I started my outpatient treatment today and it felt very empowering to do something so apparent and so responsible for my recovery. I am in a very small group with a high functioning group of alcoholics. I immediately related to a younger version of myself with the same husband controlling issues. I think we can help each other.
However, this is change and that always triggers me. When I was with hubby in ICU I developed horrible neck and shoulder pain with what I feel is a pinched nerve, due to extreme tension and his treatment of me. It's hard to push back when your spouse is receiving blood and dilaudin!
I still have the pain during the night and first thing in the a.m. but a warm shower helps alot. I felt like drinking when I came home, but thanks to the antabuse, I wasn't able to. My doc will see me Wednesday.
However, I have digressed. This post is about how surrendering to any patient care is positive.
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