WHOO!!! Nothing like waking a sleeping bear who has a lot on his mind, and who has to go back to work tonight AND tomorrow nights bc of the fuk up (pardon my French) that happened while he was away. He'll call in a bit and tell me he's sorry for being cross, but I'm not thinking I'll be so forgiving! I truly understand about his pressure; I've been there, and of course I was not the main breadwinner in the family. But I'm standing up to him now, telling him NOT to be such a titty baby, and TRY to understand what I do to keep home tomgether.
Actually, HE'S the one who allows the money to hemorragh to the undeserving. I've wanted to cut some things off for years, so, what do you think? Am I being to hard? I'm not his maid, or his mother.
I've exhausted myself trying to get him to look at my suggestions, and he's fought most. The one's we've done have worked out for the best. I have to admit, to you, my friends, he has issues with admitting he was wrong, or respecting what and who was right. Though I'm home, not bringing a weekly paycheck (which he was taught was sancritsat), I won't go back into what I've brought to us. Yes! I'm mad!!! I've tried to work thru this amicably, but once I put my foot down, he balks, but starts to think.
I don't want anyone to think badly of him. His family was just plain damn weird. He told me once when we were dating and I was at a family function, he drove past several times, jealous of what we had. His parents are self-absorbed, favor my son over my daughter, and I'm not doing this stuff anymore.
I KNOW how hard he works. I understand what pressure he's under. But I WILL not be his pressure relief system, and he's lost. He had a dinner of homemade chicken wings, ice cream, and took a lunch with him when he left that I made. But he's tried to use me as the emotional punching bag, and THAT ain't gonna work. I have to learn to help him direct his frustrations and expectations elsewere, and I'm working on that.
Again, I'm sorry to use this as my 'diary'. It's just that I love and trust you all. Since I've been to MWO, he's had some BIG adjust to make to my attitude. (Before you ask, NO, he would never be physically abusive to me). He just doesn't KNOW how to deal with real life. Oh, what his parents taught him is a REAL book1
This will all be over in a little, and I'll regret posting this, but, again, right now I'm MAD! His parents (he's an only child) are just weird. Hate everyone, dote on him, etc. God help him if I get to pick fil's nursing home! But at THIS moment, it is wonderful to pour it all out to my friends. That's what we are, friends. I wish our lurkers would understand this and join us, because your problems are accepted.
WHOOOOOOOOOoooooo! I feel so much better. Sorry again for burdening you with my trivial troubles. I know so many are much more serious. But I got that out. And that is just the tip of the iceburg in try to help him, a good man, learn to love people and life. Hope this was ok, not upsetting to anyone.
All of you,you ROCK! Maybe this can be an inspiration that no one is immune from daily problems. I LOVE my husband, and he love me. We are just still working on past patterns, establishing more healthy ones. AL is not part of my life now, but is still for him (not to excess, normal) So there have been many bumps.
I'm sorry for the long post. Hard to really explain it all quickly. Thank you, people. You have taken me past blackout to positive. And we'll deal with this too.
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