to be that rock, that role model, that reliable father and husband who creates a safe and secure environment for our children. I do love my husband. And when it is good it is GREAT. But when it is bad - it is World War III! No there is never a dull moment in my marriage. Never, ever. If there is, it is because one of us is sleeping! And I clearly set things up that way. But now, now I sometimes really long for a dull, predictable, black and white life. My husband exhausts me. No, he does not bore me but some days I really wish for the guy that was not so much work - all day long.

I have talked to girlfriends about this and it seems that the grass is always greener. The ones that married "smart" wished they married for passion and often talk about having affairs/leaving when the kids are old enough, and those of us that married for passion...well sometimes, 8 years into it, let's just sat that Mr. Cleaver is a total turn on to me!!!

[GoodAsGold]

Marriage....

Thanks IAD 4 this thread

Dis, thanks 4 ur very eloquent & illuminating observations & 4 sharing. Food for thought, I'll be back...

Love 2 all, keep safe
Gold xxx

[~EVA~]

Marriage....

Love, Lust and Marriage
LOVE - When your eyes meet across a crowded room.
LUST - When your tongues meet across a crowded room.
MARRIAGE - When you try to lose your spouse in a crowded room.

LOVE - When you argue over how many children to have.
LUST - When you argue over who gets the wet spot.
MARRIAGE - When you argue over whose idea it was to have kids.

LOVE - When you share everything you own.
LUST - When you steal everything they own.
MARRIAGE - When the bank owns everything.

LOVE - When your only concern is for your partner's feelings.
LUST - When your only concern is to find a room with mirrors all around.
MARRIAGE - When your only concern is what's on TV.

LOVE - When you are proud to be seen in public with your partner.
LUST - When you only see each other naked.
MARRIAGE - When you never see each other awake.

LOVE - When your heart flutters every time you see them.
LUST - When your groin twitches every time you see them.
MARRIAGE - When your wallet empties every time you see them.

LOVE - When you're only interested in doing things with your partner.
LUST - When you're only interested in doing things TO your partner.
MARRIAGE - When you're only interested in your golf score.

LOVE- You only leave the house to buy coffee and croissants.
LUST- You only leave the house to buy condoms.
MARRIAGE- You only leave the house when you're allowed to.
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[rubywillow]

Marriage....

Great posts, all. Dis, I have to admit Hubs did all the chasing, wouldn't go away no matter what, so, 40 years ago in August, we married, had a son 9 mos later! I can honestly say if he had not loved me SO much, our lives might have run a dif course, but he has stuck by me 'for better or for worse'. I can't imagine life without him, though there have been times I wanted to hold a pillow over his face REALLY hard! (And he's felt the same, I'm sure.) I've put him through hell, and he's not perfect by any means. But over time, experience, living life, I've discovered that love comes in many different forms, and, while passion is wonderful, better is the truth, honesty, dedication, and just purely enjoying someone's company.

[IAD]

Marriage....

My Wife is my best friend ! She puts up with my foolishness and short comings ! Ha! She's heard all my jokes and laughs in spite of that ....People tell her how do you live with this man ! ha! She says "Don't know....just do" ! Ha! IAD

[rubywillow]

Marriage....

She's a doll, Tony.

[IAD]

Marriage....

Thanks Ruby......23 years April 11th.....Ha! IAD

[rubywillow]

Marriage....

IAD;828935 wrote: Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet.

Not sure if that's true, hon.:H

[dancingon]

Marriage....

I married the dangerous, Type A personality too - lots of good times and lots of heartbreak on both sides. At least we managed 21 years before it ended, and had 4 great kids. Doesn't exactly make me want to rush out there again though.

I'm reading a book at the moment called Suddenly Single, by Julia Hartley Moore. She's worked as a private detective so has some insight into the games people play. I thought the book was going to be about legalities. However, it puts the ball squarely in the woman's court and asks what sort of guys you choose (and why you keep on choosing the same sort) and so many women let them off the hook, instead of confronting. Very interesting.

[IAD]

Marriage....

Dancin'.......I was married 9 yrs. after a divorce.........we went our seperate ways ! My way and her way.....never the twain shall meet ! Ha! I found a woman that was more like I was.....been married for 23 years know......Have 3 kids..life is good ! IAD

[rubywillow]

Marriage....

We're some of the lucky ones, IAD. I had the opportunities to go a diff way, but couldn't bring myself to do it, thank GOD. I don't know that I could ever trust anyone like I do Hubs.