Anyway, its not been easy, but its also not that hard, I really do think that I have the choice this time ? carry on drinking and die or stop and live. I want to live. At the end of that last binge my kidneys and liver were aching badly, I couldn?t sleep, I looked terrible and there is no doubt I was losing my sanity.
I would say that of the 9 weeks I have been without a drink its taken me about 6 to feel normal. Yes I gradually felt better the moment I stopped drinking, but weeks and weeks into sobriety I still had sweats and felt weak and shaky, albeit less and less. I think I?ve been pretty much normal for the last 3 but am trying to eat well and take vitamins and exercise and it?s an ongoing battle.
I sleep much better now and keep food in my stomach for more than an hour, I argue much less as I?m not drunk all the time, I feel 100 times better and stronger but I do miss drinking, even come the end - it was the euphoria it gave me for 10 minutes. I miss that. I don?t miss the despair that it gave me for 10,000 terrible minutes for each of the good 10. I AM going to keep sober.
Thank you all for helping me, I may not post all the time, but I read and think of you all.
:h
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