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    #1

    why is it?

    when you want, you cant get it and when you can you dont want it?

    Dont know what to do they want me to have a one to one counselling session but i dont

    know why i dont want to, is because im 3months and i think im ok or is it because im

    afraid ? I have been to one to one sessions before so i dont know why im feeling like this.

    Anyone else felt like this ? and find that afterwards they benefit from it?
    Formerly known as Teardrop:l
    sober dry since 11th Jan '2010' relapse/slip on 23/7/13 working in progress ! Sober date 25/7/13 ( True learning has often followed an eclipse, a time of darkness, but with each cycle of my recovery, the light grows stronger and my vision is clearer. (AA)
    my desire to avoid hitting bottom again was more powerful then my desire to drink !
    Tags: None
    #2
    why is it?

    B/C the spotlight's on you, dear. Give it a chance, be honest, and see what happens. You can always stop later. Could be the best thing ever. Good luck!
    sigpic
    Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
    awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

    Comment

      #3
      why is it?

      Thanks Rubys.x
      After writing this thread i had to go back, to answer there questionnaire form, so im going to give it a second shot, i know last time i seem to come out of my 1to1 sessions feeling on a high or sad or exhaust...... There was something i said yesterday at my group sessions and my counsellor said that he was so glad i bought it up, (so he pin point that and siad i think you need 1to1 sessions )im not sure what it was now weather it was me being jealous but not in a horrible way, and also about my lenght of sobriety. My husband said the other day that his the one that needs counselling it really made me feel guilty that i should not have the help im getting but NO this is about ME getting better. I also think now that im getting confuse at this present moment with my craving and anxiety. There are lots of knots that need to be undone in my stomach.
      Thanks for mwo it really has help me to open up and be honest in myself without mwo i would not be here and still be in denial. This site has been a blessing for me. This is where my journey all started from, and i will never ever forget that in years to come.
      :l:h
      Formerly known as Teardrop:l
      sober dry since 11th Jan '2010' relapse/slip on 23/7/13 working in progress ! Sober date 25/7/13 ( True learning has often followed an eclipse, a time of darkness, but with each cycle of my recovery, the light grows stronger and my vision is clearer. (AA)
      my desire to avoid hitting bottom again was more powerful then my desire to drink !

      Comment

        #4
        why is it?

        Hi Catch 22, Ruby gave you some great advice, I am glad you are more at peace with things. Your original post asked, I think, one of the oldest philosophical questions. It is funny how our brains are wired isn't it. I think, instead of finding the answer, as we age, we are experienced enough (or wise enough) to know when we are under the spell of this type of thinking. All the best,
        Hill
        Sober since Feb 7, 2010.

        Comment

          #5
          why is it?

          Catch, even though alcoholism is a selfish disease, regaining our sobriety has to be selfish too, for a while. You have to focus totally on your recovery, and it CAN cause resentment among those close to us. That doesn't mean we can ignore those around us, or their feelings, but we have to do what we have to do to heal. Be compassionate with your mate, let him talk about his feelings, offer gentle suggestions, but don't feel guilt that you are receiving help. It doesn't make sense to ignore our problems and the help offered because someone else also needs help. What good is it to remain dysfunctional just because someone else is? When you are stronger, you will be able to offer more and more help, and be a good influence, role model, for him if he seriously wants to better himself.
          None of this comes easy; our relationships change constantly, and constantly take vigilance and work. But if they are based on mutual respect and love, they are worth it. I'll be married 40 years in August. MANY times I've considered other possibilities, because things have changed so much from the two skinny, naieve teens who married in 1970. But I'm also aware of what most of the rest of the free world is going through, struggling to find someone decent who cares about them to share their life with, and even though you've shared some things about your marriage, there is something there or you wouldn't be worried about him. Sobriety in a relationship makes things like a new beginning. I'm proud of you for following through on this.
          sigpic
          Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
          awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

          Comment

            #6
            why is it?

            Catch, Ruby

            I'm finding in my marriage he was all for my changing and going AF the first week or so. But alcohol and Xanax are such a huge part of who he is....his words, I think he is seeing maybe being with me sober or drinking is not his cup of tea or booze.

            As with being AF I've decided to just take this one day at a time. I'm not willing to apologize for being me anymore. I'm willing to change some things to please him and do what I can to please him, but not at the risk of losing my life.

            Take special care of yourself! We cannot be anything to someone else if we aren't taking care of ourselves first.

            Comment

              #7
              why is it?

              wonderment

              catch22;837265 wrote: when you want, you cant get it and when you can you dont want it?

              Dont know what to do they want me to have a one to one counselling session but i dont

              know why i dont want to, is because im 3months and i think im ok or is it because im

              afraid ? I have been to one to one sessions before so i dont know why im feeling like this.

              Anyone else felt like this ? and find that afterwards they benefit from it?
              hi catch,interesting,who s they,i went thro similar,2 years ago,and ended up in treatment,what i went thro was beneficial,but,it haunts me to this day,some good,and some bad,theres an old saying in life,take the good,and leave the rest,you are a very wise person,give yourself some credit,use what youve lerned the last several months,youll be amased,how the brain works,when it is rite, gyco all the best dear

              Comment

                #8
                why is it?

                ps think,b4 you speak ?

                Comment

                  #9
                  why is it?

                  Just wanted to let you all know that today at my CAT group meetings, i mention about this , I didn't realize, BUT they do have meetings for couples so that the other half does not feel left out because they dont really understand what we are going through, so that they will have more of a understanding about this and why i need to keep going to all my meetings. Ruby you are so right i didn't realize he needs help as well. Im still learning.

                  Thank you ALL, it all helps.x
                  Formerly known as Teardrop:l
                  sober dry since 11th Jan '2010' relapse/slip on 23/7/13 working in progress ! Sober date 25/7/13 ( True learning has often followed an eclipse, a time of darkness, but with each cycle of my recovery, the light grows stronger and my vision is clearer. (AA)
                  my desire to avoid hitting bottom again was more powerful then my desire to drink !

                  Comment

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