Advice concerning a family matter...

[fennel]

Advice concerning a family matter...

Spam;837938 wrote: Hi Fennel,

Could it be the sleeping arrangements? Whilst you see "N" on his territory, he may not be aware that you are sharing a bed with Mrs F.

At your house, it would be obvious. That could mean his parents have to explain about sex and relationships etc etc. And they may not be ready for that yet.

Good luck and well done on keeping such a level head.

Spam

No, it's not that...from the very first time he laid eyes on us, (little N circling our bed naked), he's known we sleep together (We share a bed at their house). In fact, we registered as domestic partners in January, and their family sent us congrats. In our house, N would be sleeping in the down stairs guest bed room, which is quite comfy, especially with our kitties, whom he loves. Oddly, Mrs. Fennel laughed at me when I informed her that I hadn't heard from her sister yet. Apparently, she doesn't think I will. She has the whole thing sussed out.

[sunshine_gg]

Advice concerning a family matter...

I was going to say the same as Spam... that perhaps an overnight visit may prompt some questions when 'N' got back home... which isn't always easy for parents, especially if they are somewhat divided.

Either way, I hope you do get an answer, that Mrs Fennel will still go to the family bash, and that young 'N' isn't going to be deprived of 2 obviously very caring aunties.

:l Good luck!

[Miss Behaving]

Advice concerning a family matter...

Fennel,

It sounds like you have approached this situation with care and thought.

The only thing I would add is that 12 year olds are pretty capable of making up their own mind about things, and their views often differ from those of their parents!

[fennel]

Advice concerning a family matter...

Thanks, guys...I'm just waiting to hear from sis...N has only ever known Mrs. Fennel and I to be in the same bed, so it's not that.

One thing that comes to mind is that when sis and bro-in-law were looking to adopt, the child had to be a male, so that bro could teach him to play hockey and baseball. To make a long story short, N hated hockey and baseball- he rebelled big time. He is into piano, clarinet, beading and knitting. I'm wondering if bro is worried that N is heading towards being gay, and being exposed to Mrs. Fennel and myself will only "gay" him up more? Maybe I'm grabbing at straws, here. If anything, I push the kid to his butchiest limits. Sigh.

[fennel]

Advice concerning a family matter...

sunshine_gg;837998 wrote:
Either way, I hope you do get an answer, that Mrs Fennel will still go to the family bash, and that young 'N' isn't going to be deprived of 2 obviously very caring aunties.

:l Good luck!

Oh, Mrs. Fennel is going...she just doesn't know it yet. There is no need to punish our nephew, and I am one of the June birthdays, as well as he!

[fennel]

Advice concerning a family matter...

Miss Behaving;837999 wrote: Fennel,

It sounds like you have approached this situation with care and thought.

The only thing I would add is that 12 year olds are pretty capable of making up their own mind about things, and their views often differ from those of their parents!

You are exactly right, Miss Behaving. I think the young man has his own opinions!

[sunshine_gg]

Advice concerning a family matter...

:H 'Atta gurl!

[fennel]

Advice concerning a family matter...

sunshine_gg;838012 wrote: :H 'Atta gurl!

Well, a gal's gotta do what a gal's gotta do!

I really love your signature...

[fennel]

Advice concerning a family matter...

Got a reply...

I got a reply from Mrs. Fennel's sister...
She explained that she plans on "terrorizing" both sets of grands with N's presence during the time Mrs. Fennel wanted us to have N. She asked for us not to be hurt. I am completely accepting her explanation, as she has always been accepting of us. There will be other times we can take N. I sent the reply to Mrs. Fennel. I expect her full compliance at the June birthdays. I'm sorry things got so carried away...it didn't make immediate sense to me, and I'm sorry that I let Mrs. Fennel's negative attitude infect me. Thanks to all of you...you were so supportive! :thanks:

[Guest]

Advice concerning a family matter...

Fennel,

You sound like you have an extremely excepting nature, a level head and a wonder sense of humour.

Make sure "N" grows up like you :H

Spam x

[NoraC]

Advice concerning a family matter...

Fennel - I'm sorry that I came upon this post late. I think you handled it wonderfully. :l I am so proud of you for keeping a level head. That is the way to do it.
We also have relatives that are gay. Actually, my niece (the one that is like my daughter) has her other set of Aunts that she is close to. And they are a couple. They have been for years & years.
So, when I first started reading your post, I was all set to give you advise. Then, I saw that you didn't need any. :H You handled it all beautifully. You will get to have you wonderful nephew over next time.

[sunshine_gg]

Advice concerning a family matter...

Awesome! June festivities are saved!