My Husband Wants a Divorce

[Reenie]

I'm besides myself. I have promised my husband time and time again that I won't drink, only to do it, and cause great chaos in our marriage. Has anyone gotten divorced as a result of their drinking? I think my marriage is really doomed this time.

[rubywillow]

My Husband Wants a Divorce

Reenie, I'm so sorry. My beleagured Hubs held on, for many reasons, I guess. We are finally coming out on the other side, but AL claims MANY, MANY more than are spared. I know that here in the US, AL can really be used during a divorce, so, if he's serious, start right away to protect yourself with a good attorney. I don't know any details of your marriage, but a lot depends on a lot! (Sorry not to have more details.) Again, I'm so sorry, and I pray maybe you can work things out, if you still both love each other.
Rubes

[rubywillow]

My Husband Wants a Divorce

BTW, I read you were going to start Campral again. Good. Start NOW. No matter what happens, do not find an excuse to drink again. :hug:

[brightlite]

My Husband Wants a Divorce

Reenie,

You are not only taking away from the relationship, you are also not added to it.. and making it grow. (Sorry if it sounds critical) The distance between those two points is the nebulous area that your husband lives in. Just try to bring the one point closer to the other. Add some value while also trying to reduce the drinking and bad things that happen.

Just my thoughts, I know it's easier said than done. Put yourself in your husband's shoes....what does he need to move in a forward direction.

[IAD]

My Husband Wants a Divorce

Reenie......We've all been through something like this. Job loss, Divorce, family rejection....The hurt is always pretty bad. Have you tried AA , maybe that might help him stick around....you'll get support their too ! Make sure that that's the reason for him wanting a divorce.......men can be slime balls and use this for a excuse ! I know men.......Hang in their....great support here ! IAD

[mama bear]

My Husband Wants a Divorce

I am so sorry Reenie

[Reenie]

My Husband Wants a Divorce

Thanks everyone. My alcohol abuse is certainly the main reason why he wants a divorce. The next reason would be, he's a man's man. He's always out fishing, hunting and working in general. We don't have children. My drinking doesn't bring added value to this marriage. I agree with what you all have written. I'm also in agreement with "putting myself in his shoes". I would want a divorce too. My mother had a troubled past with aloholism, mental illness and homelessnes. She recently passed away from Pancreatic Cancer. My husband's fear is that "I'm like her" or I'm going to wind up like her. I REALLY wrecked a good marriage/good man.

[rubywillow]

My Husband Wants a Divorce

Maybe there's hope, Reenie. Sit down and REALLY talk to him, but don't make promises you can't keep, just a commitment to get REAL help.

[Cinders]

My Husband Wants a Divorce

OMG Reenie.

My husband just wants met ho be okay.

No if ands or buts.

That is all he wants.

I have a loving husband, though.

Figure out what you need to do and screw the rest of the world.
I hate to say that but that is where I am.

[gyco]

My Husband Wants a Divorce

yo

[QUOTE=Reenie;835165]Thanks everyone. My alcohol abuse is certainly the main reason why he wants a divorce. The next reason would be, he's a man's man. He's always out fishing, hunting and working in general. We don't have children. My drinking doesn't bring added value to this marriage. I agree with what you all have written. I'm also in agreement with "putting myself in his shoes". I would want a divorce too. My mother had a troubled past with aloholism, mental illness and homelessnes. She recently passed away from Pancreatic Cancer. My husband's fear is that "I'm like her" or I'm going to wind up like her. I REALLY wrecked a good marriage/good man.[/QUOTEhi rennie,this isnt about your husband or mother,you,and only you, ive been married for 34 years,thro good and bad,both of us,i remember my vows so well,thro sickness,comes last,and normmally the heath which we have comes 1st,the sickness we have have,is like no other,ive been doing this for years b4 i even new it,sometimes as cindy says,if its over,its over,i do so wish you well gyco

[gertrude mcfuzz]

My Husband Wants a Divorce

My heart goes out for you. The thread here about "what is your Al Free plan?" is great. I think you need to get a plan, tell your husband your plan and then show him you are sticking to it.

My husband used to make excuses for my drinking and help cover it up, now he tells it as it is to anyone and it is definitely embarrassing. I am 6 days AF and very hopeful this time. I sat down last night and told him my plan and I could tell how happy he was.

xx

[IAD]

My Husband Wants a Divorce

Gertrude.....keep up the good work ! Do what ever it takes to keep yourself sober ! AA meetings MWO......it's one hell of a fight.....for the rest of our lives ! IAD

[Gearhead]

My Husband Wants a Divorce

Just 1 year past mine. Alcohol was not the reason it happened or a catalyst but it sure fucked it up for a while as I was navigating through the difficult times-- whatever is going down I'd dry spell this one out. Either the relationship is in dire need of your full capacity, or your well-being needs full attention during the breakup. Either way, AL should be avoided at all costs. Best of luck,
gear

[catch22]

My Husband Wants a Divorce

Reenie, Im so sorry to hear that !:l I know my husband said if i carrying on the way i am he will pack his bags, He knows im getting help now. I got to say the house is a lot better living in now. It is a AF house now. Like gertrude mcfuzz said if he know you got a plan !
Wishing you all the best and hope it all works out for you.x

[Reenie]

My Husband Wants a Divorce

I discussed my plan with my husband last night. He told me he's heard it before. This time around my actions need to speak louder than words. My plan: Therapy (appointment set), Campral (appointment set), AA meeting and I will get a sponsor. Thank you all for being there for me.